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Last Thursday I dressed up for a meet up with a friend. Who was a no show. I returned home and decided since I'm dressed enfem I'm going to run some errands. I was wearing my pink and white striped dress with black fashioned thigh high stockings. Black 4 inch block heels.
I first headed to the water department drive thru. Then to the Verizon store. Went in and was greeted by a cis women employee. Paid my bill at their kiosk. From there I drove to the cable company. Went in and was asked if I there to pay my bill. I answer yes. Payed it at their kiosk. So far so good. I then drove to Target. Went in and was greeted by a cis women employee. Did some shopping and went to the self check out. From there I went home for lunch.
Towards evening I went to the local CVS. I found what I was looking for and went to check out. The mature lady thought I was returning the item. I said no I'm buying it. She had confused the coupons in my hand for a reciet. She said it has been a long day. I said I understood. Went home from there.
About 10:30 pm I went to the drive thru car wash. Then stopped at Buccees for gas. Buccees is huge 110 fuel pumps and a really big store. After refueling I went into the store to use the ladies room. Another huge area. I went into a cubicle faced the correct way. ( Towards the door) did my business and the accompanying paperwork. Made sure to grab my hand bag and went out to wash my hands. As I was leaving the sink area and young women smiled at me. I returned the smile. I headed home with a new found confidence!
Next trip dressed is to the mall!
Stay tuned!
Fran 🥰
Normal, just as things should be, although I hope your friend apologizes for standing you up.
Then stopped at Buccees for gas. Buccees is huge 110 fuel pumps and a really big store.
I would like to see a Buccees someday. They are so big that they probably can been seen from space, though.
@gafran If anything this experience tells us that no one is really paying attention to us the way we imagine they are. Which is definitely a good thing if you’re going out into the public realm.
At breakfast with a very traditional male friend recently we had a waitress who was definitely cross/trans-something. My friend says, “This chick’s an idiot!” I said, you do know that ‘s a man, right? He said, “No, I didn’t know…really?…well, I don’t care what she is, she messed up my order!” (She came and made it right and we left happy.)
As we drove back to our hood, he never said another word about her or our dining experience. We moved on to more important topics. So it probably is true that when we’re out and about - nobody’s really looking at us or cares all that much.
I do though.😊
GP
@gafran If anything this experience tells us that no one is really paying attention to us the way we imagine they are. Which is definitely a good thing if you’re going out into the public realm.
...
So it probably is true that when we’re out and about - nobody’s really looking at us or cares all that much.
I wish that was the case more than it actually is. In general, though, this is true. Most people are oblivious to their surroundings, let alone passing individuals who might be beyond the norm. But there are many times when I catch people looking inquisitively at my clothes and face when I don't dress en femme in public.
Yesterday, while walking on a sidewalk, for example, a middle aged woman noticed my women's clothes then wouldn't take her eyes off of my face. She had put two and two together and found five of something. On the same walk, a younger woman kept staring at the small bumps on my chest. While I try my best to not stand out in public (I don't hide), somehow I failed that day. I wasn't being blatant with my fashion at all, or at least that was what I thought while standing in front of the mirror.
This is not typical behavior of most females around a typical male in public. They purposely avoid eye contact with males more often than not. Matrons people-watching while resting in malls and young children have eagle-eyes, too.
So while the number of people who don't clock us is high, the number who do clock us isn't exactly zero, either. 😉
@harriette Exactly why crossdressing is never going to become a mainstream thing Harriette. Also why Grace would never be making the rounds outside like that even if she could. For starters, I DO notice all the little details. I’d see people giving me second looks, checking me out, clocking me. That makes me uncomfortable. So why would I do it? To go to Buc-ees and buy some jerky? (BTW, I love Buc-eyes🥰) I’m happy for Fran that she had a good day out. I know a lot of girls just want to go wherever they want dressed en femme - whenever they want. It doesn’t bother them. They are free’er spirits than I. Braver too.
GP
I hear the Buccees Brisket is to die for. I still would like to go out and share the experience with others. Weather cis or like us. That really makes it more enjoyable. 🥰
@gafran All the food is great at Buc-ees. But it’s the restrooms that are the show-stoppers. Best public ones I’ve ever used anywhere.
@gracepal Well, depending on your style of crossdressing, you can normally fly under most people's radar. After a while, getting noticed is just part of the deal. No harm done other than to remind us that, if we meant to go unnoticed, then we just have to do better next time.
There are things that can be done to relax and take being out in public as normal, but it does take time and effort. We just have to be willing to practice. It does get better.
This topic is worthy of a good, thorough Article.
@harriette Every time I think I want to practice “flying under the radar” looks Harriette, I bump into a new babydoll mini dress that I just have to have, knowwhattImean???😆
@gracepal Well, if you want to wear baby-doll minidresses in public, then you also have to understand what comes with doing that.
@harriette I’m trying to imagine a scenario where I wear baby-doll minidresses in public Harriette. I cannot come up with any whatsoever, which is very unlike me. I did have a fit of uproarious laughter imagining it though…LOL!!!🤣
I've had that being stared at with Lazer precision, through the backbone before. It's unnerving, but I just smile and keep on moving. They're the rude and crude ones! 🥰
@gafran Don’t be too quick to judge Fran. After all, we cannot read minds. Maybe they’re staring, thinking, damn, I wish I had the courage to start wearing women’s clothes…🤣
A distinct possibility!
