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I was able to spend yesterday afternoon doing what girls love to do - shopping. My wife was kind enough to tell me to take the afternoon and go shopping for something for Suzanne.
I went to a department store and looked around but couldn't find anything (I know how is that possible) that caught my eye. I was hoping for a denim skirt but didn't see any. I could have asked but that is not in my nature.
I left there and went to Goodwill. It was fun looking thru the racks. There was a denim skirt (button up the front, mid calf length) which would have worked but was one size too small (I think) (I'm not to the point of trying things on yet). I looked thru the racks of dresses one at a time - so many to choose from. I finally decided on a light blue dress with 4 inch white lace trim on the sleeves and hem, it is very light material - perfect for hot weather. I also picked out a black glittery calf length dress with a slit to mid thigh on the left side with spaghetti straps. As I was walking to the register I passed a rack of tops and picked out a white eyelet lace top. I also perused the purses and found a black crossbody sling bag that would work en homme as well as en femme.
It was a fund afternoon and I only spent $25 for all of it. When I got home I showed my wife and tried them on. The Black dress is a bit tight in the abdomen (I look a couple months pregnant) but as I only dress at home and mostly in private it works for me. I spent the evening wearing the blue dress with white sandals. I'm wearing the white top with a striped skirt as I'm typing.
It has been a long time since I went shopping for Suzanne so it was nice being able to do it.
XOXO
Suzanne
Sounds like a fun and productive afternoon, Suzanne. I like to have my wife with me when I'm shopping for Allie, I appreciate her opinion and we have similar tastes. I don't like shopping for drab clothes, I'm never satisfied with the five choices that men have, regardless of which shop I'm in!
It's also great to get home and try on the new purchases😊.
Allie x
@alexina thank you - it's funny my wife calls me her fashionista and likes when I help her shop - she says I pick out clothes better than she does - talk about affirming my femininity - I agree about shopping for drab
XOXO
Suzanne
There was a denim skirt (button up the front, mid calf length) which would have worked but was one size too small (I think) (I'm not to the point of trying things on yet).
I have only used a change room a couple of times. One was sort of unnecessary because I knew the shirt body would fit (I just wasn't sure of the arm length yet), but another was for an expensive bra and I was too far from home to bother with a return. It had to be exactly right.
Now, I carry a measuring tape with me and curb any buying ideas until I find something that measures up with my body dimensions. This list grows each time I come across a problem (pant legs not the correct length, sleeves too narrow or too short, dresses that won't fit around my male chest / ribs / waist). I now carry my numbers in a note app on my phone, instead of on a light card.
I am now getting to the point that I know some of my numbers without even looking (be careful). If I am still unsure, there is usually a change room as back-up.
Clerks either bite their tongues, help you while giving you a smile, or you can walk away with your money. It's as simple as that.
@harriette As a piece of information for some, department store and clothing manufacturer web sites will have diagrams or videos that illustrate how to take measurements.
@flatlander48 The great thing about standards is that there are so many of them.
Buying on-line is one thing, but if you have an item in your hands, then you can check more parts.
@harriette The problem for women’s clothing is that there are no published standards. That gives manufacturers license to manipulate as they choose. Those who make larger sizes are the worst as they know people will feel better if they are told that they wear a size 16 rather than an 18, and so on. That’s also true for those who create their own scales. For Chico’s, for example, my size 18 dress miraculously becomes a size 3.5!
What’s not to like?
@flatlander48 Yes, that was my point. Each company is free to create their own scales. I recently read about the official US sizing guide for clothing manufacturers from after WW2 and even it migrated sizing. Size numbers (9, 12, 14, etc.) are arbitrary. Shoe sizing is just as bad. If the shoe fits, though, wear it.
I just bought a pair of Old Navy jeans in size 9. I just bought a Melanie Lynn dress and I can barely squeeze into a size 14. From the same company, regardless of brand, a size 14 can be right, but so can a size 16.
Measuring tapes are not arbitrary. That's why I carry one around with me.
@harriette Shoe sizing is actually pretty consistent as it is based on actual measurements. The only problem was jumping between men’s and women’s sizes. Used to be that, regarding US sizing, the difference was 2 sizes. These days it is more like 1 to 1 1/2 sizes. All of my shoes (~30 pairs) are size 11 and this cuts across maybe 5 vendors.
