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<span style="color: #777777; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffeeee;">So last night I was doing some research to find some places in Richmond, VA where I could buy woman’s clothing without getting judged. I actually found a LGTBQ+ thrift store called Diversity Thrift. I made it my goal to go there after work and check it out. So I got out of work a little bit early and drove to the store. It was quite possibly the biggest thrift store I had ever seen and it was amazing. I decided to play it cool and I only had an hour left so I looked around the store first and finally hit the ladies section last. So there I was in the ladies section and I can feel my heart pounding. Mind you I was there in drab but since it was a store for LGTBQ+ I thought what the heck no one will judge me. No one said anything to me while I was there but I was so nervous I probably looked like a lost child. I specifically remember looking at the heels seeing what size they were when a man walked by and, I kid you not, walked backwards to make sure there was a guy there checking out heels. This made me even more nervous and terrified so I walked quickly to the guys section to buy time. I finally mustered up the courage to go back but into the very back section where all the jeans are. While I do want a pair of jeans I was too embarrassed and nervous to look at the dresses which looked like a fantastic selection from a glance. I ended up wasting so much time that by the time i started to look at the jeans the store had already closed. I was so upset with myself that I couldn’t get over my nervousness and look at the clothing that I really wanted to see/try on despite the fact that it was LGTBQ+ friendly. To all the girls out there who can shop either dressed or in drab kudos to you and how do you do it? I always get nervous and the only time I can ever buy clothing for myself in person is if my girlfriend is with me and even then, we developed a secret code for buying me clothes. I just want to finally take that step where I can shop for woman’s clothes without her help. Any advice would be wonderful and thanks for taking your time to read this!</span>
Oh that is so sad! People don't realize how a judging gesture like that can make us feel unsafe! 🙁
Wow, that is unfortunate that you ran into someone who "double-taked" you just for looking at heels. I'm at the point that something like that would make me nervous too, but also a little amused. It brings to mind though, that LGBT friendly doesn't mean everyone is crossdresser or trans friendly (or perhaps in this case just so unfamiliar with it and surprised). There can be judgmental people everywhere. I too was very nervous a month or so ago, and thanks to encouragement here was able to start shopping in stores. The excitement, fun, and satisfaction outweighs the nervousness, but now and then I still feel what you're feeling, extreme anxiety. It's from decades of being told how to act and what to buy. I find that in the larger chains most retailers are very graceful and most shoppers don't look twice at you. I like it when there are crowds, everyone is too busy to pay attention to me. I've now purchased a lot of jeans, shirts, underwear, shoes, and accessories for myself, and in fact have several outfits that are from the women's sections of various stores. I still have hangups...I buy my most girly stuff online, but I'm getting more confidence the more I shop, so I would recommend you keep doing it and celebrate the little victories.
Hello Terra. I used to be really nervous shopping myself. Now, I go out in drab, to any store I choose. I don't care who is looking, or what they may say. I try on whatever I think is cute. I even get French tips on my toes, even if I'm in drab, and I leave the salon wearing my flip flops. In fact I wear flip flops in public all the time.
I specifically remember looking at the heels seeing what size they were when a man walked by and, I kid you not, walked backwards to make sure there was a guy there checking out heels. This made me even more nervous and terrified so I walked quickly to the guys section to buy time.
Given the type of store it was, it's quite possible that the guy could have been another CD and he walked backwards to see what you were looking at. He might have thought "I wish I was that brave."
He might have just been interested in the heels too. Did you see him again? Maybe he was waiting for you to leave so he could pounce on them.
Not everyone who checks us out is being negatively judgemental. I've had people give me a second or third glance and then pass a positive comment. Just enjoy your shopping Terra, you money is as good as anyone else's.
🙂
So true Jane, it's very possible that the "double take" wasn't judgmental or even related to crossdressing, he might have just thought he recognized you or something like that. Or maybe he liked the shoes you were wearing. Who knows? It's important to remember that we sometimes see what we expect to see, and that we can't read minds or know intentions. Thank you for the insight.
Like Rochelle, i have no problem buying fem things in male mode. And i am not concerned who may be watching. I notice now to0, that check out chicks notice my very long nails . I always comment on the check out chicks nails if they are nice too.
I began buying my own pantyhose at 13. I began wearing pantyhose out openly with shorts at 17 when I realized even though men's shorts were shorter then I wanted mine a bit shorter to show more leg. I began buying short women's shorts. Then I thought my legs would look even better if I had nicer shoes. I went out and bought some women's shoes.
I used to like going out wearing them and found it a thrill and rush to shop for and buy more women's garments especially pantyhose. ost of the time it was a total non event but occasionally I would get noticed and get asked why I'm wearing pantyhose and even more often get complimented on having nice legs.
One day I was on a cashier line in a department store waiting to pay for a particularly large pantyhose haul. A girl behind me noticed what I was wearing and buying She seemed fascinated. We began talking about it. she thought I might like to try other female garments too. A couple of weeks later she bought me some lingerie to wear with my pantyhose I loved it.
The we decided I would go to a college Halloween party dressed as a girl. Out we went to buy more clothes. I loved dressing up, I loved the party. I loved that I met other dressers who invited me to party with them. That meant a lot more clothes. Now when I went out it wasn't just for pantyhose, short shorts and shoes, it was for everything. And it wasn't just for androgynous looking items. It was for sexy feminine attire. I bought a lot of clothes.
I never worried or cared that someone might see what I was buying and think it was for me. If they did, I really didn't care. I've also bought a lot of things for my girlfriends and wife. I wouldn't get too worked up over this. Do a little at a time and get comfortable with it. Behave normally like you are buying for your wife or girlfriend. If you are nervous and feel you need to cover yourself, get a birthday or anniversary card and include it with your purchase.
Terra,
I think you may have misread that guy's intentions. It's quite possible he wasn't staring at you. Instead, I bet he was worried you were going to buy a particular pair of heels he had his eyes on. I bet that's what he was worried about!
I shop for my feminine wardrobe in drab, and en femme, but I find it so much better shopping as a woman. As a woman, I can try on clothing items to make sure they fit or look right. In guy mode, it's much more difficult to try on feminine clothing or judge whether or not the item is going to fit properly.
Keep shopping, after a while, your nervousness will diminish.
Hugs,
Sally
when i go shopping for nylons or bras or panties, dresses skirts make up. i just go and look at what is pretty and knowing my size, i take what i like and go to the cashier and pay for them and leave the store. i don't care what other people think, as far as i know they might think its for my gf or wife or daughter. for going out all dressed up rather not just yet. but i do wear panties and bra and pad and nylons most of the time. i wear long pants and a sweater to hide the bra, i love go out to buy my own dresses and nylons and make up. this way i know i like it and its my size. better then wearing your wife's clothing and using her make up.
