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There are ways we can be femme without the main stream knowing we are femme. I like to call that stealth mode. The wearing of panties under male cloths, leggings under male cloths in winter ect. What do you do to be "stealth"?
@christin73 I’m always in stealth mode
1. panties worn daily
2. toe nails always painted
3. Always 🪒
@christin73 I wear panties most days, have toenails painted, use feminine shower gel and deodorant every day
Anna x
@christin73 Hi! Christina. I wear clothes from the ladies side of the store for stealth mode. Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda jeans (good pockets which is rare), check shirts that button up the female way, androgynous shoes or sneakers, camisole, panties always, small earrings. When it is cold I wear leggings when walking for exercise. My shorts for when it is warmer are female. Best, Marlene.
@christin73 For many of us underdressing with panties, hose and maybe a camisole instead of a t-shirt in colder weather is the way we go.
For a year before I went 'full Cassie ' I went to my Church wearing black pants and blazer and a light color blouse. This combination looked close to a men's suit. Of course the black flats might have been to far.
Cassie
Hi
With my wife checking all , it is hard but, she is very innocent in some way, so last time I purchased a unisex tennis shoes and she started to use , then she got bored to use it and now I'm use it , the same with the shorts , I use their short in the house, and she didn't aware that are for woman , obviously I don't use as it should use when I'm in femme mode ,but that is enough for me, and some day I wear panties, but when I take my shower I wash at hand and put to dry behind the water cooler, and she didn't notice it.!!!
How about fingernails - try growing them out to a length you're comfortable with and keep them manicured. Paint them with clear nail hardener - gloss or matt , up to you.
@emmat For me, this is so hard to do.
The two strongest nails, thumbnails, aren't too bad (have a chip in one now), but it's the rest of them that just don't last. I am ready to give up on trying.
It's not easy, for sure, to keep a balanced set - I never seem to. Start small and see how it goes. Do you use a nail strengthener?
Do you use a nail strengthener?
Not so far. I have some, I just haven't gotten around to using it. Does it work? How long before you can notice?
It's not a magic solution, by any means. But maybe try a bottle ? - I've sent you a link, but other brands are available. I put 2 / 3 coats on, and add another from time to time, before I remove it to give the nails a rest / and or play with more colourful varnish.
@christin73 Hi Christina, my life outside the home is all stealth mode. My entire wardrobe from the waist down is all ladies clothing. Jeans, shorts, slacks, shoes, sandals, and panties. I've also found depending how the sleeves are cut, I can also wear a variety of women's athletic tops like adidas, reebok, under armour and similar without anyone being the wiser. And of course jewelry necklaces and bracelets. I like to think I present as a stylish athletically fit guy. With a secret of course. Years of weight training have made my shoulders, chest and upper arms a bit too large to fit into most ladies tops with the exception of the short sleeve athletic tops like the ones I mentioned above. The women's loafers, sandals and sneakers I wear are very unisex looking. Ive never as far as I know, gotten odd looks from others relating to my style of dress. On the contrary I've gotten quite a few second hand compliments from my wife's friends who have told her on occasion that they really like the way I dress and they wish their husbands would update their baggy frumpy clothes to something a bit more stylish. As a matter of fact, we were on a cruise not too long ago and a woman who my wife just happened to be speaking to mentioned something to that effect after I had left to get my wife a drink from the bar. In stealth mode I don't act feminine and I believe people look and make mental judgements based on an overall picture in their mind's eye. Although when I walk, my wife has from day one, said my tush bounces/sways like a women's tush. But that's a story for another day.
@christin73 I am in stealth mode most days as I always wear panties and each morning a few hours in a bra. I often wear a bralette or cami as well.
Winter means wearing a cami, leggings too
@christin73 Like most , panties everyday and a bralette. Camisole and pantyhose in the cooler weather under my clothes. At times while still presenting as a man I’ll wear my woman’s jeans and a top, light makeup and a slash of perfume. Toenails always painted and a clear coat on my hands.
