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Hello, my name is Alisha, and I am a part-time crossdresser. This aspect of my identity is deeply personal and important to me, but it comes with its own set of challenges, especially when living with a partner and having limited privacy. I'd like to share some of the struggles I face, which might resonate with others in similar situations.
1.
Lack of Privacy: One of the biggest challenges is finding the time and space to express myself freely. Without a private area, it becomes difficult to dress as I wish without interruptions or fear of being discovered. The constant need to hide my belongings takes an emotional toll. It's frustrating that I have to keep a significant part of myself secret, which leads to feeling isolated and deprived.
2.
Fear of Judgment: The fear of how my partner might react if they found out about my crossdressing can be overwhelming. This fear often leads to stress and anxiety, making it hard to relax and be myself.
3.
Limited Freedom: Living with a partner means I have to be mindful of their presence, which restricts my ability to dress as I want. This limitation can impact my sense of self and overall happiness.
4.
Emotional Strain: Constantly hiding a part of myself is emotionally exhausting. The need to keep this aspect of my identity a secret can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
5.
Communication Barriers*: Discussing my needs and desires with my partner is challenging. The fear of misunderstanding or rejection makes it hard to open up, leading to a lack of support and understanding.
6.
Balancing Roles: Balancing my crossdressing with other responsibilities and roles in my life is another struggle. It requires careful planning and often leads to feelings of frustration when I can't find the time to express myself.
7.
Social Stigma: Dealing with societal norms and potential stigma adds to the pressure. The fear of being judged by others can make it difficult to embrace this part of my identity openly.
I am starting to realize that having a place of my own, where I could freely express myself without fear or judgment, might be the best path forward. I thrive to find a place for myself, a sanctuary where I can truly be myself and find peace and happiness.
* I tried to test the water with my partner. But she seemed puzzled and uncomfortable, saying, "I don't really understand why someone would want to do that."
@oyered hi my Dear
I was reading all your summarize you did and I felt completely in sync with your situation.
In my case I had to tell my wife my story about crossdressing in our honeymoon, and she didnt get angry, but in some way she accepted me but she doesn't like at all the idea of see me crossdressing, and she expect I don't do anymore.
As you way be thinking, I am still an active crossdresser, with the same limitations you have, I don't have a sanctuary and also I have to be avoiding be caught not just for my wife, also my daughter lives with us and she has 19 years old.
And ,like you said, it is stresseing and exhausting.
I don't have the solvency to buy anything ,so I have to use the old dresses my wife don't use and/or the actual cloth she use , but before to be washed, also she used to sells cosmetics and she has some of them she never sold, and I took from there what I use.
The only thing I probably I have as a sanctuary is when I travel to overseas, I take some outfits and during my travel I can use in the Hotel with no restriction.
This trips normally last 2-3 weeks in a foreign country, it is the most similar to paradise!!
To finalize, I would tell you if you can get a place to be free and crossdress with no problem, try to get it. I would do it!!!
You unloaded a big pile of concerns, Alisha.
Most of us can completely relate to some if not all 7 of you list. I'm fortunate to be single again. My big concern is what others may say or do. I recently came out to my GG friend of many years. She's totally on board! What a gal. She gives me tips on jewelry, makeup, nails, fashion. She teaches skin care at a school for preparing students to get their beauty licenses. Plus she was a former RN.
Getting back to the struggles of CD life. The girl time can really become a internal fight.
If I had the means I'd like to establish a safe place for girls to go and be themselves. Keep their girls things, get made up and hang out with other CD'S. I believe it would be a stress relieving experience. Well it's something to dream about anyway.
I hope you can find a happy medium Alisha!
Fran 🥰
@oyered I think most can relate even those like myself that have an accepting SO but unlike many strong girls here I still feel in the closet and im afraid to share this with my wife of 23 years. even though she knows and says its fine. no matter how much I bring it up she does not seem interested but also doesn't seem to be phased at all. so I still generally dress in private when she visits her mom. she knows what im doing but I just feel more relaxed and free if Im alone. The other day she bought me hair dye for one of my wigs but Im still afraid and ashamed to dress in front of her. I realize this is still a better situation than many have and im very fortunate but I still have so much conflict.
Ive been programmed that this is wrong and always going against my programming is driving me nuts.
Fear of judgment is a great one also. so she knows and seems fine but will she still be judging me I dunno probably not but its just so damn scary.
I need to be brave like so many here and just do what makes me happy and hope to god she is ok wth it.
