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Featured The Thrill is (not) Gone

31 Posts
24 Users
123 Reactions
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Posts: 2154
 J J
Lady
Topic starter
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

With all due respect to B. B. King, is the thrill gone or not?

I was out for a hike fully en femme and enjoying the stroll overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and just enjoy my day out. Smiling and saying hello to people as we passed on the trail. It was just a nice day out in nature, made nicer by dressing en femme. Nobody paid me any (obvious) attention. B.B. King's song "The Thrill is Gone" came on in my ear buds and it got me thinking, is the thrill gone? Here I am having a normal day, the only difference is I am dressed en femme. There was a point in time when doing this got my jeart racing and my palms sweating, but now I am just walking along and enjoying myself.

I certainly do not get the same excite thrill out of dressing as I did when I first ventured out into public, but I am still thrilled to do it, it is just a subtlier thrill. More over a warm pleasentness rather than a heart pump anxious thrill. So yes, the thrill is not gone, but it has changed to a subtle pleasure. How is it for the rest of you?

There was a time in my dressing where the taboo or naughty nature of dressing was thrilling. Wearing a bra and panty to work with nobody aware but me had its excitement, but now I just enjoy wearing such things and I really don't care about the taboo nature of it anymore. The same goes for being out in public. At first it was very exciting, but now it is just enjoyable. The thrill is there, but it has just changed.

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30 Replies
10 Replies
Lady
(@orcharddwee)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Staten Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 81

@jjandme I think this is actually a good thing because it not only normalizes crossdressing for you, but for everyone around you and it creates a more relaxing atmosphere for all to enjoy. As a kid, I found it thrilling and I would get very excited by it. Nowadays, when I go out dressed up I feel very normal, like it's no big deal. Again, I think this is really good for all of us because we don't want to be seen as deviants, we want to be seen as normal people who prefer more feminine clothing. If I get excited now, it's because I'm excited to show off a new look because I love it so much and I want to share. I can't tell you how much my personality has changed to a brighter disposition since I've pursued crossdressing more rigorously, but I bet I don't have to since you probably feel something similar. It's amazing and I'll never stop.

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1433

@jjandme JJ you've just written exactly what I would have said.  It might not be exciting any more, but it's a most satisfying sort of normal 🙂

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3814

@jjandme 

I don't think twice about what I'm wearing.  They're just my clothes.  Sounds sorta boring doesn't it?  It's not.  Living authentically is the biggest thrill I could ask for.  It never gets old.

/LK

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 305

@lizk Wonderful, wonderful response, Liz,

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Lady
(@gorgeousgwen)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Northamptonshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@jjandme I think it may depend on the frequency by which we can go enfemme. It's not that familiarity breeds contempt but perhaps it leads to the normalisation of the experience rather than the highs when the frequency of dressing up is rare.

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Lady
(@nataliecd)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 63

@jjandme I am glad you brought this up as I am starting to feel this way as well. And, to be honest, I want to feel that way. I too started off dressing where it was more thrilling or exciting from the taboo nature of it. But as I do it more, I am feeling like it is a real part of me.

Having the thrill go from something taboo to just being able to go out as a real part of myself and look pretty and be in public is exhilarating. I agree with Orchard Dwee above that this is normalizes it for yourself and everyone else. I'm glad to see others approaching things from this angle as well. And not letting the difference in excitement diminish the desire to go out. 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3964

@jjandme I wouldn't say that thrilling is the right word, for me, because of the way that I dress. I wish that I could say that it was, but I am just not there yet. 

Aside from a few added flourishes that I  have added only recently, such as wearing certain shoes or wearing bold nail polish during cold weather when I can still cover my hands with gloves, my presentation isn't en femme. I can't say that I have ever really experienced that kind of thrill.

You might say that my thrill level is elevated just a bit above normal.

