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Strange conversation or missed opportunity?

17 Posts
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Posts: 129
Lady
Topic starter
(@andidb)
Estimable Member     Cumbria, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

My SO, who doesn't know about my dressing, received a dress by mail order yesterday from her favourite brand. When she tried it on, she wasn't convinced it looked right and was dithering about whether to keep it.

I suggested to her to remove the fabric belt which was made of the same material as the dress and to replace it with a much simpler regular black belt. SO thinks it looks amazing and now loves the dress.

Fast forward to yesterday evening and we sit down after dinner.  The conversation starts with the most ominous 6 words ever put together "I need to ask you something".  There were in fact two questions that got asked...

The first was "what do you know about women's clothes that you haven't told me?" followed quickly by the second which was "are you weird?".

There may be many reasons that the answer to the second question is "yes" but I don't think the dressing is one of them. Given that the second question was asked, I'm not sure that the answer to the first would be well received.

Maybe one day...

-A.

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16 Replies
Posts: 853
(@trishl989)
Prominent Member     Bury, GreaterManchester, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

I don't know how you answered the first question but I think you definitely dropped a clue. A good one I think as you are showing an advantage to having a cross dressing partner. From what you have said I don't think it would have been a good time for "The Conversation".

Love Trisha

Ps she seems very perceptive so I'd be careful what you say in the future.

 

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Posts: 129
Lady
Topic starter
(@andidb)
Estimable Member     Cumbria, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

The second question came so quickly after the first one that I didn't really need to answer it but I would probably just have gone with something like "just a hunch" or "I'm channelling my inner Gok".

The second question was answered the same way that it always is when someone asks which is "probably".

-A.

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Posts: 1262
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

Think I would have calmly asked her ‘what do you mean weird?’ Not getting into a conversation or argument, just to draw out her thoughts as she was obviously mulling it over. But weird is a word seldom used to mean in a good way so tread carefully.

As Trisha says she seems very perceptive.

❤️Bianca

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Andi the answer to the second question is no I'm not weird, we don't do weird on here, the answer to the first question is this I've been watching Gok on the TV and been picking up some tips,

As for the ultimate question is it time for that talk well only time will tell x

I've still not had the nerve to have that talk with my wife whether i will be able to is another thing altogether x

Hugs Rozalyne x

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Posts: 2110
Managing Ambassador
(@wanderer)
Noble Member     Stoney Creek , Ontario, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi Andi.  It sure is hard keeping those fashion comments to ones self, isn't it?  Especially when you are right!  Hmm, your SO seems somewhat perceptive, I just wish she hadn't added that second question so fast.  I would have answered the second question first with a simple no.  ( what's so weird about having a good fashion eye and knowing what looks good? )   And not answered the first question - at this time.  It would be nice to find out her thoughts regarding the whole LGBTetc. community;  information is always a good thing.  However Andi, the topic has now been broached, it does sound like this conversation may well come up again, and if she is suspicious it would be best to address it sooner rather than later.   Just my 2 cents hon.  🙂

Stevie

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Posts: 1781
Lady
(@ohlivialivin)
Noble Member     Norfolk, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Possibly a missed opportunity.

The answer to question 2 could have been, well I'm sure some people might think so, but....

She does seem perceptive, so the conversation is likely to happen. Sooner or later

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Posts: 1105
Lady
(@pimagirl)
Noble Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Andi,

Easy answer for me on question #1. I have always been engaged with women's shopping, that includes girlfriends and my loving and devoted wife of 33 years, Susan.

Diane

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Posts: 129
Lady
Topic starter
(@andidb)
Estimable Member     Cumbria, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Dressing is something that I have been doing on and off for 20+ years.

As with many people, there have been complete purges where everything has been gotten rid of and I have imposed a 24x7 male mode.  It never lasts and eventually dressing starts again.

At the point we met I was in one of those self-imposed exiles and so there wasn't anything to discuss at that time (at least that is what my 15 year ago brain thought). With today's more wisened head there are many things I would do differently!

-A.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Andi.

It seems to me that maybe she knows more than she is letting on.....

Just because you made a valid observation about a fashion style. Lots of men admire women's outfits, and can surely form and offer an opinion on how they could look nicer... that's something you should have been complimented on, not accused of.

To ask you if you were weird because of it....

even if you were wearing panties and a bra under your clothes, facing her and totally denying you were weird, that's also fine..........because crossdressing isn't weird....full stop.

Grace xx

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Andi your not weird  but that was the ideal opportunity to come out, best wishes Andi I hope you and your SO have a positive outcome from this.

Love Sarah xx

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Posts: 43
(@elizabethjenkins)
Eminent Member     Arlington, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

For me having my wife know I enjoyed wearing women's clothes and seeing me wear brassieres and panties was easy. I already knew she was okay with that but having 'the talk' and saying the actual words, 'I'm a cross-dresser'. That was the most difficult and embarrassing conversation I ever had but it worked out great.

Elizabeth

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Andi,
The answer I used in a similar situation was “everything I know about fashion, I learned from you”.
Seems to me that you missed an opportunity.
I understand that the question caught you unprepared and you weren’t ready for “The Talk”. So you live to talk another day.
Good Luck, it will all work out.

Hugs
Jillian

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Posts: 326
Lady
(@splitdecision)
Honorable Member     Doylestown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

There is no guarantee that it was a lost opportunity. It could’ve been a bad situation avoided. But my experience is that it will all come out eventually on purpose or by accident. If your honestly sure your wife or SO would not tolerate it then caution should be used.

when my ex wife and I were dating a friend of mine who played in a rock band confessed to me that his girlfriend, later wife enjoyed it when he wore her panties underneath while on stage. I was so envious. To gauge my wife’s feelings ( which I was already pretty sure of) I told her him. The look on her face alone told me the answer and she didn’t use the word weird she used sick.
One day about Eight years in she found two pairs of panties in the back pocket of my work pants.  She confronted me and accused me of cheating . I decided it was time to confess. Turns out she would’ve accepted cheating more than crossdressing. That was the start of a difficult 25 years that eventually led to divorce.
some here are super lucky to have accepting SO’s and it may be easy to say  confess but it’s not always that easy.       Good luck

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Wow Natalie, it took 25 years from finding the panties to the divorce. That must have been horrible for you.
Hugs
Jillian

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