@christin73 Stealth, for me, is my panties and camisole, which I just started wearing for the fall with cooler weather.
@christin73 I have integrated a lot of feminine clothes into my daily wardrobe which helps me to be connected to Lauren even when in drab. I also stay connected through a feminine self care routine including shaving and skin care. Fortunately, I am able to express myself as Lauren more and more in life so stealth mode is starting to diminish for me.
@christin73 There is a bra type that doesn't show under snug tops that I just got.
It is made out of 75% nylon and 25% spandex. It is so thin that one would have to look very, very closely to be able to see the outline.
I haven't tried using forms with it yet (small ones might work), but with its fiber liners, it should work well with moobs.
@christin73 this is an awesome thread. Thanks to OP and all those who followed up. I am visually impaired, and I dressed under for a few years before I finally came out to wife. That was necessary to move it forward. Now, I want to take it outside the home as well. There is so much to learn and not being able to see what's what is making this way more of a challenge. Again, thanks for all the ideas.
@christin73 I dress female more and more now and have a mostly feminine self care routine so I'm sure that it shows through. I keep my legs shaved all the time, have my eyebrows in a more feminine arched shape and wear panties and a camisole or bralette most days now. Some days, I even wear light makeup including clear mascara light eyeshadow and tinted lip balm. I am really looking forward to the day when I can go full time and just be my authentic female self all of the time!
@christin73 hi christin l wear panties under my clothes. I wear sheer pantihose and sometimes a bra under my shirt. I also wear a kilt, the pantihose can't be seen as they are so sheer that you can't notice them.
I stealth dress frequently and underdress everyday.
My job allows me to dress casual. This time of year I will stealth dress with woman’s cargo and Bermuda shorts and a woman's T or polo shirt, with panties and girly socks (hidden in my work boots.
In winter or cooler months I will wear girl jeans and long sleeve T’s along with a sweatshirt and a bra or bralette. I enjoy how it makes me feel and it being my little secret. I was worried at first that someone would notice. There are noticeable differences in the girl clothes but someone would really have to look and nobody seems too.
💋💋💋
I call it hiding in plain view. When not fully dressed in public, I will wear six rings on five fingers, nails painted, earrings, perfume, some sort of necklace (sometimes even a pearl one) and girly socks. The only actual 'stealth' I use is the wearing of ladies brightly-coloured panties, albeit somewhat unisex in design.
You'd think the above 'plain sight' mode might cause comments, but I have had nothing said directly—even from acquaintances—no overheard comments and no strange looks (as far as I know). Perhaps it's just the way it is in the UK, but in general, people just don't bother about it.
Stealth for me,
- Panties every day
- complete body shave daily
- women's deodorant
- women's socks
- women's sandals in summer (somewhat androgynous ones.)
- sometimes a bra, or bralette in the cooler months, bulkier clothes hiding the straps
- pantyhose, or thigh high stockings (hold ups) under long pants, again during cool weather.
- Toenails painted as often as possible, they need breaks, otherwise they get damaged. I wish they could be painted all the time!
- Androgynous earrings to be added soon!
@secretpassions Hi, Lara. There are nail polishes that are breathable and you can stay painted for an extended time; that is what I use though my nails are not always painted. But you are correct about needing a breather if you use regular polish; my nails discolored when I used regular polish and left it on. Best, Marlene.
I remember my first times doing that - cincher and gartered stockings. Feeling certain everyone would be able to tell.
Looks funny now in the rear view mirror. 😀
These days if I go out it's dolled entirely or not at all...though most of my underwear is either women's or very feminine, but that seems small potatoes at this stage in my journey.
