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Six months of being me

43 Posts
22 Users
157 Reactions
562 Views
Posts: 354
Lady
Topic starter
(@nataliejane99)
Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Ladies!

Last fall after meeting Liz K and a handful of other CD's in Palm Springs for the Halloween gathering, I ended up having a life-changing realization.  I no longer identify as a part-time CD... I am excited to share that I am a proud Transgender woman!

During the past 7 months I began my gender transition, first socially, which started with my partner and children, friends, family (parents and siblings), then work.  Soon after announcing my transition at work I started HRT with the assistance of an endocrinologist.  The amount of change in my life has been significant, but I can confirm that for the first time in my adult life am truly happy.  With few exceptions I have been greeted by friends, family, and coworkers with open arms.  The core acceptance by others, and guidance of my therapist, have certainly made my gender transition easier.

I am not a different person - quite the opposite - I now have capacity to live my truth with the world, and it is very liberating.  The feelings of listlessness and depression have eased.  I have shown interest in activities again and am no longer 'angry'.  

Some of you may remember nearly a year ago when I was afraid to leave my home. Frankly, for years I was being suppressed by my anxiety which was telling me I wasn't Transgender.  That I couldn't be.  These intrusive thoughts were hamstringing me from exploring my gender at a much younger age.  While I wish I could have embraced my gender identity at a much younger age, I will never discount my lived experiences regardless of my gender presentation.  That said, I am still working through trauma from my youth, but each layer I break through I become a stronger person.  

In honor of PRIDE month, I wanted to share this news with you all.  

Hugs and Joy!

-Natalie

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42 Replies
15 Replies
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1741

@nataliejane99 Congratulations, Natalie, on finding your true self.

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@alison-anderson Thanks, Alison!

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3843

@nataliejane99 

Natalie,

This is one of the most personal responses I've ever written in the Forums.  I don't know how else I could write it.  This is essentially an open message.

I am so glad you came to Palm Springs last Halloween!  As you've experienced, Palm Springs is a magical place.  For girls like us, it changes lives.  It changed mine.  The girls that go there are some of the most loving I've ever known.  The dearest of friends....

This is such a meaningful story for me to read.  It feels like my own.  I'm crying while I type this.  Tears of joy.  I'm so grateful I got to experience this with you.  And I'm honored to be a part of your life.  Rock on sister!

Giant hugs!

Liz

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@emilyalt Thanks, Emily!  You're encouragement to attend Halloween was a huge step.  It gave me confidence to spend a long weekend in Palm Springs being (almost) myself for the first time!  It truly allowed me to learn who I am and what I enjoyed about being a woman.  

Everything since then has been movement forward by steps, jumps, and runs!  

Natalie

Reply
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@nataliejane99 

This is wonderful to read Natalie.

You sound like you’re in a really good place at the moment, and I’m so happy for you.

Thank you for sharing this. 

Big Hugs
Lucy 

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@lucyb112 Thanks, Lucy!

Natalie

Reply
Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 9 months ago

Reputable Member     Blearmill, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 173

@nataliejane99 

congratulations!   It’s interesting how a real life experience can be so life changing.  Many of us have lived long lives suppressing our gender identity.   What seemed impossible, can so suddenly become possible!

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@kimdl94 Indeed!  There is no substitute for real-life experiences!  Though we may have anxiety about changes and the insecurity of the unknown, getting out of our comfort zone is an excellent way to learn more about ourselves and grow!

Hugs,

Natalie

Reply
(@autumngirl)
Joined: 6 years ago

Eminent Member     Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 34

@nataliejane99 I am so happy for you that your transition to your true self is progressing well and that your family and friends have been supportive!

 

Hugs,

Natalie

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@autumngirl Thanks, Natalie!  It's been an amazing journey so far.  

Hugs,

Natalie!

Reply
(@autumngirl)
Joined: 6 years ago

Eminent Member     Virginia, United States of America
Posts: 34

@nataliejane99 I am so happy for you that your transition to your true self is progressing well and that your family and friends have been supportive!

 

Hugs,

Natalie

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5182

@nataliejane99 

Hey girl

I am so, so glad that things are working out for you. Your story is truly inspirational!

The only way is up 🙂

Heart

Big hugs

Ellie x

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@ellyd22 Hey, Girl!  Thanks so much!!  I'm so glad you and the girls on this site have been a part of my gender journey!

HUGS,

Natalie

Reply
(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1197

@nataliejane99 Congratulations Natalie!  Much happiness in your future.   

Everything you said resonated with me so much.  I am pretty much at the point you are buy maybe a few months behind.  It's a bit scary and there is much work to be done but like you I am optimistic for the future of living in my truth.

Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@lauren114 thanks, Lauren!  Congrats to you too!  It is exciting and can be a little nerve wracking at times, but every step is worth it!!

hugs

-Natalie

Reply
Posts: 71
Duchess Annual
(@michellewayne)
Estimable Member     Seymour, Indiana, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Thank you for sharing Natalie. This is very exciting to read. I hope you continue in your forward movement. 

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@michellewayne Thanks, Michelle!  Every day is a gift.  I am still finding out things about myself which are surprising.  I have compassion for myself, I have capacity to love others AND myself, and very importantly I am proud to be me!!  