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1765

@jjandme I rarely venture out en-femme so that surge of adrenaline and thrill is still there for me. It's less than a year ago that I first did go out en-femme and that was because a friend dared me. So for me, a trip out in Anna mode is definitely an adventure.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 960

@jjandme Funny, I just walked by a full length mirror before I read this. I am not “dressed” right now. I’m in drab. However my drab is this: Levi’s skinny jeans from the women’s dept. Black t-shirt from the women’s dept. Athletic shoes from the women’s dept. Eyeglasses from the women’s frames section. You cannot see my unmentionables but suffice to say that I don’t own any from the men’s dept.👩‍🦳 No one would know I’m technically in drag. Maybe I’d be thrilled in this getup if I was just starting out but I highly doubt it. There’s not one iota of femininity being displayed here. Clothing has evolved into the crossover stage for men these days. It’s less thrilling but somehow satisfying.

JJ you say you were out hiking so I’m guessing it’s a similar situation with the outfit you wore…hardly pulse pounding the way being “fully dolled up in our doll clothes” would be. And agreed, even that feeling isn’t the same as it was when first starting out. Like any relationship with anything, when the newness is gone it gets replaced by something else as time goes on. Hopefully it’s a deeper satisfaction with it, otherwise it may be time to start looking for another hobby.🥰

GP

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Lady
(@joann73)
Joined: 2 weeks ago

Eminent Member     Missouri, United States of America
Posts: 23

@jjandme I'm still in the heart racing sweaty everything stage. Sometimes I'm so excited I have to calm myself down lol.

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Posts: 151
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 4 months ago

I've only been going out of my house dressed for the past year. The first few times were an intense combination of fear and euphoria. Combined, they would certainly be considered a thrill.  While both feelings are still there, their intensity is somewhat reduced. The thrill is definitely not gone but it's reduction is being supplemented by confidence with each new venture out.

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Posts: 2154
 J J
Lady
Topic starter
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I think it is the decrease in fear we notice the most, and fear leads to all the anxiety we feel at first. Yes, confidence supplants fear, and while still euphoric, it is a subtle feeling of happiness and pleasure that is felt.

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Posts: 810
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I agree, the "thrill" is not as great as it used to be.  I like your analogy of dressing more has "normalized: things for me. I still love getting dressed up whether it is under dressing or fully dressing up. It is still very thrilling to go out dressed as this is somewhat new for me.

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Posts: 1759
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I think some of the "thrill" one gets when first going out in public consists of a lot of fear. One you become confident in who you are and how you present, the fear element subsides and things start to feel more "normal". For me, living full time is it's own special thrill. As Liz said above, "living authentically is the biggest thrill I could ask for. It never gets old." 

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Posts: 316
(@oliviac)
Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 1 year ago

Great topic JJ. Does it matter if the thrill is gone. I don't think so. For me that thrill I think was in a large part because of the fear of discovery and what that discovery would do to my world. I remember the first time I hopped out of the car femme to go and sit on a bench in a deserted park. I think my heartbeat was 200 and my hands were visibly shaking. The euphoria of being out and about as the girl that I am was immense.

OK. Step forward all these years and I no longer think my world will fall apart if someone I know recognises me. The heartbeat is normal. Certainly no shaking of the hands. Instead of a being in a deserted park I frequent shopping centres, restaurants and any other place I have to go to get the things done that need doing that day. While the euphoria is no longer immense the inner happiness I am being the girl that I am is every bit as great.

There are still some moments of a bit of a thrill like the other day when I had my bra fitting the conversation with another lady in the fitting rooms about how uncomfortable bras can be while we were waiting for the sales lady to return. Also just on Wednesday I was having a cuppa sitting in a coffee shop in the middle of a shopping mall when I noticed an old man in his 80's was staring at me. The second time I looked at him and he was staring right at me I smiled a bit (thinking always be on the positive) but he didn't react. I was thinking OMG he's made me here. Seen right through the dress makeup and wig. I uncomfortably had a sip or two more of my tea when he got up and walked straight towards me. It was the way out but even so honestly a bit of the elevated heartbeat and anxiety returned at this point. As he approached me he bent over a bit and said to me "You look just lovely today" then kept walking. There was the euphoria back. The thrill wasn't gone. That made my day and the day after.

