Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I saw this on the Daily Mail online page earlier
I came home to find my husband wearing a blonde wig, heels, a tight dress and scarlet lipstick. It turned out he'd a cross-dressing fetish for YEARS - and this is what it did to our marriage
I couldn't get to the nub of the story as it's a pay per view website so you only get the clickbait headline but the comments were all negative (there's a surprise)
Perhaps I misjudged the story, has anyone read it, maybe it was a positive outcome?
When I grew out of the Bunty my next comic of choice was the Daily Mail among others. I did read this article and before I even started I knew it would be less than positive.
Yes she did come home and found her spouse in 'Full drag' dressed to the nines and looking older and an image of the mother. She was shocked, had no idea and buckled onto the sofa. She then gave the definition of crossdresser as someone who is not transgender but likes wearing womens clothes. Okay thus far...
Then she explained that some years ago 'transvestism', as it was then was seen as a fetishism, her husband dressed for sexual gratification with her,although saying he wasn't gay nor transgender.
Then there was a long piece about her feelings and that he wanted this sexual gratification when dressed and she was uncomfortable with it. Although she says she tried and even went to a counselor, where the subject wasn't bought up but the relationship was doomed. He did have purges but soon it came back. She felt that if she rejected his advances when dressed she would, and other women in that situation would be classed as prejudiced.
Fundamentally she couldn't come to terms with it and felt betrayed as seeing signs of his dressing and even agreeing to going to a fancy dress party as Cagney and Lacey she saw him parading around she just didn't like it. She says that for her and other wives it was hard to admit she didn't like it and wondered had she have known before she married him was unsure how she would have responded.
After eight years of marriage they parted but there was other reasons and not solely due to the dressing. After he had left and she cleared the house she was shocked to find a bag of his womens clothes in the wardrobe.
At the end she felt she had married a stranger.
I can sympathise with the theme of a wife who is confronted with the issue, tries to go along with it and even understand as a personal account with anxieties she has faced which is quite reasonable as a position some partners are faced with. It cannot be easy as we know. Note that they both went to counselling but the topic, which was the theme of this article was never mentioned that issue being the 'Elephant in the room'. Also the prejudice she and other women like her would face if they dare mention it.
I cannot know as to how many crossdressers do dress for the reasons explained here but it adds a subversive taint along with the reference of transvestism being a fetish, we can all see the inference there. It casts a dark veil over crossdressing that it is a perversion and that the demand for sex when dressed suggests a danger to women as she 'went along with it to please him' is dangerous as what is sex without consent. I shudder. It has to be said that eventually they became less intimate and eventually it stopped.
It is typical of the Mail to write an overtly negative piece with sinister undertones about a crossdressing partner. The Mail is very anti trans and this article conforms to its bias which is painfully obvious along with pieces such as the prejudice she would feel mentioning it, again referring to the anti trans attitudes and cancel culture, women being cowed by it all, which fit in with the papers ideology. This is why this was published, to taint the trans/crossdressing community. It would be amazing if they did print a positive account in the name of balance.
I have of course referred to the article and some of the contents but believe this has been written fairly as an overview and my opinion having read much in the Mail based on the opinions and articles written about the transgender topic.
Why do I read it you ask? I like the crossword and Garfield.........also to see how various papers deal with our issue....you have to keep aware....
I managed to read the article using Windows + Shift + S and invoking the snipping tool before the DM subscription message covers it up and it is just as Angela says.
The Daily Mail have a 'Make the UK Grate [sic] Again' attitude to the news and are somewhat biased in their outlook. I only access it to look at the fashions on the 'Femail' page—strangely, I don't usually need a subscription for that.
It is fortunate that the Daily Mail does not represent the more common open-minded thinking of most of the British public [that I've met as a practising cross-dresser] but it is their right to spout their version of things to their hearts content, just as it is our right to disagree with it, or preferably, dismiss it out of hand as the puerile click-bait I believe it to be.
Becca
Hi,
I have topics set up in my news feeds and cross dressing is one. So this article appeared today. I read it and Angela's recap is spot on. I was unaware of the tilt of the Daily Mail until it was pointed out. Thanks, I'll have a more critical eye on future articles from the DM. A more supportive article came out on 12/27 in the Dear Deidre column in the Sun.
@sashabennett It's called clickbait for a reason 😉 The headline is all there is, everything else is fluff. If there is a real story behind it, I doubt it'd be interesting.
The Mail is a hate rag read by those who like to hate anything that isn't within their ideology, lifestyle, or political view. I wouldn't wipe my arris on it!
As for the wife finding her husband and not liking it.... My wife didn't find me. We both kind of got into it during "play time" she would occasionally put stockings on me... She then learned that I was very excited by this, so it slowly moved on to lingerie, then fetish wear... I then discovered that I liked the feel of female clothing, and I would dress in my wife's clothes occasionally... We weren't married then and still living with our respective parents.
We eventually bought a house together. The fetish side grew and grew. My wife was really into it. More into it than I was, though I enjoyed it. She would often have ato work away for days on end. I rralised that the fetish clothing wasn't what I went for. I went for underwear and normal clothes. I'd come home from work, shower, and dress in my wifes underwear and a dress.
The fetish side grew until one day, something changed, and it changed in an instant. One minute were we really getting into things. Both wearing PVC dresses...And then WHAM! She stopped. She insisted I take the dress and underwear off. From that moment on, she was dead against my dressing as a woman. This was a real hatred of it. An angry hatred of it. It all happened in a second!
This state remained for many years. I would dress when she was away, but that was the only time. I had to be totally back to normal by the time she came home. One time, after being away all week, she noticed a smell of perfume on me... She went bonkers!!!!
After a considerable time, she started getting more OK with my need to crossdress. She understood that it was more a need than a want. I bought a few items of my own (normal clothes, the fetish stuff was long gone). I was allowed to wear these when she wasn't around... Slowly, very slowly, things changed. It took many, Many years, and now I live as cerys 80 to 90% of the time. We love each other very much indeed, but sadly my wife has no desire for anything physical no matter how I'm dressed. She won't even give me a kiss goodbye if I'm dressed, but she is fully supportive.
Whilst she is supportive, she doesn't enjoy my crossdressing. She sees the advantages, I love shopping, I lend her clothes. She sees styles on me and sometimes tries them out. She's not a girly woman by a long stick. I often have to encourage her to wear acress or a skirt. We were talking about this with my son and his girlfriend yesterday, and my wife's words were "it is what it is. I've become used to it. I live with it. It's who he is". These words went deep! She more than tolerates it. She does support it. She buys me stuff... She is amazing, but I feel that if it were possible, she'd prefer it if I wasn't a crossdresser. TBH, at times, I'd prefer it if I wasn't a crossdresser. I need Cerys. She my stabiliser. She's my superhero. Cerys keeps me sane and functioning. She boosts me.... Though she also causes a lot of hassle sometimes. I make a point of at least one day a week, reverting to male mode, if not all day, at least when my wife finishes work.
In February, we'll have been married 33 years. We'll lived together for 2 years before that, and we got together in 1984. We've been through a lot. We're far from perfect, but our love is eternal, no matter what life throws at us.
Cerys