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This afternoon I tried on a new lightweight maxidress in a floral pattern that had just arrived, and was happy that I looked so nice in it. With a bra, pantyhose and flats, I felt so good I decided to vacuum the house! But I didn't expect that it would be so much fun!! You know - it's different to be moving about, in motion, rather than sitting fully dressed and reading or watching tv.
As I did some chores, this is something I recognized for the first time; when the breeze from the vacuum cleaner caused my short ruffled sleeves to flutter about in my peripheral vision, and my nylon-clad legs rubbing together gave me a deep feeling of contentment and happiness. I've mentioned in my profile I've recently sorted it out that I am a trans woman. In these past few months I have been doing some catch-up. All these feelings and revelations. It is really incredible, isn't it? One little layer after another of inhibition and confusion being washed away.
The mental comfort. It is so unreal and hard to accept- that contentment can actually be achieved. Not only that, but also, "Oh my gosh why am I so happy?"
My feminine growth continues to flower. More and more at home I am fully dressed, moving comfortably about the house, past the windows, no longer throwing on a shirt when I go into the kitchen. And these things I've mentioned here, this is what I was thinking about during my chores: What will the future hold for my feminine transformation? Is this the same journey others have taken?
Yes, I would like to live 100% of my life as a woman. How I feel in a dress - it isn't titillation, it isn't a giddy thrill. You know, I feel calm. I feel good about me. How much I like myself, it is much better.
I understand I will reach a point of comfort and balance. Comfort with how authentic my life will allow me to be, balancing this against the comfort / discomfort / acceptance with my kids. Will I eventually get dressed and go in public? Is this how it is with other ladies here - that they start slowly and gradually get past self-imposed "Stop Signs?"
I’m now at the point where I feel completely zen when in full Chloe mode at home. I’m grounded, I do my best and most productive work, and I can’t imagine having a day home alone and I’m not dressed up. Still have to get over the public hurdle though, but I totally feel that about wanting to live this way all the time and worrying about being accepted for it. I think it will come in time.
~Chloe
Hi, Dani, thanks for this interesting topic. You speak of "Mental comfort" and feeling "calm" when dressed, this is indeed common to many of us according to what I've seen written here. I know that's how I feel when I'm dressed, I'll often find myself smiling and just letting out a contented sigh.
I've never asked myself why I'm happy as Allie, she was denied and suppressed for most of my life...so far..but I now understand and accept that she is the Yin to drab me's Yang. The result of this is that, as I've mentioned, in other posts, I now feel whole and complete, with a peace and contentment that eluded me for over 50 years.
I don't want to be a woman, a healthy part of me already is and any further progress that I make will be in blending "her" and "him" to create the best "me" that I can.
Allie x
@alexina Thank you, Allie, for your reply because it does add to my understanding. I embrace your use of the term "blending". I am experiencing how this is happening in how easily I cry in the last few weeks. Last night I watched a chick flick and when I cried during a tender spot, I told myself hey, this is the 3rd time in the last couple weeks you've reacted like this.
Can’t answer most due I’m a crossdesser that never leaves but I do have to say is only yourself can decide what’s right what’s wrong if your comfortable going out if your ready for some throw backs world we live can be challenging and may come with things you may not like but you must stay strong and accept who you are regardless what others say live your life like you want and enjoy to the fullest sorry I couldn’t really answer all yor question best wishes and hugs CDH will always be here for ya girl 🤗
Dani, how lovely to hear. It sounds as if you are at peace with yourself, and that's wonderful. As to how much further you have to go, take things at your own speed and just enjoy the journey xx.
Hi Dani,
You do sound really content and happy with your life.
Going out in public will come gradually, but once over that hurdle you will very likely be even happier.
Lynne
I can personally relate to what you are saying but I am not TS, fantasy and reality are two different things, if your TS enjoy your journey
I can appreciate what you are saying and feeling, but we are all on different paths and have different destinatiins. I get that Zen feel.when dressed, and it has hepled me open up to myself and deal with some deep issues, but it has nothing to do with wanting to be a woman, just dress like on. I have never had a inner woman wanting to get out. I just enjoy dressing and am just a.man in women's clothing. I truly enjoy being femme for a period, but I am content to switch back to male mode as well. Whike en femme, though, I do have a very different mindset that allows me to explore deeper feelings.
