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I came to CDH for a few reasons, including:
> to help reduce my feelings of guilt
> to increase comfort in my own (metaphorical) skin
> to understand the impact on my good lady wife
> to help with ‘the journey’
> to meet and share thoughts with like-minded nonjudgmental people
> to increase my friendship circle, especially CDs
> to relax and enjoy ☺️
In just 7 days I have achieved so much on most of these, it’s been quite amazing. Thank you.
I feel though I have only scraped the surface of the impact on SOs. But I have seen opportunities here already which are definitely going to help. The presence of a GG-SO here was an absolute bonus which I tbh hadn’t even dreamed about.
So, I would like to expand further on this particular and, for a committed married person (44 years) most important aspect.
How do we impact on our SO. How are they likely to feel deep down when their beloved partner has an undeniable need to cross dress. I am thinking that whatever accommodating support they may vocalise, deep down, what are they having to process, what are they covering up, suppressing. ‘Just a minute, his boobs are now bigger than mine’. ‘I actually prefer skin-to-skin, rather than silk-to-silk’. ‘I still love him’. ‘I don’t want to lose him’. ‘How will this play out’. ‘What will our family and friends think.’ ‘Do I now always have to go out with another wannabe woman’. ‘Do people really believe me when I say I accept him and his lifestyle’. ‘Why didn’t he tell me sooner, before we got married.’ ‘Is this what I actually want.’ Just a few questions which, if I have any reliable empathy, would task me in my processing if I were the SO on the receiving end of ‘the chat’ as it is perhaps minimised. ‘Am I actually losing him to another, more attractive, more sensual woman’. ‘Do I fight to keep him, or accept and embrace it.’ ‘Am I alone in this.’ ‘Should I just walk away.’
My good lady has been aware of my cross dressing for some 10+ years. Perhaps at first she thought it just a kinky development which would come and then go, only to pop up occasionally, for fun and variety. In realising that it is here to stay, I wonder whether she feels she has lost me, to another almost fictitious woman.
If possible, I would really appreciate the views of genetic women especially.
Thanking you in advance.
Valentina Valentine
💚
@valentina16 In as much as possible, I think it is invaluable for her to find a tribe of her own. We walk around feeling isolated and thinking we're so unusual, and then we find CDH or something similar and we get to exhale and say, "Phew, it's NOT just me!"
They need the exact same thing. A group of SOs they can just talk to to share those feelings. "I swear if he borrows my clutch one more time..." It's every bit as important for them. Otherwise I think they start to feel like the circle around them is getting smaller.
There are some SOs here and a forum just for them (as there should be). Perhaps invite her?
Just my 2p