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The good:
The wife decided to take me shopping at the thrift store today, to get me some girl clothes to tide me over while I finish losing my "man belly". She walked me through the aisles, explaining why certain styles just wouldn't look right on me, sizing, coordinating, etc. Full lessons on everything. She ended the tour by picking out a nice bra in my size, (she had already measured me last night, I should have suspected something was up) and telling me why that cup size would fit my physique without being too over the top. We had a " girls day out" in a way. She almost had me in tears, I was so happy. We also picked up a few nice skirts and blouses for me, and she found a few things for herself, especially one cute little dress that I wish fit me!
The bad:
So many pretty things that didn't fit! Those petite girls get everything, us plus sized girls get plain orange dresses to make us look like a walking pumpkin! Ok, maybe not that bad, but sheesh!
The ugly:
Donna (my wife) had to use the restroom at one point, leaving me to browse the dresses near the front of the store. We both thought nothing of it, I am rather surprised at how comfortable I am with myself already!
The clerk at the counter saw me actually sorting through the dresses, holding them against me to check size, etc. She got on the store loudspeaker and very loudly said "CD up front! CD up front!"
At first I thought it was just a coincedence, that the store manager was needed at the counter, and their initials were C.D. Or some other store code or something. I do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
But, the other clerks out on the floor all turned to look at me, shaking their heads and tsk! tsk! -ing at me, and it became quickly obvious that it was what it sounded like.
I just smiled, and gave the dress I was holding a little flourish, and continued shopping. I wasn't going to let some bigots ruin my special day! I topped it off by being especially pleasant to the desk clerk, not giving her any excuse for her behavior. 🙂
I didn't mention it to Donna until we were on our way home, she is very protective of me, and it wouldn't have ended as well!
This is just the kind of area I live in. -sigh-
Unbelievable! Incredible that people would behave like that! Over the PA system!
What a classy response on your part - you go, girl! 😙😄
Dianne.
I use thrift shops all the time, and have never been treated like that. In England they are mostly staffed by volunteers, and in my town, older ladies who are very polite. Mostly just happy to make a sale.
Well done for giving them the benefit of the doubt and staying so cool.
Personally, that is one store I would never be returning to, and I would have told them exactly why before I left!!!
Huggs, grace
So sorry this happened to you. This is discrimination. Many of these thrift stores are ran by church groups who condemn people like us and try to discourage us from shopping there. I hope you never go back there because they don't deserve your money. Like most religions they are just bigoted asses!
I was outed once in a church run thrift store before while in male mode buying skirts. I have never gone back there.
Yes, I was in full male mode, coming from a workout at the gym next door, in fact. Doubt I could have appeared more male without growing my beard back! The whole point of shopping there was to get me some clothes to get me started on this journey.
We already discussed it, and decided they will no longer get our business. They do have an anonymous customer feedback program (it's a Goodwill store) but I highly doubt that it would make any difference to use it. Will do so anyway, for the possible benefit of the next girl like us who may go there.
The most important thing to me about the whole event, is the good. It's what I will keep in my heart, long after the bigots are well forgotten.
I have been so touched by Donna's support and acceptance. She's now talking about getting manicures together, another girl's day out.
I still won't do it in dress, of course, but I am beginning to think now her rule of not dressing in public was more to protect me from people like them than a concern about her own dealings with her church. I am sorry to have to say that there are some here that could react with physical violence, not just words. It's a very backwards area, with poor education.
We have discussed moving in a couple of years, I think the culture (or lack of it) of any area we consider will be a high priority.
Wow!
Dianne, your response to those bigots is pure class!
My daughter works part-time at a thrift store. She says they try and put the XL+ clothing in more discreet locations in the shop for CD shoppers. She says we’re good customers!
Also, if any staff member make a negative comment about any customer, especially a in a situation like yours, they get fired!
I hope this helps.
xo Barb
I'm sorry you had a negative encounter on what was otherwise such a wonderful day. You handled it like a classy lady.
Hugs, Liara
wow, I'm not sure what I would have done in that 'CD upfront' situation. Probably something ill-advised, you handled it with grace. You're so lucky to have the wife that you do. Congrats on your day out and surviving :-).
-- Abbie 🥰
Hi Diane.
Your description of your area sounds a lot like where I live... too many narrow minded religious conservative nut jobs who get upset over anything thats not like them. Some real Christians my butt! Pardon me before I get this post banned.
I think its good you will leave a review to alert others like us to not patronize that place. Your wife sounds wonderful and protective of your new side and she is right that you are probably wise to not go out dressed around there. I don't go out in public here but visit a liberal town some miles away when I can. I would move in a minute if I could. I consider everyone I meet here to be a conservative bigot and treat them with that in mind. I know there are a few who are more tolerable but how can one tell? Idk. I get dirty looks now just having Covid hair down my back... screw them.
Being different as we are is going to offend some peoples bigoted narrow view of their little world but we are doing nothing illegal. I've considered going back to the thrift store that outed me just to see if they make a scene again. If so, I would have a friend video the confrontation and sue them for discrimination but on second thought its not worth the public exposure, expense, and trouble. I just stay away and keep my blood pressure normal.
The Good in your story is far more significant than the Ugly. You are very fortunate to have that support. To bad Donna can't help with the Bad.
Hi- I am amazed at their response. That is discrimination.
I wonder if they would do the same for senior ladies “ Granny up front”.
It is really poor customer care.
I would not set foot in there again.
Apologies required, I believe!!
Anya
Hi Dianne first of all Wife has a pretty name after mine. Did great in the situation at hand depending on the store name or such would have find out who the distict manager is. I would never shop there again. Better yet would go in the store every day just to show them.
Yes , I very much agree, and is what I am concentrating on. I am truly blessed to have such a supporting and accepting wife.
Diane, with a conservative mother, and abusive stepfather, Holiness church,and a fundamentalist youth group, I am so glad you survived you teenage years!