It's become so common for me I don't even think about it -
1- earrings 24/7, mostly studs or small hoops although I have worn small dangling earrings out on occasion
2- fingernails have clear gel polish and toes are painted in different colors depending on the time of year (just got them done the other day in a fall tan color - Christmas time is red and a design for holidays)
3- bracelets all the time - mostly bead and leather
4- occasionally underdress in panties
5- knee high nylons when wearing ankle boots
XOXO
Suzanne
knickers and bra always, my nails are pained a light pink, women's jeans and as I have just had my ears pierced I have the studs in but will replace with earrings. Also a neutral lipstick and black mascara. Got a few funny looks but being UK no-one has commented.
Rxx
Interesting post Christina. I'm going to go against the general flow of this topic. I'm an all or nothing girl. Stealth mode or underdressing would do nothing for me. Which is a shame really as the all option is not currently an option 😂.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Stealth mode just didn't occur to me until I joined CDH. Now it's a daily occurrence for me.
Anna x
@chrisfp99 I'm with you Chrissie! But I do understand the appeal for some. I want to look and feel like a woman. I don't feel that way wearing panties under my everyday guy jeans. Just the way I'm wired.
Robyn
I like calling it dressing androgynously because it more accurately describes what I am doing (illusion and camouflage). Now that I have bought appropriate women's clothing for dressing like this for more than one year, I can do this all day, every day, so I don't really do modes unless around family.
I am willing to be practical, too. I recently found a nice men's linen/cotten blend shirt in a reasonable pink on sale that is very useful because the pink still gives the illusion of being feminine. (Linen stuff needs ironing, though.)
Accessories and make-up aside, I do get some inquisitive looks, but with a moustache, short hair, bra and hip pads, & without a wig, lipstick or nail polish, heels or purse, at least I make them question themselves about what they just saw. That's OK with me.
Recently, I was described by another CD as being in "boy mode", until I stood up and showed her my lower half (above the knee pencil skirt, patterned black stockings, high heels, pic in profile), so if I could confuse her, then I must be doing it right. 🎉
While not always stealthy, I do many things that are not obvious unless one is paying attention. So the usual underdressing, panties always, btas, stockings, etc as I feel like it, but I also wear nearly neutral lipstick and a very light pink nail polish. I wear shorts 99% of the time with hairless legs, and hairless everywhere but head and groin. If I wear jeans, the are ladies Levi's which are wonderfully comfy jeans.
I wear panties (often thongs) every day, but have to supplient them with boxer briefs when I get waxed.
I get most of my body waxed below the neck. I don't do the armpits (I shave them), and don't do under the boxer briefs.
Most of the year I'm wearing women's jeans, a woman's tee shirt, women's low rise socks, and women's flats (or occasionally boots if really bad weather). In the colder months I'll wear opaque tights instead of socks. Often I'm wearing a unisex looking women's pair of shorts for gym. I've also been known to wear a woman's cardigan or jeans jacket.
I had my ears pierced almost two years ago and now wear a small white gold hoop most of the time.
My hair has been long for ages, although I lost some length last year to illness. And I usually keep my fingernails a bit longer than most men.
Definitely only thongs or gstring asked my SO about wearing a pair of torrid boot cut jeans out with my cowboy boots she absolutely said NO women boot cut are more like flare jeans and everyone would know
This is an interesting thread. Another example of the wide variety of flavors we have here on CDH. I’ve been an “underdresser” or “stealth-moder” gal most of my life since I started in this business🥰. Mainly to be allegiant to the cause. It just wasn’t feasible for me to be fully decked out very often. So I took what I could get.
Recently before Grace reemerged my wife had bought me some new men’s shorts. One pair was beige with palm trees on it and the other were pink. I said - “Pink shorts for me?” Her reply was they’re not pink, they’re dusty coral. Regardless both pairs of “men’s shorts” were girly.
Shortly after that Grace was compelled to reemerge big time. I mean heck, if the men’s stuff is going to look like the women’s stuff then I would prefer the women’s stuff! I have no problems admitting that.
