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Do you have any good crossdressing quips, comebacks, put-downs, expressions, retorts that others can use?
Let's start with a CD wearing nail polish: "Not only men wear nail polish, I hear women do that too, now."
Commenting that a CD is doing something unusual: "Don't marry a typical boring male."
What quips do you know or use?
I've been racking my brains to remember who this was - I hope they read this post and claim due credit.
One of our members was ringing through groceries in a supermarket, in drab but underdressed, when the female cashier asked: 'Excuse me ... but are you wearing a bra?'.
When they said 'Yes', the cashier said 'Why?'.
The reply is an all-time classic.
'Because it matches my panties'.
@ellyd22 I remember that quip.
When at a home show, recently, a male saw my blue nail polish and commented about it. I raised one hand up to my matching blue pull-over (which he didn't noticed matched) and he asked if it matched my panties. He said it, not me. 😁
@ellyd22 Haha. That was me Ellie. Although it wasn’t the cashier but rather just a woman behind me in one of the isles.
This comeback is an absolute belter, if anyone hasn't already seen it. It's from a post by @dazzler
My wife. Legend! – Personal Crossdressing Stories – Crossdresser Heaven Forums
It's from seven months ago, but it still makes me laugh.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 She's a good un! I am very lucky! She does have a great sense of humour. She once commented on what I was wearing. That's far too short. It's not a dress, it's almost a crop top!
Another... Wear it if you like, but for f***s sake don't bend over or sit down!
The other day I was wearing red jeggings, knee length boots and a pink polo shirt.... Where have you parked your horse? she asked.... TBF it did look quite equestrian.
I love her. She's brilliant!
Cerys
@harriette A good general purpose response is
"There are 2 people in the world whose opinion I value. You are neither of them"
Works in any number of situations.
@sashabennett Thanks, come to think of it, that response can work in many situations.
@harriette I was in drab and buying a pretty bustier with garters, matching panty and stockings. The young cashier looked at me and said "you're going to look lovely in these" thinking I'd be shocked.
I just looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Oh I certainly hope so" with a big, wide smile.
Well I never , it actually happened to me just recently. I dropped on my once or twice a yearly visited brother We're a bit chalk and cheese, but he's my brother. So I'm just me being me, no attempt to pass, unisex, but wearing nothing that I'd bought on the men's side of the shop. And some dark pink nail polish. I've worn clear gloss when I've visited before, but not colour.
And the question did arise from his wife, half way through the first cup of tea. . "You're wearing nail polish. Why are you wearing nail polish?". And big bro chipping in very quickly "Yes, why are you doing that?"
I just stretched out my hands in front of me so they could have a good look. "I just like it" was my only answer. And believe it or not, not another word was said about it, apart from 'mmmh'. I reckon I won the match on a technical KO. I think it was a case of "If you're not gonna like my next answer, you'ld better not ask the next question". And I did feel better in myself for not backing off.
I must admit, I've had all this sort of cr*p in my youth, in the 60s, when having long hair was often seen by some as an admission of being a woman, a gay person, and a drug fiend, all rolled into one and worthy of a mocking statement.
My fall back response was always a dismissive "Yeh, whatever". It kind of burst their bubble.
eM x
@emmat You could also add, "more men are wearing nail polish today".
I was on a bus, last year, and a young man had a dark blue on his thumbs and a dark green on his fingers.
@emmat that is similar to my response to my nail polish, I usually say "it makes me happy"
After a foul mouth remark. Ask do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
After a rude remark. Reply your bad manners are only exceeded by your bad manners! That will definitely confuse them!
Fran 🥰
@harriette Why do you want to wear woman's panties? Because, woman wear men's boxers
@chellygirl For me, it would be more a case of they're just more comfortable. The way men's panties are pieced together just cause more areas to chafe skin, bunch up and get uncomfortable.
Whenever I'm out to dinner, and my server dutifully asks if I want dessert, I smile and decline, saying that I have to watch my girlish figure! Not only cracks the server up, but several times have also cracked up the next table; people who noticed me and politely minded their own business...but couldn't help overhearing that! 🤣
Some years ago when I had started to go out alone I needed to use a cash machine. Even in male mode I will use the reflective front to use to see who is around me. When approaching the machine there was a lad nearby but in the reflection he had stationed himself on some railings just to the side behind me. There were a couple of people about but not near, I watched, put the cash in my purse and then bag. I released the bag off my shoulders wrapping the strap around my hand with enough length to swing if needed. I walked towards my car and he followed so I crossed quickly and he stayed on the other side. I stopped and glared at him as if to say 'what do you want'. Obviously that had an effect as he said,'Are those your tits'! My reply, 'Yes they are and you won't be touching them so f**ck off''...He scuttled off.
