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I know I've touched on this topic before (and I know it's been a while, since I've said much), but I've always wondered how subcultures have played a role in getting you deeper into or further away from your dressing.
At least for the younger girls (thinking mostly under 40) there is a very clear connection between biologically male people dressing/presenting as women - I use this language to convey that this is in the broadest sense possible, and nerd/gamer culture. I have never felt a part of that and as soon as I dip my feet into the world of CDs in my age group I feel pretty alienated by that. Similarly, while I know the direction at least of my sexuality in all certainty, I do wish I had explored more before settling down, and at the same time I never felt like the LGBTQ world was a place for me either. Honestly, I feel like were my sexuality any different and my drive for a less confined gender expression stronger I still wouldn't feel at home there, controversial as that reads.
It has made me envious at times as a guy who has based a lot of his life on underground rock that there was once a much stronger connection between the queer (and particularly drag) world and punk, but by the time I was there it couldn't have been any more distant, at least on my foundation. Were I born decades earlier, I feel there would have been a lot more convergence.
How have these kinds of things affected you? Have you always dressed independent or has there been a door into the queer or nerd worlds that have allowed you to explore?
From the subcultures of 80s of gender bend and all that stuff I leaned of the term Two Sprits and how they where seen and respected in there society for there ability to be equal in there masculine and feminine as person
When I was in school, we didn't have gamers in the sense of electronics, our gamers played board games from companies like Avalon Hill and such, and those were stuck in with the nerds and not a separate group. Some of our divisions were the nerds, of course, jocks, heads (hippies), rednecks (cowboys and girls), Brad's and Debs, and then came the fringe people. I was always one of the latter, not big or strong enough to be a jock, didn't smoke pot (then), or ride a horse, and with a single mom of two kids, didn't have a lot or live in the best neighborhoods.
I did try ti fit and gave support first to the local gay groups in the area, then the lesbians allied with them bay men and I tried to support them also. But I saw this became a one-way street and they could have cared less about me being CD or Trans, or the other girls in similar situations to me. Then the 'B' came into the LG system, again a non-fit as I wasn't 'B' either. So again, even though the group(s) came looking for my support, it was returned in very little action or actual help.
Eventually the 'T' group began appearing more and more and they could not ignore us as they had in the past, as long as we behaved according to their odd code of ethics, we were tolerated. I will give the group my vocal support, but that is as far as it goes now. I know my life and who I am and don't necessarily depend on them for much anymore. Now the tables have turned in my way of seeing things, I am no longer a 'fringee', the people hostile or outside of my lifestyle are the fringe dwellers, and can join us only by accepting us and not trying to change how we live.
PaulaF
Also, if anyone read this and thought the title should be "Bitch, you ain't no nerd?!" we're friends.
Every culture and sub culture has cliques and special rules to be officially ordained or indoctrinated. LGBTQ+ is certainly no different. For the VERY few people I have ever trusted with my secret in the LGBTQ+ community, the best response has always been just kind of a “huh” type reaction, totally awkward. Very much the same as with a typical straight person. Beyond that, I have only felt that the non-straight community only allows me to “play along” but that I can’t understand any of the struggles they go through... which is true, I guess. I don’t know “what it’s like” because I don’t live my entire life presenting non-cis gendered, gay, or queer. However, I can empathize and respect, and THAT is what is not reciprocated.
Since many of us move between worlds in presentation, I think we are viewed as tourists - only playing when it suits us. I don’t get any genuine impression from the LGBTQ+ community that I belong with them. Since I am straight and present cis most of the time publicly, I am just a straight cis-gendered man with a hobby and an identity problem.
hi girl, i think there are many factors that make us the women we are, not just those two, in fact i think that the relationship between us with the close woman in our life has a big portion of responsibility in this topic according of the posts that our sisters write here, mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, our stories with them have a big importance, but also the society and the media, principally TV in my case, hugs felicity