Good luck in your situation. Cheers RC
@river River my wife is 100% onboard with crossdressing and still I feel bad about this compulsion. Occasionally she will prompt me, “Is Caroline coming over today?” Her encouragement gets me out of my head and into a dress
C💋
@carolinecd306 Thats the right word I was looking for Encouragement is so important. Thats what I need more of. thank you . thats an important piece of the puzzle. Cheers RC
Caroline!!!!
We must to swap our wives!!!, I would give a world to get my wife treat me in that way!!!!
@oyered Everything you brought up Alisha resonates strongly with me. They are all things that I experienced and had to deal with in the past and to a smaller extent still encounter. Fortunately for me, I have reached a place in my life where I am able to address my needs well and live in a way that suits me. It took a lot of time and effort but it is well worth it. I hope you are able to get to a similar place!
I tried to test the water with my partner. But she seemed puzzled and uncomfortable, saying, "I don't really understand why someone would want to do that."
20/20 hindsight is a great thing but that strikes me as an opportunity to say, "Well.I want to do it because..." Yes, I know, that's a lot easier said than done, not least because of the risk of losing your partner.
I think you've pretty comprehensively noted most of the things that most of us face or have faced in our own lives, Alisha. Each of us must answer these for ourselves but know that you have our support and the benefit of how some of us have dealt with these issues...successfully or otherwise!
I have shared my own story elsewhere in the forums and I'm lucky to have an accepting and supportive wife but if you want to pm me, I'll happily share it with you.
In the words of the Pink Floyd song (as spoken by Stephen Hawking via voice synthesiser), Keep Talking.
Allie x
@oyered Summarizing your issues and concerns, all save maybe #7 deal with communication with important people in your life. If you feel that you can't talk this over with especially your wife, then you will continue to be stressed. Even the idea of having a separate place where you can dress in private means, to both of you, that you are hiding something. To your wife, she may feel the same discomfort as you having a mistress. At least if you can dress at home, she always knows where you are.
For your own sanity and health, and for maintaining your marriage, you might want to think of ways of how to change things, maybe even letting her help you with certain aspects of dressing. Picking out clothes, doing make-up, being your photographer, etc. There are lots of stories here with happy endings. Not all of them are, though, so use caution.
Another thing not mentioned, so far, is seeking professional help from the right kind of analyst. This way you can work on keeping your sanity. Some CDs even use those sessions as a place to safely dress, too.
* I tried to test the water with my partner. But she seemed puzzled and uncomfortable, saying, "I don't really understand why someone would want to do that."
This doesn't sound like an outright "What are you? Gay? A pervert? What's wrong with you?" kind of statement and it's possible you missed your chance to explain there.
I might have responded with "Why do people go bungee jumping, what do people get out of roller-coasters, why do folk cave-dive?" (I really can't understand why people want to do these things).
It always seems like there has to be a reason that is easy to understand, but that is not always the case. I mean, some really healthy people get cancer, other, totally unfit smokers and drinkers do not; it's just the way it is. Just as it is with cross-dressing, for some people it's a necessity and a compulsion, for others, like me, it's just something one does.
Try again with your wife, perhaps you caught her at a bad time. Try to have some answers, try to keep it casual and not be too earnest. Take baby steps, like painting a finger nail with a manly black polish; people actually do this, it's not unusual. If there is an outright objection then you'll have to think of something else. Maybe it's never going to happen, you'll have to deal with that, but at least you'll know where you stand with her and I suspect that right now, you aren't really sure.
Becca
@oyered hey,Alisha. I feel your pain. Sorry your partner was so uncomfortable. I went first to check your profile. I see you come from a different part of the world and you now live in the US. Is your partner from the same place? The customs in other countries can be non-compatible with what we expect here.
I hope you can find your own space to let Alisha out as much and going as far as you wany.
Cassie
@oyered I've been dressing since I was 4. My mother, grandmother and aunt knew about it and often saved their old clothes for me. I was allowed to dress openly in the house unless my dad was home or we had company.
I began buying my own clothes at 13, and at 17, I put enough of a wardrobe together for going out. I had wanted to do that for so long. Basically had to sneak out underdressed, get into my car, drive to a nearby park, get my wig, shoes and breastforms out of the trunk, get back in the car and transform into my femme side.
When I was 18, and got my first place, I really upgraded and grew my wardrobe with everything I ever wanted and dreamed of. I dressed everyday and often went out. It was so thrilling to be dressed, open the door of my apartment and walk outside. I would often walk to my car, drive a round a bit, get out in various places, maybe go into stores and do some shopping, then drive home, get out of the car and freely walk back to my apartment. I never had to change back into guy mode in the car before I went in the house.