@flatlander48 The only shoe sizing method based on actual measurements that I know of is in millimeters. I have seen some Asian sources use that on-line, but I have yet to try using it to buy shoes that way.
Otherwise, my shoe size numbers range from 11 to 15. Not exactly a model of consistency.
@harriette When you do a search for:
womens shoe size chart
many images come up. One that seems useful is this one:
If you look at several charts you will find some slight differences, but in general they will be pretty close. Going back many years, I measured my feet. If you search around, there are instructions on how to do this, but it is pretty straightforward.
Stand facing away next to a vertical surface. With full body weight on your feet, position the heal of which foot you want to measure such that it barely touches the vertical surface. The length of your foot will be measured from the vertical surface to the end of your big toe. The human body isn’t symmetrical so it is probably a good idea to measure both feet. Typically the right foot will be longer, but for some the left foot is longer.
By my measurements, I wear a size 11 in women’s shoes. This chart is consistent for me as I wear a 9 1/2 to 10 (US) in men’s shoes. It used to be that people quoted the difference between men’s and women’s sized as 2, but it seems these days that 1 size to 1 1/2 sizes is more common.
Sizes up to 11 are readily available. Larger sizes are more difficult to find. But, what compounds the problem is that the wider sizes are also hard to find. However, there are some ways around this. Shoes that have less structure are helpful, such as open toe, open heel, clogs, strappy sandals and shoes with elastic uppers; for example, knit uppers.
@flatlander48 Don't worry, I sold shoes and other footwear for many years. I won't be buying shoes on-line. I also have quite painful Morton's Neuroma, so the width must be right, too. I will try shoes on before buying any.
@heathersdeathersdeathersdarriette Probably 90% of my shoes were purchased online. Width is more a problem for me, so once I steered away from shoes closed on both ends that helped a lot. But, this isn’t a problem as I live in the SoCal desert. For closed shoes, what would be ideal for me would be an 11 1/2 wide, but they seem not to exist. Over time I’ve returned maybe 2 pairs; problem being the tightness of the toe strap on sandals.
I think the important thing is to understand what our particular issues are figure out what style or type of shoe works best.
@flatlander48 What works best for Morton's Neuroma is wide toe-box running shoes. That isn't the same things as a Stuart Weitzman 2.5" 👠. 😉
@harriette Personally, I stay from Asian web sites selling items from Asian vendors. That’s where the problem with consistency lies. They think of sizing differently and quality control checks seem to be non-existent. For them, sizes needed by US folks would be outliers. It also seems like Close is good enough.
I think many are drawn in by the low pricing, but I think we also have to realize that You Get What You Pay For.
@flatlander48 Thanks - I have used those in the past and they are very helpful
XOXO
Suzanne
@harriette Thank you - I do have my basic measurements on my phone but never thought about my arm and leg measurements - a good idea thanks as well as carrying a measuring tape - a cloth one would fit in a pocket or purse and would be handy - I'm sure you're right about SA's not caring just haven't gotten brave enough to do that yet - maybe soon
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Over time, you will find more parts of clothes that won't fit your male body, so your list will grow. When you find an ideal fit, update your list.
A cloth tape will roll up to the diameter of a quarter, so it is easy to fit in a bag and carry it around with you.
Once you start using a fitting room, you will surprise yourself at just how easy it is to do. It is easier than dealing with returns, that's for sure.
I see that love for shopping persists everywhere 😂. I like to shop but sometimes I just window shop, meaning I just take a look at the products, their designs, fabric, etc and just leave when I'm satisfied. 😁
Although going home and trying on the products you bought brings on a new sense of satisfaction. 😄
Regards
Max
@maximusmax Thanks - I do a lot of perusing with no intention of buying anything - just to see what is available and the prices is helpful in building a wish list = you're so right about the satisfaction of buying things, taking them home and trying them on - posing in front of the mirror is the fun part
XOXO
Suzanne
That's true ☺️ Although I'm yet to openly start buying all the dresses and such, 😂 I am still new and trying things. Let's see how it goes when I express myself more in front of a mirror and also to outside 😁
Best
Maxine
@cdsue I love to shop as well, especially at thrift stores. I have found some wonderful brand name items like like Calvin Klein dresses for next to nothing. I have very little closet space so I don't feel bad about rotating out outfits that I purchased for so little. I wish I had the nerve to try on the clothes since sales are final but going into a dressing room in drab with a hand full of women's clothes takes more courage than I can currently muster. I also had noticed that I get more looks in the thrift stores since women are not expecting a man to be buying woman's clothing there. In a retail everyone assumes you are buying a gift but in the thrift store not so much. I have never had anyone make me feel uncomfortable at the checkout though. It is such a fun way to spend an afternoon and I enjoy seeing if I can find something special in the color of the day at Goodwill which gives an additional 50% of of already crazy cheap prices.
