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Should I approach someone I suspect is CD or trans?

12 Posts
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Posts: 299
Duchess
Topic starter
(@elguapo)
Reputable Member     The Villages, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

A few days ago I was in a grocery store in the man mode. I saw a lady I suspect is a crossdresser or perhaps a trans person. I saw the typical indicators: she was quite tall, well over six feet; broad shoulders; large hands; thinning hair. She was dressed in a nice skirt or maybe skorts since they are quite popular here, a sporty top, not much makeup, hair well done although thin on top. Anyway I really wanted to approach and tell her how much I admired her for being out and about, how nice she looks, and hopefully lead to a discussion about cd life in general. But then - what if she is not cd or trans? Or maybe she just wants to fit in and not be made. Thoughts?

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11 Replies
Posts: 136
Ambassador
(@ginaangel)
Estimable Member     San Francisco area, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I have joked that we need a secret sign or handshake. You flash it, and if you get the proper response, feel free to approach.

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Posts: 556
Lady
(@lannab)
Honorable Member     Allentown area, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I agree with Gina. I've had several encounters like that where I was sure the person was but refrained from approaching. Everyone is entitled to their privacy, which is why I didn't. Could have been their first time out and by appoaching I might have caused some undo anxiety for that person.

Lanna

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Posts: 2144
(@cyberian2)
Noble Member     Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Unless they initiate a conversation.....I don't interfere with them.......they could very well be straight and a serious incident could occur.

Lady Veronica

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Posts: 61
Lady
(@paula-w)
Trusted Member     EWING, NJ, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Yes i agree there should be a secret sign  or handshake.

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Posts: 9
Lady
(@foxanne)
Active Member     Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Even if your suspicions are correct, no cd wants to be figured out. Doesn't mean you can't casually approach them, just not on that topic.

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Posts: 136
Ambassador
(@ginaangel)
Estimable Member     San Francisco area, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Best answer in my opinion, short of gang signs - giggle

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Posts: 196
 Dana
Lady
(@sabrinacan)
Reputable Member     Long Beach, California, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Interesting question. I posed the question to myself. Would I want to be approached? The quick answer is yes. Yes in man or female form. However that's me I'm very extroverted and love to talk with just about anyone who will listen. Lol That being said if I saw someone who I thought was a crossdressers. I would only approach them if I had cause to do so. Now if I casually mentioning  how nice her heels are in a line at the grocery store I would not feel like I'm invading her privacy. I know this if I'm out in public people are going to talk to me good or bad. Over all I would think that while were out were like an undercover agents and we kinda want to stay undercover. That's why so much concealer and cover up. Lol  In retrospect the question should be how can I find a CD girlfriend? I know I would love to have a friend I could physically see for shopping,lunch or perhaps a spa day. That would be lovely.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I haven't gone out en femme, and cannot pass. I have shoulders like a lumberjack.  My secretary knows I crossdress and calls me "Chica" or "ma'am" sometimes,  because she knows I love it.  If I saw a crossdresser out en femme I would definitely approach her, but not on the topic of crossdressing. I would go out of my way to call her ma'am or miss, just because I know what a thrill it would give her.  "Nice shoes, ma'am" is a terrific conversation starter with either a woman or a crossdresser, because we spend a lot of time picking just the right pumps or shoes, and it's nice when someone notices.

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Posts: 578
Baroness Annual
(@delaware)
Honorable Member     los angeles, California, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I would approach with caution. Never bring up CD and just be pleasant because as CD, we all want to blend in and be treated as femme.  If she brings is up, then maybe you can show more of your femme side. I did that once , had a wonderful conversation and we parted friends.

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Posts: 3
 Bel
Lady
(@frkgr354)
Active Member     Reedsburg, Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

If I was also in femme, which for me would be like a 40% chance, then I would defiantly approach them for a conversation. I like the shoe angle here. If I wasn't I would make a mental note of the person and keep an eye out for them.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Remember the little convenient thing called "visit card", or "business card". You can make them at home now with an application and a printer, on thick paper. Who and what you are and how to contact you.
A situation like the one described would be a perfect opportunity to use one of them.
Otherwise, approaching a person could be the behavior of an impolite person, or a man. Unless you feel that this person knows that you read her and is herself willing to start a conversation, for whatever reason.

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