Now it would seem he had clocked me but I didn't expect that comment and perhaps he didn't expect that reply nor the prospect of a heavy bag whacking him in the chops.
@harriette I have a few things in the holster, though have not had need to use them.
Mostly, however, if I felt they were being rude, then honestly they don't deserve any of my attention, so I'd simply ignore them.
@harriette That's a good point.
If you want to reply when someone comes with an ill-mannered, "Why do you shave your arms/legs...paint your nails?" etc. the quickest way to shut that whole thing down is, "I prefer it that way." It's a debate ender. You aren't justifying anything and, as a matter of personal preference, the point is categorically inarguable. Are they going to debate that you don't prefer it? No. It's game over.
If they do (foolishly) press, then turn it around on them: "Why do you drink coffee? ...wear those pants? ...drive that car?" Ultimately it all comes down to preference and you simply make that evident. Then say, "See how I didn't feel the need to bother you with such inane questions? Give that a shot."
For myself, I'd add "...sugar" on the end and wink and be on my way, but...I'm a sassy redhead. 😉 YMMV
@melodeescarlet Inarguable points are useful tools to have in any discussion.
Why do you do that?
Because I like to do that.
@melodeescarlet I think there's a lot to be said for not engaging with someone who is being rude or intrusive, and keep moving. And have your noise alarm handy if they pursue.
Don’t knock it till you try it
Not really useful as a retort, but a friend of mine commented that it takes a lot of balls for a man to go out and about dressed as a woman!
Joanna 💕
@joannat I often tell my friends this is like Star Trek; "Going where no man has gone before!" 😉
I've never had to use it, but the only reply I have is to the question "Are you a man?". My answer is "I was, until the accident. I worked in a sheet metal factory, I'll let you fill in the details."
It's not a funny reply and isn't meant to be. It's a way of causing a delay in any unfavourable interaction, giving me time to leave while they wonder what to say.
It's an embarrassment factor designed to deflect further comment and be non-confrontational.
If I ever have to use it, I hope it works.
Becca
@rebeccabaxter A reply that I haven't used yet is...
Are you trying to body-shame me?
@rebeccabaxter I would just say "have you ever seen the movie The World According to Garp?"
Hmm Becca, That got me thinking.
'Are you a man?'..........' I was but while working in a bull castrating shed a co worker should've gone to Specsavers'......
.I remember two occasions during which I was asked if I was a man or a woman.
On one occasion, I was walking on an isolated sidewalk and I young man was walking towards me. He raised his index finger pointing towards me and I thought to myself, here is comes!
"Are you a man or a woman?"
I replied with, "Does it matter?"
No, no, I was just wondering.
I have learned to accept that dressing androgynously can confuse people.
Heidi Phox did a video a few months ago where she and a friend were on a cruise. Passing a family, the child asked the question "Wait a minute! Is 'HE' a girl?"
I have, thankfully, yet to encounter any overt derision, but I think I’d like to point out that it takes a REAL man to have the guts to go out dressed as a woman.
Joanna 💕
@joannat I've only had one negative encounter. Was on my way to the pool for my daily workout, early morning, and stopped at a 7-11 to pick up some Gatorade. Came out (of the store, silly! 😉 ) and a vanload of about 6 20-something guys, likely on their way to work construction (or something manly 😛) had parked next to me. Nothing overt, but I could detect, even with my effed-up hearing, a lot of insulting muttering. I just continued getting into my car and leaving. Guess they felt I was threatening their manhood 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Just today, I came out of the gents toilets (I was in drab) and a guy following me out said, "that's a lot of earrings" (I have two pairs now); I said "yes it is", and carried on with my day. Seemed to work—no mention of the plum-coloured nail polish though.
How did I miss this topic? If it’s 2 or more antagonists say to Mr vocal in a voice loud enough to be heard by all, “ are you trying to hit on me again”? Or: saw you were voted #1, is that your IQ, or sperm count? Last,look down at the antagonists privates ,( does not matter what sex) and say, “was that penal implant painful?”🤡