I began going to parties with other dressers at college, and often walked about the campus en femme when I didn't have classes. I knew of places where I could change discreetly.
There is nothing like having a place of your own where you can dress and enjoy your dressing to the fullest.
@pattyphose wow lucky you, how different life would have been if I could have been accepted. I think our different backgounds help us fulfil our real selves.
@sarahmichellelustre I think for me, it was something I wanted to do so much, that I took risks, and even got my own place to take my femme side and my dressing as far as it possibly could go.
And when I began going out at 17, I had been thinking about and planning it since I was 13. As soon as I had the means and opportunity to do it, I was going to do it and I did.
@pattyphose well you are an inspiration inside and out. Your life sounds ideal for a CD despite all the lows and desire to find your true self.
@sarahmichellelustre I guess if you look at my life as a CD, it appears ideal compared to others. Being able to see the differences between myself and other CD's, I can see why it seems that way. There has been times I've been nervous, scared and just plain terrified. But then there has been times where I've been excited and thrilled beyond belief. So with all the possible good, it has not been all charmed.
@pattyphose p.s. I adore those beautiful legs on your profile. Gorgeous pantyhose and heels!
@sarahmichellelustre Thank you Sarah. Those are glamour photos taken around 15 years ago. I was modeling shoes and pantyhose. So, every photo was taken to show my legs at their sexy best.
From the time I was 4, I loved wearing pantyhose and heels with a short dress. Even from then, i knew I wanted to look like a girl, wear pantyhose and show off my legs.
My first times out wearing pantyhose, I was 13, wearing pantyhose with shorts and moccasins in boy mode. I also wore a bra under my shirt showing some breast. It was only a start of what I so wanted to do. I knew I had to not look like a boy dressed like a girl when I did this. It took until 17 when I bought a couple of wigs and went out with a Daisy Duke look. I got to show off lots of leg in pantyhose, have nice breasts and pretty hair. It was an incredible thrill.
So when I got asked to model some pantyhose and heels, I jumped at the chance. It was part of my CD dream and fantasy.
@pattyphose I love your story and it is exactly how I would feel. Daisy Duke could pull it off as she had this amazing light figure. Those sheer nylon legs under shorts looking so fine is not easy to get right. I was so attracted to Catherine Bach, Wonder Woman and Wilmer Deering at that time. It was all about pantyhose and tight outfits! Ladies looked so sexy and I also love to replicate that era.
@sarahmichellelustre For me, the girls who wore pantyhose and showed their legs was my favorite. That included girls I knew.
When I was looking for a femme role model to impersonate and I saw Daisy Duke, I knew I had my heroine.
I had a few pairs of short girl's shorts, several pairs of Legg's Sheer Energy and No Nonsense Light Support pantyhose in tan, a pair of platform wedge shoes, a few bras, and couple of wigs. That's all I had to work with.
I wanted lots of leg in pantyhose, pretty hair and nice breasts. When I first saw my legs in the pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges, I was shocked, thrilled and amazed. I had sexy girl legs. Seeing my breasts made from old pantyhose stuffed in my bra, made me just swoon and tingle. But when I stepped back and saw my entire self with my sexy legs, nice breasts and amazing pretty hair, I was overwhelmed. I was an amazingly sexy girl. This is who I am going to show in public.
I was so overwhelmed, it actually took a few days to take it all in, while trying to control my excitement over what I was going to do.
I was often nervous before going out, but once my excitement level exceeded my nervousness. The bolder I got and the more I showed my sexy legs too, the more excited I got.
There was some scary moments, but overall, it was very exciting and thrilling adventures
@pattyphose it is a revelation that I think not all guys see in the mirror, some of us can be blown away by the right outfit and physique before us! We don't expect it! I'm shocked by the difference some men show between their boring man clothes and all the full makeover. They can be actually very attractive. It sheds a different light on sexuality and women in a way. Most people can scrub up very well in their own style and look attractive. A few can look so good!
@sarahmichellelustre I used to pose in the mirror practicing my feminine mannerisms. When I did, I was often overwhelmed by my appearance and femininity. That's me and that's who I'm going to show to the public. Even now, decades later, I still enjoy seeing my femme self in a mirror.
