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Most of the time I am reasonably at ease with the fact that I am a crossdresser/transgender/dual gender... whatever the appropriate label is, but there are days when I wish I was just normal, gender-typical. Today is one of those days.
I have been at work (working at a remote exploration camp) for the past 4 weeks. In this situation I am not able to express myself as much as I would like. I do little things like sleeping in my night dress every night, I occasional braid my hair for the day and sometimes wear my pastel pink socks. I also under dress some of the time. All those little things help, but as time goes by I feel less and less balanced. At home this balance is restored by dressing for a day, but I can't do that at work. I start to resent the fact that I ever allowed this to be a part of my life. I also know that it is and there is nothing I can do about it, this leaves me feeling trapped by this peculiar aspect of my being. I have learned to deal with as I know it will pass, but the feeling is not pleasant at the time I am experiencing it.
I am sharing this as I am sure I am not the only one who has encountered this. I found it particularly distressing after I first accepted this part of me, but over the past year, as I have become more familiar with this feeling and the fact that it will pass, I am better able to deal with it.
Heading off to bed now and I will be putting on that night dress and trying to connect with my femme side.
I hope you sleep well Delora and I wish you a speedy return home where you are free and safe. Best wishes, Rei
A little scent of your favorite perfume on that night dress would help make the night seem a bit better, perhaps? One thing though Delora, imho the clothes don't make the woman, you do. 😊
P.S. - but do hurry home soon!
Stevie
Oh, DeLora, I do understand. I'm retired now and adult kids are many states away, but while I was working and they were home, there would be days and days where I couldn't even dream of dressing, and it was those times I thought more about purging and (try) putting an end to it all. Of course, the urges/desires never left and now I can enjoy it a little more, and I've reached an age (not a year) where I can say, hey, this is who I am, I haven't changed, and I doubt I ever will, so just do what I can when I can. Now days, I just wish I was younger so I'd have more time.
DeLora
so agree with Stevie, a spritz of perfume before bed, wonderful.......
and forget the stupid labels......just wear the badge " DeLora rules ok"
best wishes, grace x
Delora,
i hope you slept well and be happy seems you are coping with it pretty well and you will be home before you know and and all will be right in the world. As Stevie said it is not the clothes that make you feminine but how you feel inside. Sending good thoughts love and happiness from all your sisters!
hugs and kisses,
suzette
Hear ya here, Chloe C. same boat.