Or like I've said to friends jokingly. That I'd look better in that dress than she did. But I really wasn't joking! Lol 🥰
@gafran I think the same thing WAY more often than I should in these modern, fashion-challenged times🥰
@gafran Congrats on your day out! I think that if you radiate confidence, people tend to not look twice. If you act like you're doing something wrong, you just attract attention.
@gafran Sorry that your friend didn't show, but way to go Fran! All that interaction with people 🙂 It's always nice dealing with shop assistants, even if they're being paid to be nice to you, but the best bit for me was the girl in the Ladies at the end. When you're accepted as who you want to be by other members of the public, it's really validating. I look forward to reading about what happened when Fran hit the mall!
Fiona xxx
@finallyfiona Ok Fiona, your reply made me think of something else here. Yes, it’s validating to be accepted as who you are by other members of the public at large. I’ve done it for some fellow sisters myself. I would enjoy it when it’s done for me, say at Keystone next year. But I’m not accepting them for “who they are.” I’m accepting them for “who they are portraying.” Maybe that’s the same thing at that moment…? I know they’re not real girls - but I’m willing to go along. As we all do here on CDH. I see this as the unspoken reality we’re escaping from as we enter the “Pink Fog”.
No matter how you slice it, it’s “girl” with an asterisk is it not?Just like to keep it real.
GP
@gracepal I think we're on the same page here. My exact words were "accepted as who you want to be", which I think is pretty much the same meaning as "who you're portraying".
I hope you have a lovely time at Keystone next year! I'd love to attend something like that one day 🙂 Though if I may say so, in any space with a gathering of our sisters, like you suggest, I'd be accepting that "who they are" and "who they're portraying" were the same thing.
I'm sure that, maybe reluctantly, many who consider themselves crossdressers might agree with you about the escapism of the Pink Fog. But they're not all of the audience, either at Keystone or here on CDH. It could be quite invalidating to those transgender girls who see themselves as women in the wrong bodies, if you didn't clarify that your thoughts weren't also to be applied to them.
Fiona xxx
I hear you my dear,
It's hard enough to explain ourselves. Especially to those who snap judge us.
I'm a live and let live girl. I really try to understand others.
I hope you can someday attend one of these amazing events. I would love to travel across the pond to the UK. It's been years since I traveled to Europe. I spent time in Germany with my sister and her first husband. He was station there with the US Army.
XXXX Fran 🥰
@finallyfiona I appreciate that point of view as I’ve never thought of that. I do know there are many different perspectives - as well as lifestyles involved here. Crossdressers are only one of the many flavors 🥰
GP
@gafran I know it's off-topic, but what's a "water department drive thru"?
I was never to America myself and all those car-centered things are fascinating to me.
It's like going to a fast food restaurant or a bank.
You drive near the building and there's a window where you pay your bill as you drive thru.
Sorry for the confusion. 🥰
@gafran Thanks for explaining.
I am fascinated by how this car thing is out of control in the US. I pay my bills online 🙂
(also, you have DRIVE THROUGH BANKS? O_o )
Yes,
Also pharmacy's and just about anything legal that can be available to drive through.
🥰
@gafran I wonder how bank robbery via drive-through looks like, somehow they never show that in the movies. 🙂
I have to say, I recently watched some documentaries about how car-dependent America is (nothing about drive-through pharmacies there tho!) and now I understand more why American crossdressers always talk about "going to the mall". If you need a car to go everywhere and if everything is drive-through, then I guess that's one of the few places you can go to just walk amongst the people...
Thanks for the interesting off-topic, and I wish you more enjoyable days like today (without the need of being stood up first) 😉
As far as drive up robberies go. I'm sure it's been tired. But there are cameras, cameras everywhere.
We have outside malls. Enter like any other business.
Inside malls Enter into an enclosed building first then the business. All Inside a large building. 🥰
@gafran I just spoke about this with a friend of mine who used to live in the US for some time.
He told me "yeah, they have open-air malls. It looks like a normal street with shops, where you can walk around on pedestrianized street, sit at the kerbside cafe or enter to shop on one side of the street and then go across to another one.
It's basically a place where Americans drive to in order to cosplay as Europeans 😉
I find it quite fascinating 😉
Remember America is the melting pot of cultures. So why not ideas and places? Like taking a little bit of home with you. 🥰
Let's just say you spent the day dressed. Fran's day. Living your life the way you want....or should. Congratulations!
/LK
It gets better ever time !!
I'm inspired by your many adventures enfem. You are certainly the Queen of Travels. 🥰
@gafran you know Fran, tbh I really quit being bothered by the anxiety over dressing. I. Finally realized that I’m at home when en femme. My persona just shows someone who has always been this way because I have. I just didn’t let it out for so many decades.
Sorry you were stood up but it looks like you had a great day as Fran. Wish I could dress for thirteen hours straight.
Alexandria
XX
Congratulations on the fun day Fran. Marg
Sometimes you just got to let the girl out! Hooray for Girl Power! 🥰
I'm still trying to get my head around the idea of a petrol station with 110 pumps. lol
Buccees is a Texas based company. A Texas saying is "Everything is Big in Texas!" They certainly live up to that! 🥰