I've met many other dressers since my first meetings when I was 18. I'm often blown away at how these incredibly gorgeous and sexy women are actually guys. Talks about confused emotions. I've seen so many average looking guys, or in many cases below average looking guys go into a room and an incredibly beautiful woman emerges.
There's no question, women's clothes are more fun to wear than men's. I think for those like us who have discovered and enjoy this, we are truly blessed. It's a truly special and unique experience.
@pattyphose it is an enhancing sensory experience. The excitement can last hours and there is nothing like it. Finding an inner sensitivity in a way like none other.
@sarahmichellelustre When you look in the mirror and see a pretty, sexy girl looking back, no doubt it is a considerable enhanced sensory experience that can last for days. You can't get it out of your mind. Then you dress again as soon as possible, look in the mirror and relive that experience.
To know you can do that and how you feel when you do is so addicting. You want to feel that way all the time. You end up dressing a lot and maybe start thinking about going out and even meeting others liie yourself.
I think a lot of us know this set of feelings or issues very well. Depending on your personally and background, we might be at different stages at different times of life. If you have a real urge though to express yourself this way, you should keep bringing this up with your partner. I wonder if she was just freaked out at the wrong time. What was the situation? I have no doubt she has remembered. Maybe she actually expresses outwardly because it was just a surprise, but inwardly she wants to know more.
It seems though that women are not much better than men for accepting grey areas with how we dress. There very fixed views and I am not sure we ultimately do need to go out and find our people in the end. I know that I don't typically get the urge to do more than dress at home but occasionally I really want to go out. I want a makeover as a next stage.
In the end also it all comes down to how outgoing and brave you might also be because you are leading this brave new reality for both of you.
@oyered can really identify with this and so many points apply to me and why until very recently I have had to hide my feminine identity so its nice to know that I am not alone.
@oyered OMG! You gorgeous I started mt journey, I want to be beautiful like you❤️ luv u girl
I am single with a single mom. I'm fortunate that have the time to dress as Francine on a daily basis. I can fit into my mother's clothing, and I am sure she is not aware of my secret desires. I would like to share mt crossdressing with her but haven't got the 'guts' to do so.
Any suggestions from any member would be appreciated.
Francine
Hey Alisha, I feel your pain girl. Are you able to find any time to dress at all? Your seven points are really all the same point. I've told my story here countless times but I've concluded that it's too risky to keep any clothes at home and even if I did there'd be too much stress in trying to grab a furtive couple of hours when the SO was out. What if she came home early? I'm afraid there are no easy answers. I've been married for 37 years and that hasn't been without its challenges. I will admit that the temptation of living on my own is huge, but I'm not prepared to put my daughters and wider family through that upheaval. Heck, I may never dress again 😢. I have had two professional makeovers and they won't be my last. An expensive but exquisite experience for a girl who has no other opportunities.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 hI My dear
I am in a certain way more closer of you in my situation than from Alisha.
I've been married for 20 years, and like you said , the family is something to think about.
I have been in some risky situations to be caught by my wife, and I don't have a clear idea what would happen if she see me crossdressed, perhaps she get upset with me but I don't think she got divorced or similar.
But things won't be the same this is for sure.
@oyered Hi Alisha, I'm glad you were comfortable enough to share all of this with us. In reading your points I would make just a single suggestion:
Try really focusing on learning self love and acceptance. This is simple, but not easy and requires you to unlearn some bad habits and learn some good ones. However, most of your points appear to revolve around fear of rejection and that insecurity generally stems from the lack of self love. "I'm uncertain about who I am and/or what I like, and if others reject that then I'll feel bad about myself." However, if you learn that self acceptance, that feeling of, "I'm not doing anything wrong and I love me," then a lot of those fears melt away because you come to realize that you don't need that from others any longer. On top of that, when you have that feeling emanating from within, you find you have a lot more of it to share with others and that in turn makes you feel good about yourself, and the machine powers itself.
Once you have achieved this, I think it really unlocks the rest of those issues:
- #1, 2, & 5 When you have the confidence to address this with your partner, it helps you answer her question: Why would anyone want to do this? "A very good question, let me tell you what I feel it does for me," and that gives her information to digest, and she comes back with more questions, which you think about, and give answers to and again, this promotes a cycle of growth as long as you're both willing to work towards it.
- #4 & 7 While you don't have to tell everyone, you'll feel more comfortable sharing this side of you with some select people, which gives you affirmation. You grow to learn that some, if not most, of your fears were unfounded.
- #3 & 6 Once you have determined that you'll support yourself no matter what, you'll work toward finding the right balance of it in your life.
