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Somedays and at times i feel more feminine then others... like right now. I wanna dress up, act and be more feminine. I wanna be cute, I wanna feel sexy and desirable, I wanna smell lipstick and make up on me and feel silk and tight clothes... other days I all I feel is anger and a urgent need to kick ass. I constantly bounce back forth. Part of me says "fuck that" piss and shit, the other.... "Honey, do what makes you feel good and happy!" A year ago I thought I was transgender... but I let it go because I have a daughter, and she needs a father, a man to be there for her. I'm the only one. Some days all I want is to be Natilie, but I put the majority of her away most days... fear of family, friends, and most of all my babygirl. It's a battle I'm fighting, sometimes winning, most days losing.... sorry I had to get this off my chest. Thanks loves. <3
I feel the same way I feel like I can win some days. Some days it's all I want to do is let Elizabeth out but my fear and responsibilities get in my way. I want that desire that sexy feminine feeling but other days I don't so I completely understand your point.
I am in the same boat. The love we have for our children trumps all other considerations. Unfortunately I think society as a whole does not yet regard crossdressing as a "normal" activity readily accepted by children. I am sure there are enlightened exceptions to this, but meantime we carry on being a good role model, for fear of alienating, embarrassing, upsetting those dearest to us.
It is so hard, as is many other sacrifices we make for our kids, but her unconditional love is the reward for our sacrifices. As she grows you will have more Natalie time, and perhaps in time you will judge her mature enough to accept you for who you are, regardless of what you wear.
love
Bianca
Hi Natalie,
I understand where you're coming from, I too have children, quite grown up now, but still my children and still in need of a farther. I have often felt the need to dress but that is not possible for a great deal of the time, because I have a responsibility to my family, they must come first. However the crossdressing need is almost always there, it has been there for years, but I have learnt to appreciate the times I do get to dress irrespective of how short or few and far between they may be. It's not easy and yes, I do get depressed at times, but I have found when coming to terms with this thing, I have to appreciate the whole person I am, dressed or not. I know eventually my time will come, I don't know when, but I'm sure it will. And the same goes for you, your time will come, try to be patient, think positive and love the whole person you are.