Natalie

Reply
Posts: 7796
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Congratulations Natalie!

Alice

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1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@aliceunderwire Thanks, Alice!

Reply
Posts: 1114
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

Congratulations, Natalie. I am glad for you. 

Gisela

Reply
Posts: 198
 Lacy
Duchess
(@rholtman96)
Reputable Member     Lincoln city, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

How utterly amazing, what a journey. Congratulations and may your future be full of love and acceptance.

Lacy

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@rholtman96 Thanks, Lacy!

Reply
Posts: 1059
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

How wonderful for you. I'm so happy that you are finding peace in your life after so many years without it. 

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@robertaf Thank you, Roberta!

Reply
Posts: 2099
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Natalie -

How wonderful for you. Thank you for sharing your story.

Best of luck as you continue your journey. May you continue to receive Love and acceptance.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@cdsue Thanks, Suzanne!

Reply
Posts: 3404
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Natalie, I am so happy for you, it is so wonderful to read such joyous news. Of course you would have loved this earlier in life but things contrive to thwart it although the feelings are there, it wasn't the right time.

No matter how late in life it was meant to be as this is the right time as you have the support around you so now can go full on and make up for lost time to be the wonderful woman you are.

You are an inspiration.

 

Big hugs

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@ab123 Hi Angela, you are so right!  Earlier in my life when I was exploring gender -or rather, becoming intrigued by the concept of a gender spectrum - I was not mentally capable of accepting that I was Trans.  There are many reasons why, but shame was a primary piece of the puzzle.  

I am now so happy to have a network of friends who are able to provide the support when I need it.  And of course, reciprocate and provide support when requested!

Hugs,

Natalie

Reply
Posts: 1497
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Wonderful news, Natalie! Congratulations,  and thank you for sharing. You must be over the moon!

Much hugs

x

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@jacquelinelarkspur I am truly thankful for the love and support I have received during this early stage of my transition.  I'm certainly feeling like I'm transcending to another plain of existence!!

Natalie

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Posts: 1446
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Natalie, this is such joyful news to read, congratulations!  And thank you for writing such inspiring words, to remind us all that the answer that you couldn't believe could be the right one, can be 🙂

Hugs, 
Fiona xxx

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1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@finallyfiona Thank you, Fiona!  I am glad that my story I can be inspirational for others.  It's never too late to be happy!

Hugs,

Natalie

Reply
Posts: 335
(@charlenev)
Reputable Member     ???? Park, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Natalie, truly happy for you. At this point I can only imagine the joy of living authentically. I have be aware for years that at heart I am a woman. Then last December I embraced the reality that indeed I am trans. But to make that mental break through that stands between me and my own. full time womanhood is not something I have been able to do.

If I can't be the woman I am I want to be able to enthusiastically support those who can and go choose to finally be authentic.

Hugs my sister.

Kindly, 

Charlene

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1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@charlenev 

The mental breakthrough is an important step, self-realization can be very difficult particularly when one has been living a life contrary to their true identity for decades.  The realization as you point out, is just the first step. 

There are many steps in gender transition, and being able to take the next steps one at a time, with support is instrumental.   

I wish the best for you and hope that perhaps one day you'll be able to fully embrace your authentic identity. 

-Natalie

Reply
Posts: 1780
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Congratulations Natalie!!

You are now embarking on a truly thrilling, interesting and fulfilling part of your life. I wish you the best and hope that you find, as I have, that living life as a woman is indeed a very pleasant way to lead one's life.

Fiona

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

Thanks, Fiona.  You're words are 100% accurate.  I can't imagine living my life any other way!!

Reply
Posts: 2
Duchess
(@stntylr101)
New Member     Texas, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Natalie, Thanks for telling your story. I"ve been leaning more and more towards living fulltime as Stacey and hearing other people's stories help encourage me.

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@stntylr101 Big Hugs to you, Stacy!  You can’t force yourself into transition or presenting fem full-time. You’ll know when the time comes.  

cheers!

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Posts: 485
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Congratulations on finding your way to yourself, Natalie! It takes courage to listen to your heart when so much in life is trying to tell you different. I wish you the best as you expand into the adventure of life as the complete woman you are!

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@justnikki Thanks, Nikki!  It means a lot to hear that. I think about bravery from and entirely different point of view. 

Hugs, 

Natalie

Reply
Posts: 1224
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Natalie, I wish you a wondrous congratulations! And I can tell you that there truly is nothing like what you are now doing, living as the woman you most likely always knew about.  I've been living as a woman for over two years now and it has been the most wonderful time of my life.  I transitioned at work, and similar to your story, was welcomed with very open arms, and lots of hugs. I am quite fortunate in that I easily pass as a woman and can speak in a feminine voice. This has definitely made my life into a dream come true!

Oh my!  You are going to have such amazing moments of glorious rapture, like nothing you've ever experienced! We look forward to hearing more of your beautiful adventure into womanhood!

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@nataliejane99)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member     Sunnyvale, California, United States of America
Posts: 354

@reallylauren Hi Lauren, thanks so much!

Embracing my whole self is quite amazing.  There have been highs and lows, of course, but simply having a baseline level of happiness is incredibly positive.

Hugs

-Natalie 

Reply

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