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I saw a comment on Twitter that really resonated with me.
"Trans women are to women what adopted parents are to parents. You don't need a biological link to fulfil a role or have that role recognized and respected." Credit to @precarious_girl for that.
Transphobes love to throw the line trans women are not real women prompting us to reply trans women are women. The argument is circular. It doesn't help that I often question myself how can I call myself a woman when I have the body of a man. It causes me so much emotional distress. But thinking of myself almost as a step woman, not biological but no less feminine changes how I feel about myself.
Does this make sense? Or am I just over thinking things? Maybe in time I'll grow to the point I don't need such logic to accept myself for who I am. But as it is I only recognized myself as a trans woman a year ago next month. I'm still very new to all this.
I agree with Gen, what you perceive yourself as, is what you are. If you transition completely to woman biologically you are still a male, if you crossdress your simply a male who enjoys being feminine. One can't remove the biological tag, but how we choose to live, be it in male or female mode is our prerogative.
Absolutely, Gen. It's the sex vs gender thing, again. Somewhere, I read it stated in another way: Sex is who you go to bed with; gender is who you go to bed as. Not 100% applicable, but close.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Thank you, for your post, Diana.
I agree with the other girls, you are as you feel. My body, and therefore my sex, may be male, but I feel as female as any GG out there, so, I am, she.
Hugs,Regi👸💕
If the labels help you identify yourself to yourself, then they're useful. If they're used to explain to others they may be useful, as long as you all agree on the definitions (sometimes difficult). What matters is that you find a path that allows you to be you in your own skin as often as you can, if not full time. I'm me. You're you. I'm good with that.
Bridgette
"Step woman". I kinda like that.
In the online groups I have participated in over the past, I almost always refer to myself as femme instead of feminine in the public areas of those sites. I choose femme because I am not a female, physically or genetically, I do see and feel that I am mentally and emotionally a woman.
In private conversations though, I feel that my real self is female and the folks involved in those private conversations know how I wish to be treated and addressed. I know that soon, I will be seen and recognized as a woman, and that time is now on countdown
Did I confuse everyone?
PaulaF
I like the term "Step Woman", It would make sense in my view of the reality that I live in.
FWIW, IMHO, clothes have no gender.
In order to live full time as Danielle, still unable to fully understand or explain to others why I want to be, I had to put in my mind the notion that I am just Danielle, warts and all. I have modified my appearance to present myself in the image of a woman, but I don't try to convince myself I am a "woman" in the simplest definition, because I lack the essential body parts, biological function and natural characteristics that women have. I don't have the time or energy to argue if I am some "type" of woman. I am Danielle. Accept me as I am or not, I choose to be Danielle.
Thank you Lisa. This is the message I needed to see. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully transition. I need to stop worrying about labels and just focus on being me. I call myself BecomingDiana on other social media accounts because I've only been trans for 11 months and in many ways I'm still figuring myself out and who exactly I am. I think it'll take a few years before I can truly understand my true self.
Agreed.
And Diana, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you feel feminine, then that's who/how you are. Acceptance, or lack of acceptance, from anyone other than yourself does not change who you are. Just be yourself, if you feel you are a woman, then you are a woman. Your identity is valid!
Birel
