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And it is release and relief all in one!
So, to backtrack, several weeks ago, I told my wife about my crossdressing and she has accepted it with no conditions as she wants for me to be happy in whatever form that should (which is why we have been married for more than 31 years). As I noted in my bio, however, my wife and I currently live on different sides of the Atlantic as she works in The Netherlands. Since telling her, I have felt a need to tell and show someone else but as I live alone and do not have many friends in my area outside of those with whom I work, my ability to do so has been limited. I would show my wife but my approach with her has been such to take this one step at a time so that she is comfortable with it.
Our niece, "Autumn" (from my wife's sister) has identified herself as a lesbian for more than a decade and came out when she was pre-teen (she's now 21). I felt that next to my wife, there is no one else I personally know that I could trust and in whom I could confide about my crossdressing than Autumn. Autumn finished her university studies last summer and is soon to be moving to Northern Virginia to take a new job. As she is leaving for the new place at the end of January, I contacted her for a video chat about her new employment and also, to let her know of my crossdressing.
Autumn was so accepting of what I told her and as she has experienced many of the same feelings that I am now experiencing, she fully understood what I feel and why, and the challenges and difficulties of it all. After our video chat, I sent her a picture of me in my "work-at-home" outfit from this past Friday, which was a black turtleneck, a gray straight skirt, and Jessica Simpson Tulip boots. She loved the outfit and even agreed that I can rock out a great skirt when I can find one that fits. As Autumn has been a member of the LBGTQ+ community for quite some time, she was well versed in helping find a term that seems to fit me well - "Genderfluid." Although I generally do not like labeling anyone as I was label "slow" as a child and such negative labels can be harmful. Sometimes, however, labels can be positive and well intended. To me Genderfluid seems to be rather fitting.
Anyways, I feel that so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders because someone else that cares about me and about whom I care now knows. We are planning to have dinner together in Chicago this weekend so that I can be fully "out" in my non-drab clothing. I am so excited and nervous at the same time but I know Autumn will be completely cool with it.
Time for bed - I am writing this when I should be getting ready for bed but I am far too relieved and excited to fall asleep. I feel like a child on Christmas Eve!
Gg.
@keetii Congratulations! It is so beneficial to have someone who is an ally. The fact that she is so encouraging and willing to go out with you is a real plus too. When I went out for the first time, I did it alone and it only made the process scarier. Having an all like Autum by your side will help to make it a wonderful experience.
@keetii I have only confided in my therapist, but it was so good to know that someone else other than my wife knew and accepts me. Just wish I could be out to more non CDs
@keetii Labels .!!. such an important word fits into so.many of the problems with the world today. my buddy used to always say if everyone was perfect like me life would be very boring wish more people though that way. Thanks for the conversation Cheers RC.
Its such a relief to have someone else to know about ones crossdressing, I clearly remember the first time I told someone else about my crossdressing, it was a Wonderfull feeling to not be alone anymore.
When I came out to my best friend recently it was completely cathartic, one of the best conversations I've ever had, and I'm still really only just getting started with CD life. I can only imagine what it would feel like had I been fully in the closet for many years. So pleased for you! 🤗
Fiona xxx
Very happy for you, GG. After telling my wife, the next person I told was a longtime female friend (also a lesbian). I remember what a great sense of relief it was to be able to share the facts of myself with her! And her unqualified acceptance of me is a great joy. She a mutual friend with my oldest and dearest male friend, and despite her insistence that he'll be supportive, I still can't do it. In fact, I struggle to come out to ANY of my male friends. Understanding why is definitely a growth area...
@justnikki You're not alone in this 🙂
I've come out to two people so far ... my Mum and one of my sisters. The very few other people I've contemplated revealing Ellie to are all female as well.
Like you, I may need to direct more than a little thought to why that might be ... although as I've mentioned before on the forums, it may simply be due to the fact that the majority of my friends are women 🙂
@ellyd22 As the poster child for introversion, my friend circle is small but intimate. I have a scant handful of close friends, most of whom go back 30-40 years. All but one live far away, and there's little need or desire to come out to them. I have one close male friend locally who I see regularly. He would not be ok with Nikki (a sentiment that multiple people have agreed with based on some borderline comments he's made in the past). The fact is, I just feel emotionally safer with women. Still... I know I need to tell my best and oldest friend, I just haven't got there yet.
I know how you are feeling. While my dressing is mostly " need to know", there are a couple people who know and it has helped me accept this side of me by doing so. One is my cousin who does not need to know, but with whom I have always had a special bond. She was and is super accepting about it and was very curious and asked many questions when I told her. Doing so just made me feel so good, so I encourage those in doubt to open up to a few, special.people. It has it's own rewards.
I’ve been coming out gradually over the past year. My partner was accepting and encouraging. I’ve come out to some friends and several in my community. As my clothes are androgynous and mostly female, many were not surprised. I was delighted to come out to my daughter who was unsurprised and fully accepting.
Coming out helped me accept myself for who i am. There is always some risk and potential awkwardness involved but in the end it’s worth it. My advice would be to start by coming out to those who you feel would be most accepting. Of course it’s important to make sure that your loved ones know. They might feel blind sided if you told everyone but them!
I identify as gender fluid and two spirit
Lea
I recently came out to another lady at my former place of employment.That makes two very powerful ladies,as an aside,I recently retired from the same place.Neither of them has ever seen me as Michelle.We met at a local restaurant,with me as Michelle,and we all had a very fun time.The usual questions were asked first and then the more pointed questions came later ,with no problem at all.We had a very good time and will probably do it again.A great time was had by all,with nary a sideways glance from anybody.