@michellemybell Thanks - thrift store shopping is fun with great bargains - I forgot about the color of the day at Goodwill - I know what you mean bout having the nerve to use the dressing room at the thrift shop - I'm hoping to one day have the courage to do that - I agree that you may get more looks from women when shopping in the thrift store than a regular store but for me I'm kind of over that - for all they know you could be shopping for someone else- or how many can't afford to shop in regular stores or have a female relative or friend that can't get out but needs clothes to wear at a nursing home or being home bound - thrift shop clothes work well at a nursing home where things have a tendency to be misplaced (of course a sequined evening dress may not be appropriate - but they do have special nights)
XOXO
Suzanne
How nice for you Suzanne! So great to hear what a fun afternoon you had. I too love to peruse the racks of thrift & charity resale shops, especially when out of town as something to do during the daytime hours. Always find a great & stylish item or two for my ever increasing wardrobe.
I am certain you look fabulous in all your choices.. and what a great wife you have!
Best
Emily
@emilysouthern Thanks - what I love about Thrift Shops is that you never know what you will find - I always have a couple things in mind (like a denim skirt or an evening gown) but the other items you can come across can inspire a new look - yes my wife is great - I got to hang out that evening wearing the light blue dress with the lace trim and a pair of white sandals - it was so nice
XOXO
Suzanne
I am happy that you jad such a wonderful, and have such a wonderful wife.
It is surprisingly easy to spand a day shopping and not find anything you really like. I always find some nice thinhs, but nothing that blows up my skirt and that I really want vs, its just okay. I tey not to buy "just okay" these days.
I rarely shop thrift stores...I don't like the randomness of them, but I did find a nice skirt, top and cami in a little shop once. There were two very elderly ladies at the cointer who jist smiled as I checked out. It was a knowing smile as if to say, " we may be old, but we know you are a crossdresser and we think it is okay."
It was a knowing smile as if to say, " we may be old, but we know you are a crossdresser and we think it is okay."
How many wives would wear a size 12 shoe? Yeah, I know that look. Got it on the last weekend. 🦶
@harriette that's funny that you say that and I have to agree - that's the size I wear = once my wife and I went to a Goodwill, when we walked in the door there was a pair of thigh high boots on a shelf on top of the clothes rack - I looked at them and they were a size 12 without thinking I took one of my shoes off and tried one on and to my amazement they fit - it was afterward that I realized what I had done - my wife didn't say anything and we bought them - it was funny that no comments were made as people were going in and out of the store when it happened
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue If you can do that with traffic around you, using a fitting room will be a piece of cake.
When I found these pumps, I looked for a quiet spot to slip the shoes on. It was quite busy, so there was no private spot. I found a clothing rack isle with no-one in it, quickly slipped off my walking shoe, slipped on a single pump and felt the fit. By that time, someone came up behind me and then avoided the isle. Not my problem. 😁
@jjandme Something to consider about thrift stores is that they typically not seasonal as department stores, and others, tend to be. Also it isn’t unusual to find new items with the original tags.
I was in a thrift store a few years ago and found a skirt suit by Le Suit. What I didn’t know was that it had been separated and placed on a jacket rack and a skirt rack. I noticed in passing that the tag on the jacket said ”Two Piece” and I put it back on the rack. A bit later I was looking at the skirt rack and saw a Le Suit skirt that also said “Two Piece”. I took it over to the jacket rack and it was an exact match! Retail the set would have been $150 - $160 but my total was $25!
