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I’m 70 and new to this great forum. It gives me a chance to study and help me get my mind around this part of me. I’d love to hear your responses to the following:
We all know there is a spectrum for those of us in this space….from minor dabbling to full transition and many places in between.
After reading and listening I think I know where I stand. Basically, I really enjoy wearing female clothes including bra, fake boobs, and the rest, but I think I’m satisfied keeping this in the house and in my mind because of the serenity and, yes, the titillation still.
i wear sensible and easy on and off things (wig sometimes but not makeup), and usually find that an hour or two dressed this way is where I fall on the spectrum.
Thought on this?
Joni
Hi Joan
I think it's important that you be you. Be what you want to be, not what you feel you 'ought' to be. And allow for change - just possibly accept that your place on the spectrum might shift over time. I know mine has.
emma x
And allow for change - just possibly accept that your place on the spectrum might shift over time. I know mine has.
As has mine! Still happy to remain in the body I've had all my life but I do need to present more feminine now as much as I can.
That said, our place on the spectrum is only a notional badge, how we feel and how we live is what's important.
You asked for thoughts so here's a parting one, do what you enjoy and feel comfortable with (and what your own life situation comfortably allows.)
Allie x
Hi Joni: I think it’s proof positive that gender is not dichotomous at all, and for the most part a social construct. There are other cultures that recognize more than two genders, in fact.
More so, it makes me wonder where on the scale of gender fluidity each of us lie, from 0 (super strict adherence to societal norms.. yeah, nobody here qualifies for that) to 10 (committed to transitioning).
I consider myself to be a solid 4: I still enjoy being a husband and father, but if I couldn’t be either anymore, for hypothetical reasons I don’t want to contemplate, I’d seriously think about living the life full-time. Giving my life a reset would beat crippling depression for sure.
@mygurl You do you. That's all that counts. Be happy and enjoy your life and don't try to be someone else.
@mygurl Hi Joan, "welcome"! We're about the same age and I agree with many, it's very different for all of us, and ever changing as well, up and down "the spectrum". I've been crossdressing "forever" it seems, and in my younger, early "passable" days of venturing out into the public, to currently, when privacy limits my opportunities to "be Tiny", plus the fact that time has NOT been very kind to this old gurl, I have not lost the desire and pleasure that dressing up offers, and honestly, in my dreams, I'm Tiny, 24/7; yet I don't regret and will take FULL advantage, of continuing to enjoy becoming that woman, that lives happily inside me every chance I get. By the way...this afternoon and tomorrow are looking VERY promising...."wish me luck"....hehehe...and ENJOY...!!!
@mygurl Hi Joan!
I am a notch below transitioning. The reason that I choose not to is complex. I am trying to make peace with where I am. If I was a young person, I think that I would have completely transitioned by now.
Right on. Knowing oneself is a very helpful move up the happiness scale. Granted, it may relate to the age factor but the reduction of frustration for not being "more" and the realism that accompanies it is valuable, in my opinion. Just as other areas of life require adjustments, so does crossdressing. Enjoy what is possible! Thank you for your thoughts.
You're right, we all are different. While many crossdressers go for quality over quantity, I sort of do it the other way around.
I rarely get to dress fully en femme, but I get to dress 100% in women's clothes nearly 100% of the time, at home or while abroad.
Works for me.
Any CD who restricts themselves to dressing at home only can do the same thing, if they choose the right style of women's clothes. Go to a mall and study what the women are wearing, today. Find the styles that you can pull off wearing in public without drawing attention, and go find them. Test the reactions that you get while wearing each item.
Isn't that better, to be accepted while crossdressing more often? I am still dressed nicely, just in women's clothes. Most CDs could do the same thing.
It is certainly a spectrum and one that for me at least moves more to the feminine as time goes on. It was just clothes at first and with a strong sexual component that has decreased over time. It progressed to full presentation with wig and makeup when possible. It has recently evolved to shaved legs with red toenail polish, clear polish on my fingers and a full skincare routine. My thinking keeps getting more in line with what is considered feminine and ,if it was possible, most of my closet would come from the women's department.
I think you've answered your own question, hun. The thing we all seek, no matter where we are on that spectrum at any given time, is to find happiness. ANd, you seem to have found yours. That's what is so wonderful about the spectrum. We can each find our place. Sometimes, over time, where we want to be on the spectrum may change...and that's OK, too.
Like you, I'm 70 and finally found myself two years ago after years of struggling with my identity, with dysphoria and depression. For me, finding happiness took me father into transition. I'm too old to go for full surgical transition, but I've found my happy place just short of that.
Do you and be happy!!!
Much love,
April ❤️
Everyone's comfort levels and personal situations are different and we all settle in to what is our own personal notch on the spectrum. As others have said, you do you. You may change over time or not, it's all good.
I believe many factors determine where we land on the spectrum. Our chosen lifestyle plays a major part. Are you married or single? Do you have an accepting SO? Does your family a roll? Maybe your job inhibits your ability to dress the way you desire. I’m Married with a spouse who accepts just a very little of my cding. I knew this going in and would still make the same choice. But if she did accept more I would definitely be moving up on the spectrum. I would never transition but would love to dress more often and for longer periods of time.
I think my final resting place on the spectrum is yet to be determined
Natalie 💋💋