I know that all sounds quite easy, and I'll reiterate that it may not be...but until you try, you won't know. I'll repeat though that it starts with finding those habits you have that lead you to continue the path you're on, and minimizing them and also learning some habits that help you start laying those foundation pieces that build you up.
Lastly, be patient with yourself on this journey, habits are hard to both learn and unlearn and you'll likely backslide at some point. So take a look in to the future you you're trying to build, and she'll look back and thank you. 😉
If any of this resonates, my PM is always open if you want to talk further. 🙂
#4 hit me hard keeping it in for 3 years not coming out to my parents.It was not easy coming out as Tracy Jo when I did
Most people, including partners, simply do not understand why we like to dress. For me it is an educational thing. We, as CDs need to eduvate and inform people that CDs are normal.people who happen to like to dress en femme for a variett of reasons. I have found ad I am out and about more is that people just don't care.
I know I am lucky to have a suppprtive spouse, and she has known since before we were married. Not that it was a factor, but I doubt I would have marries her if she were closed minded about such things. I would have some serious, long talks with your partner and determine if this person is right for you.
@jjandme Yes good on you and the wife. It is wonderful to have a supportive SO for sure. I have found that people in the general public are not worried about CD girls running amok and taking the place over. Mostly they don't care. Some will notice you for sure but they are not going to hassle you. Which is good. I like it when I get a smile from another woman out there. It happens.
Alisha , there isn’t a closeted gurl here at CDH that hasn’t experienced the same issues. These issues are built into our lifestyle. Besides not being able to dress up frequently and when I did I was never long enough I lived with the fear of being exposed. I’ve been through stages in my life where I could dress more often and other times when I couldn’t , like the way it’s now. What I have to do to stay relatively sane is to not let my crossdressing feminine side take control. As we know that is a particularly difficult task. It’s really a pick your frustration situation. I under and stealth dress frequently which help’s immensely. It keeps me in touch with Natalie. And I savor the moments I do get to dress up fully. Those moment though in frequent are just sheer joy.
it’s a battle I’ve been fighting for 60 years and will till my last breath
Natalie 💋💋💋
Hi Alisha,
I know how you feel I've been a part time crossdresser all my life, two weeks ago i was able to spend a few days dressed up in my hotel room and it was great, before that i can't remember when the last time i got to dress up, I'm not sure when I'll be able to repeat it, it might be another year before i get to dress up, I'm hoping that i get some free time in the future so i can let Roz out of the closet once in awhile,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
I'd like to address a couple of issues. First is the question of why. I think it is a question that many people struggle with themselves. But the real question is, does "why" really matter? Why do you like blue better than red? Why do you like golf more than tennis? Why do you like one activity over another? Does it really matter? You just do. As (@melodeescarlet) Melodee stated, you can tell her how it makes you feel, but the question of why is of less importance.
Fear of judgement/Social stigma: These are related to feelings of shame. We've "learned" certain things like "men don't <fill in the blank>" but even these have exceptions. Men don't wear skirts, but men wear kilts, or make a skirt out of a towel every time they come out of the shower. Ancient Egyptions wore skirts, and people wore robes (wrap dresses?) many years ago. People are becoming more accepting over time. Also, as we age, we tend to either say "I don't care what other people (strangers more than people closer to us)," or notice that people are so busy with their own lives and their own thoughts that they tend not to notice. Check out "The Fox and The Phoenix Podcast" Episode 17.
I also want to bring up the communication barriers. I get the fear of losing your partner over this. But I can tell you from my own experience and many others here, it is difficult to hide your secret forever. Something will come up, your stuff will be discovered, and she will start speculating all the wrong things. She will be very hurt, and the conversation will be had at the wrong time and from the wrong mindset. It's not a matter of if you will be discovered, it's a matter of when. It may be many years down the line, which just makes things worse. It is best to tell her on when you are both calm and have time to ask and answer questions. She does not have to see you dressed, but just sharing the knowledge will releive a lot of stress.
Hi Alisha, thank you so much for sharing. It really got me and i so feel your pain.
I'm a closeted girl too, and it is the most frustrating thing ever when i can't be my self when i want to be. I live at home with my mom and brother and i usually only am able to dress up when they're both out of the house which is sometimes three times a week and only for a few hours till my bro comes home from school. Sometimes my mom works from home making it not possible to dress up, this is especially frustrating when i plan out a day of looking pretty and it all comes crashing down because family is home. It gets more complicated when my work schedule changes too.