@flatlander48 I agree it can be hodge podge but if you're not looking for the current season it can be a wonderful place to buy for the season they have - most things are stylish and in good condition at a great price - it does take some effort to shop in them as like you siad they will breaks things up at times - what a deal you got on the suit - the beauty of thrift shopping
XOXO
Suzanne
@jjandme Thanks - I appreciate your comment on my wife she is wonderful - I agree that it is okay to go shopping and not get anything - I think that is part of the fun of shopping - I find thrift stores fun to shop in because of the randomness - depending on the area you shop in there can be some good buys on designer clothes - what is nice is that we all have our choices and no one is wrong in what they choose, part of the fun - I like going to the high end stores and perusing the racks with no intention of buying - I like the encounter you had when checking out with the elderly ladies - I'm sure I've gotten osme glances ine the past when I've made some purchases
XOXO
Suzanne
Sounds like you had a wonderful time, Suzanne. And congratulations on having such a supportive wife!
I like to go window shopping, mostly en homme. Sometimes I get lucky and find something that's the right size at the right price. Most recently, I found a navy blue sleeveless dress at a local thrift store. Surprisingly, people don't care if a man is looking at women's clothes. I've been to Ross, Marshalls, Macys, Walmart and countless thrift stores. No one cares!
Happy shopping!
xoxo
Sonal
@sonal Thanks - she is wonderful - it's nice to have her support - I agree that most people don't care about a man looking at women's clothes - for all they know it could be for a wife, girlfriend, daughter, mother and never think he is looking for himself - the navy blue sleeveless dress sounds nice hope youbought it
XOXO
Suzanne
Shopping is even more fun en femme, buy I agree, no one cares. If anything SAs are more supportive and helpful
I love shopping, my wife and I go to goodwill and resale shops all the time. I am to point that I try stuff on even when not en femme.
@emily2day that is wonderful that you adn your wife go shopping together - my wife and I do that on occasion - that is great that you try stuff on - I'm hoping to do that soon - I know of one thrift shop that is trans friendly (my therapist told me about it) so that is where I would probably start - just have to put on my big girl panties and do it
XOXO
Suzanne
@emily2day Same here. I go to Goodwill all the time. In fact, I took a short drive to the one in Plano yesterday and bought a couple of nice dresses and a scarf. I love Goodwill! I also like going to Out Of The Closet in Cedars Springs. They usually have a great collection.
I did try a dress on in a shop on Saturday when visiting the shop in drab mode. The owner was quite happy to try it on (I bought it, plus a matching belt)
This is why I think SAs are happy to serve CDs. While we are not obliged to buy what we try on, I will lay odds we buy more times the cis- women.
Not that that is the only reason. I do think we are mote poliye and curtious, as well as more appreciative of the service. It os uniquoe to is, and just routinely.expected for cis-women.
@jjandme This is true of other somewhat marginalized groups who don't necessarily want to push the buttons of others and don't want to stand out under some sort of pressure, too.
@jjandme Both my wife and I buy a lot of clothes anyway. Mine nearly all come from places where I can try them on or know the sizes. I buy hosiery mostly online as the brand I use is an online retailer. Shoes I have no choice - have to buy online as high street shops don't stock my size
Hey Suzanne, I always find shopping therapy very relaxing too. Nice selection, Marg
@margprodue Thanks - couldn't agree more shopping therapy is very relaxing
XOXO
Suzanne
Great story Suzanne, shopping is definitely a thrill! I do most of my shopping online since it's convenient, and there are more options but I still get really excited to go to a department store or shopping center and browse the lingerie department for their new styles.
@jess92 Thanks - I shop online as well (mostly browse) but do find going to a store is so much fun - I buy all my panties and stockings/pantyhose, as well as some of my bras in the store - the lingerie department is one place I peruse when I go shopping at Wal Mart (never know what is on sale)
XOXO
Suzanne
I shop, often with my wife, while either en femme or drab and it is quite usual for me to use the fitting rooms. There is a gardening and leisure centre we go to that has a wonderful line of ladies clothes and two, simple to access, changing rooms; I have been in both en femme and in drab to try on a skirt or top. I like our local Primark for ease of use of the changing rooms because they have male, female and gender-neutral rooms. Use the GN room and no one can complain in the slightest.
I know my size now, having lost a lost of weight so I can look ok in feminine clothing and can get away with a size 18 (UK) and sometimes a size 16 depending on generosity of the maker. I have to be careful with trousers/jeans etc. because I have a similar leg length to a woman of my size but I don't have the fat layer that gives the leg a womanly shape and jeans that might look good and tight on a GG often just seem to hang like pair of loose slacks on my less-than-filled-out legs.
I usually buy shoes on line as being a UK size 9, that's usually one size over what normal shoe shops will stock, I think only Next go up to size 9 on the high street.