And may I just vent a little and say I cannot stand the thong panties look on any human being who puts them on. If I’m wearing panties then I want my money’s worth in terms of material! Not to mention how uncomfortable that little string of floss feels on your backside. Yeeech! Ok, I’m done now, thank you girls.🥰
GP
@gracepal Hey Grace, I'm definitely with you on the thong thing. Tried it once. Never again! xx.
@gracepal I recently bought a gorgeous, blue babydoll nightie which came with a thong. The thong was impossibly tiny and went in the bin.
Anna x
And may I just vent a little and say I cannot stand the thong panties look on any human being who puts them on. If I’m wearing panties then I want my money’s worth in terms of material! Not to mention how uncomfortable that little string of floss feels on your backside. Yeeech!
Tiny thongs don't make a lot of sense when trying to control loose, dangly bits.
In the interest providing providing representation for all opinions, and in the best good humor and respect for all my sisters here, i want to say here that I love thongs!
Well there is nothing like hiding in plain sight. Lets see...
- About as hairless as I can get.
- Women's deodorant
- Eyebrows waxed and shaped
- longer than average finger nails
- Nail polish. Clear on fingers and a color on toes
- BB cream for makeup
- Can't forget panties
- Women's sneakers
- pantyhose under my jeans
- I have long hair which I keep in a ponytail
- Women's jeans or Carhartts
- Sometimes women's button down man styled shirts
- Sometimes a bra or a cami
- curled eyelashes
@btwimrobin Re: women's deodorant
Years ago, I started using potassium crystal deodorants. It is a salt that kills bacteria. No residue to mess up our beautiful clothes. It won't stop you perspiring, though, but with no armpit hair, it lasts well.
Crystal in pop culture: check out J-Lo's Enough. It is at least as good of a story as Julia Robert's Sleeping With The Enemy.
I’m in stealth mode 100% of the time, except for my pretty toes, which I occasionally display in sandals in the summer.
Daytime (until bedtime):
- Panties all day, every day. Thongs 99% of the time, briefs or boyshorts when, for example, I go on “guy trips” with friends.
- Toe rings on two toes on left foot and two toes on right foot. I never take them off.
- Toe nail polish. I plan to never have plain toe nails again.
Sleep Time:
- All male and boring: Currently just an oversize men’s long or short sleeve tee shirt or men’s night shirt.
- Starting to experiment with sleeping in a bra, and some sort of panties. I want to have something feminine on me 24/7
…and continuing on above, Future:
Daytime:
- Same as above, plus…
Pierced ears, gender-neutral earrings 24/7 - Breast enhancers and bra, as close to 24/7 as possible. (just to add a little, subtle boob. Intent is to not be noticeable unless you really inspect me)
- Occasionally, at home, and rarely, just for fun, at at some public place where nobody knows me, just to mess with people’s heads: Breast forms and bra, under men’s clothes.
Sleep Time
- Bra and breast forms as often as possible. Breast enhancers at other times.
- Panties
- Undecided about top layer. Not really interested in nightgowns. To be determined.
…and continuing on above, Future:
Daytime:
- Breast enhancers and bra, as close to 24/7 as possible. (just to add a little, subtle boob. Intent is to not be noticeable unless you really inspect me)
- Occasionally, at home, and rarely, just for fun, at at some public place where nobody knows me, just to mess with people’s heads: Breast forms and bra, under men’s clothes.
Good for you! I don't do this 24/7, but as much as reasonable. As much as I can at home when my neighbours can't see me, and when I won't annoy my wife.
Last night, for example, not only did I test run my largest forms and new bra for them, but I slipped on my low-heeled open-top, pointed toe pumps and stayed in them in sparse crowds for a few hours. These forms are C sized, so it takes a lot to hide them. They stand really proud! A bunch of women sat right right next to me and I don't think any of them noticed, even though I took off my coat, to cool off.
A man stared at my face in a small fast food restaurant, but he didn't stare at my chest. Not sure why.
