The Older you get....the thicker the fog???

As someone who is rapidly approaching the half-century mark when I was at school in the 80s anyone who stood out for any reason seemed to get picked on.  In my case it was for my rather delightful NHS provided glasses which came with one frame design in two colour options (black or brown).

My first steps into crossdressing were during my twenties around the same time as I joined the world of work.  At the first company I worked for there was someone who was in the middle of the period of having to live full time as a woman before surgery could take place.  Sadly, being a predominately male environment they were the butt of many jokes, whispers and gossip.

Back then the internet didn't really exist and finding likeminded people and support groups was a lot more difficult than it is now. I think for many of us, the 21st century has marked a time where it is easier and more acceptable to be who we are and who we have always been.

Amongst the teen's immediate friendship group at school there are two who are transgender and two others that identify as non-binary.  From what they have said it seems that they still have the same struggles coming to terms with who they are and have to put up with the same jokes as thirty years ago.

Where things seem to be different is that they appear to be a generation that are more accepting. When I told the teen about my dressing their only response was "if it makes you happy that is fine".

I try not to do regrets as they can be so energy sapping.  There is a part of me that wishes I had been brave enought to have told my SO about my dressing when we first met.  My guess is that at that point in time it would have killed the relationship dead and I would have missed out on the pleasure (and pain) of watching the child develop and grow into the teen we have today.

-A.

Thank you Andi...great points!!

you have reminded me how kids wearing glasses were ridiculed and teased...." specky four eyes"!!! and now it's so trendy, people wear them with plain glass lenses!!!!!....things CAN change x

Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Grace,

I don't know the answers to most of what you ask. I can quite easily speculate on 'what if' too ?

What I do feel though, is that regrets and 'if only's about the past are not necessarily positive thoughts, or worth dwelling on, unless they help you become a better person in the here and now.

If all they do is make someone feel sad, then why go there? Having said that, I do understand, when someone is in that frame of mind my advice is easier said than done ...

just my thoughts.

Marti xxx

Hi Grace,

A good question this old port has seen the pink fog get thicker over the years,

In fact it got a bit thicker yesterday as this old bird is a year older now as it was my birthday,

When i was younger the only people you saw dressed up were the drag queen's on the telly or at the club's you didn't see them in the streets or on the buses,

Back in the 60's and 70's you couldn't even be openly gay without being picked on,

Anyway i digress if i could have crossdressed when i was younger and had been accepted my life would be so much different today xxxxx

Hugs Roz xxxxx

I agree Grace. It used to be fog, now it's like pink jello. I guess that the older we get we realize that caring about what others think will never help us achieve our goals in life.

For me, only, The older I get, the less I care about what anyone cares, or thinks, and also, I have always lived my life, for others. Now, as a fine wine, it's time to live my life for me, and, society has changed so much, in the 60's 70's, being who I am today was unheard of. Full disclosure, I was a hippy, when young, and except for a beard to my chest, I could often be mistaken for a girl, with my neutral clothes, and hair to the middle of my back, I rocked those bell-bottoms and clogs, lol
Would I change if I could go back? No, my past is what made me who I am today, and I love "me"
Hugs, Regi👸💕

A Vintage... that sounds nice Grace.  Much better than "well aged" anyway, lol.  Why now....?  I think it's already been alluded to in a way that as we ( okay, me ) get older the realization finally comes to us that our own happiness is important too.  And - not meaning to sound morbid - but as we get older we have less to lose, right?  Almost like a bucket list item we have to get off our shoulders while we can.  ( thanks covid for that sorta thinking ...).  And, as we ( okay, I ) get older, my BS meter becomes more sensitive, and I hate contributing to the world wide pool of BS, living a false life.

I found it all rather pleasant and rewarding too.  Sure would have been more pleasant had I not waited this long, tho! 🙂

A "properly aged" Stevie 😅

Hi my sweetie, good question. My take on this is we have found that inner peace of tranquility and are no longer fighting with our  demons. More mature, confidence and with a clear understanding of how we want to be in conducting our own lives. No longer frightened by the shadows of our guilt, or the ignorance of the public perception of our choices. I hope that many younger Cd's may get the chance to enjoy being themselves at an earlier age, as acceptance becomes more wide spread.

Having a cup of tea to get over the shock that one of the FNC has been serious. 😂😂

For me, a lot of factors are involved. Men soften emotionally, and physically too if not careful and active, as we age and our testosterone level drops. Maybe retired, no longer in a role that requires a male to “be the man” , as in my case. If you are a girl that enjoys dating men, there are so many that are attracted to girls like us...and the s*x is easy with no pressure to perform. Many of us have never received the compliments and attention as a man, but easy to confuse the loving support of a group like this with the real world. For some, porn plays a role too. Real world stuff, no fluff from this girl.

Haley😘

Wishing you a belated happy birthday Rozalyne. Lol Amanda xx

Many years ago we just wernt accepted but nowadays it seems cd is common ide love to start my life again now and be the girl ide like to be but that ship has sailed it would hurt so many ppl to suddenly become laura full time ill have to carry on being closet laura hugs to u all x

Having read what everyone has had to say, I agree with what everyone had to say at some level. So here are my thoughts and take on why these feelings and thoughts become stronger with age.

Life Experience:  I have definitely through life become in touch with who and what I am and not what family and society say I should be.  It was many years of hiding myself and denying myself to others that I had to overcome to first and foremost admit to myself who I was.  Now I accept me and want to be me and be happy with what is left of this journey.

Society:  As was already covered in depth, “back in our day” coming out as a cd/tg/gay/anything abnormal would get you ostracized and possibly physically assaulted.  We had it ingrained in us to hide it at all costs.  Maybe the world is a little more accepting now?

Biological:  Yes our testosterone levels drop and maybe that allows us to be more in touch with the feminine side?

Financial:  Lets be honest here, being “beautiful” ain’t cheap!  As with many of you I had a career and finances to focus on. When your trying to keep a roof over your head a pair of Manolo Blaniks is low on the list.

Family:  We have the family of our youth who raise us and instill their values and judgments upon us and control our activities. This prevents many of us from discovering ourselves in our youth. Then there is our adult family, wives, children and our parents who we may now need to attend. This may now prevent us from coming out even though we are fully cognizant of who/what we are. We have obligations beyond ourselves.

Sorry this seemed to blather on and on, but it is definitely something I have noticed and thought about. So glad to see others have pondered this as well and come to essentially the same path of varied logic as me. At least I feel in good company as my thoughts wander trying to understand this life and my place in it.
🍷C

Hi Grace,

I had a friend that said it was hormonal.

I tend to disagree as my testosterone was low and When I take testosterone it seems to help my pink fog.

I guess mine is done want sexually driven bit not all.

I think we just reach an age

in life we realize we better enjoy what ever we want in life because we realize we are getting to the  point we realize it's now or never.

Also times are becoming a lot more accepting.

I could be way out in left field.

Good topic sweetie.