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It’s so odd how the feelings of our significant others towards our feminine ways can change for any number of reasons. For the past year or so my wife and I have been in a great place with my dressing. And I’ve not brought it up much at all with her. The only eventful thing lately was when she kindly asked me to present less feminine as I was wearing a crop top pajama set and it was a bit too cute 😂.
Now she’s recently become closer friends with a coworker who has a much more open marriage than we do. Her coworker is in a Polyamorous relationship and her partners of choice are all trans women and cross dressers. With the two of them talking more as friends she’s shared stories and experiences from that lifestyle with my wife. Out of the blue my wife brings up some of the details and how it’s changed her perspective. She feels like it’s made her more accepting of my feminine side and maybe relieved that with how our relationship is pretty simple in comparison. I think she used the word “normalized”. I think that is so important for her acceptance, and it’s why I’ve tried to recommend books and this forum for her to get that normalization. So far she has pushed back on those recommendations, so having it happen organically feels like a miracle! Here’s to hoping this is the first step on the road to girly date nights and shopping trips that I’ve been dreaming of ❤️
@felicianrb I love the comparison to the kids situation. I have 3 and that’s so true, perfect analogy.
@rebeccaoh Good for you. I know my wife was very hesitant to go out anywhere with me. The constant fear of "what if someone sees you". Well, we went to a support group meeting and met the President of another chapter. We instantly liked her and went to her group and found it a much better fit.
That group had wives that participated as well. My wife now had input from them and was able to question them on their feelings and attitudes in addition to talking to the other "ladies". That was the thing that really pushed her to full acceptance and understanding. She was able to see that we were all just regular (I won't say normal) people, with regular jobs and varied levels of education. We weren't a category in itself, we weren't a "type".
After that we began going everywhere together and never worried about discovery. If someone who "knows" you encounters you while you are out dressed and it changes their opinion of you then they didn't Know you in the first place. How you dress and present shouldn't change that if they really know the person.
Just keep being the you your wife knows.
Hi Rebecca, Thankyou for sharing your story with your us all. From reading your story it seems as if your relationship with your lovely wife has taken a step forward in supporting (at times) the person who you want to be.
I do hope you do have those girly nights out and shopping trips that you have been dreaming about.
May your days be brighter at every turn
Kind regards Gwen
@gwen495 Thanks so much, you’re too sweet. We’ve got such a great relationship and truly this is the only area we have conflict. If we get to a point where it’s accepted, I won’t know what to do lol.
That's wonderful Rebecca. I am sure it was difficult for her to accept but at least she was prepared to listen to other views and have an open mind. I hpoe it develops and strengthens your relationship.
@ab123 Just hoping the conversation can come up again without me bringing it up. It feels like when I bring it up myself it gets more tense. Patience is a virtue they say!
How wonderful for both of you, just remember slow and steady is the way to go.
La