I'm 27 and hope to be getting my own place soon so hopefully once that happens i'll have greater freedom and privacy, but for now, I'm at the mercy of when my family is out of the house. I love my family with all my heart and can't tell them because i know they will not accept this part of me, so, alas, I know the feeling of frustration and fear of living a double life. I hope you are able to move past it soon, best of luck to you!
~Chloe
You are right Alisha, it can get very emotionally exhausting which can impact your life in a variety of ways. I wish you the best as you move along your journey.
Hi Alisha,
Thank you for sharing, I can really relate to the struggle you are going through. The biggest challenge I have faced in my lifelong journey of crossdressing( started at 10, am 59 now ), bigger than learning how to apply my makeup correctly or navigating the sometimes frustrating aspects of female comportment, has been finding the time to indulge in my feminine side. When Jennifer wants to come out and cannot because of various circumstances that intercede with my desire to dress, that in itself can cause me anxiety that causes my Richter scale to jump to the top of the chart.
When I was younger and married, this caused me no end of internal strife. There were many times I simply could not cope with anything interfering with my plans to dress. I was a basket case and over time, that frustration ended up hurting me in the end, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
When I got divorced at 40, after 15 years of marriage, I decided I wanted to try a different tack and started an inwards journey so I could take a hard look at the duel personas that shared the space within my psyche. It wasn't easy, and I am still on that journey and even at this moment in my life, I have responsibilities that can impede with my desire to be Jennifer, but I have found a measure of peace at this juncture of my journey.
Thank you again for bringing this topic up, by sharing you brought me a little further along the road I am traveling, and reminded me of how things shared, can make an impact on one's soul.
Have a great day and I wish you all the best!!!
Hugs,
Jennifer
If you think about it then it's very simple:
We all here must be liberal enough if we are CDs. The only scenario ever that your partner will NOT accept that side of yours is if she's so extreme conservative, and in that case, you don't need that kind of a partner, or you'll have more problems. Even most conservative partners will accept you. It's the same like parents always accepting the children crazy decisions at the end.
So, that part is easy. And now she knows.
The next step: if you'll break up with her, or she'll be so upset with you, then will she tell anyone? In most cases, if she's smart enough, the answer is no. And if she's not? Common dude, what can happen? the worst thing is that some friends will have some jokes on you. Like your partner, same with your friends, they like you because you are ... you, and that'll not going to change because you are CD.
And now for the final step:
So if your partner knows, can you dress now freely?
That's a complicated question. It depends on you. Let's face it, most women want a macho partner and they find it more attractive. If you are very lucky then you have a partner with a fetish to CD, or similar fetishes. If not then you can dress and she'll not say anything, but deep inside she'll not feel OK with it. She'll see it as the bad side of you.
So at the end, most of the time you'll be in my state: My wife knows and I can keep my women wardrobe, but I'm not dressing in front of her. I'm also not ordering/buying anything new when she's around. In my case she's becoming more and more conservative everyday and she hate transgenders. She'll not tell my secret because she has friends in the LSBTIQ* community and they'll all going to hate her if she'll ever do that to me. We are not talking about this subject and she's saying that she's accepting me. In my case I can feel her reactions so I know that she's not happy when I'm dressing in front of her.
One more thought:
You can have problems if you'll not tell your partner. If your relationship is very strong then she'll be very hurt that you keep from her a big secret about you, and that you don't trust her. Think want you are going to feel if you'll discover a big (positive) secret that your partner is hiding from you for many years?
Alisha you definitely hit all the touchstones in your post. And I’ve read the wide variety of responses and as always, I have a take myself.
For starters, my wife and I are VERY conservative people. Take that for what it’s worth, I’m not going any farther with it here or anywhere else for that matter. It’s irrelevant.
That being said, I learned long ago in my first go-round - that secrets in a marriage are never good. No matter what they are. I made it my policy after that first one, no more secrets in relationships.
From what I can tell so far from taking a deep dive into CDH…and enjoying every minute of it BTW, everyone has their own reasons for crossdressing. Just like ice cream - there are a lot of different flavors in this lifestyle. And that’s what makes it all the more fascinating as we consider other aspects and angles of it.
Your partners statement: “I don’t really understand why someone would want to do that.” ….has a very simple answer: “Because people like what they like.”
I don’t really understand why someone would want to go fishing. Or camping. But I do understand that people like what they like. So, enjoy life on your own terms. Not somebody else’s.😊
GP
Very well Said Alisha. Nice Job !!!
Huggs
Stephanie👠