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2 Replies
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 1759

@oliviac I love your story of sitting in the ladies fitting room talking to a woman about bras. It is a perfect example of something I really enjoy about being a trans woman, namely those occasions where you wind up being dealt with as just another one of the ladies by cis women. It is such an enjoyable experience.

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(@oliviac)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 316

@d44 Fiona you have hit the nail on the head with your comment. I have on a few occasions almost become emotional with happiness when I have been treated by other cis women as one of their own. One in particular comes to mind where I was claiming some medical bills with our health insurer and the lady behind the counter presumed I was my wife. One of the claims I had to do was because I had forgotten to bring my health insurance card. The lady then made a comment about how men are so forgetful what would do without us. I was part of the us. That was special.

Also those situations that only a woman can be in like bra fittings, having a pedicure or having your eyebrows threaded are just the best. 

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Posts: 1252
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

It's the same as a lot of things, once you get used to doing something it becomes easier. However, just because it's easier, doesn't mean it's no longer enjoyable, in fact, the easier something becomes, the more enjoyable it is, at least for me.

If I don't go out for a while, I get a little nervous when I do, but it doesn't last long and I'm soon comfortable in my own skin.

I don't think I miss the 'thrill', but then I'm not sure I ever had it as I always err on the side of caution in anything I do, and try to make something as easy and stress-free as I possibly can—although that very first time out can never be anything but a little nerve-wracking, at least initially, and I'm glad I no longer feel that.

I think if people get a sexual thrill out of it, that might be different, but that's not something that concerns me anymore—although there was a fetish aspect to the occasional experiment in my thirties. These days, I just do it to be happy and comfortable.

Becca

 

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Posts: 2080
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

JJ -

Thank you for such an interesting topic.

I don't think the thrill will ever be gone for me. I only fully dress at home but it is still a nice feeling to be able to dress and express my femme side. I do go out underdressed at times and have worn women's shoes while in drab. I also wear earrings 24/7 which for me is an expression of my femininity despite the fact that there are men that wear earrings. For all anyone knows they may be CD as well. I think part of the thrill is just the act of dressing - putting on a bra, pantyhose/garter and stockings, jewelry, make up, etc.. I haven't experienced being out in public fully dressed but hope to one day and anticipate that it will be a wonderful, exciting, scary time but worth it. 

XOXO
Suzanne

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3 Replies
(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 305

@cdsue Very well put, Suzanne.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3964

@cdsue I am still waiting to hear about a trip abroad to another city where your wife would let you be free enough to do more.

Fingers crossed for you.

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Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 2080

@harriette thanks - you'll be one of the first ones to hear if that happens, my fingers are crossed as well

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 112
(@shelly-lynn)
Estimable Member     Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Over the years of crossdressing the thrill has changed to just being a normal thing. I absolutely everything about being feminine nothing is better than getting all dolled up and looking in the mirror knowing you just another mature woman. The thrill has changed to pure inner peace and contentment.

Heart

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1 Reply
(@rachelle71)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 61

@shelly-lynn 

THANK YOU! That describes me to a "T".

Even though I'm still taking the little steps towards going out, when dressed at home and looking into the mirror - I just feel RIGHT.

The 90% times I've gone out dressed has felt RIGHT. I think the thrill - and comfort - for me was that nobody cared.

Love

Rachelle

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Posts: 1054
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I think the thrill has just morphed into contentment. I'm still just as happy when dressed. The nervous energy that was there has gone but that's a good thing. In the beginning i had the fear that i didn't belong now i know i do. I'm very comfortable now, when dressed. I think sometimes even more  than i am in drab. 

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Posts: 263
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Honorable Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 1 month ago

i was never nervous about going out. it's more of a thrill. i love dressing up and showing off my stuff. i do try to push the envelope to see how far i can go. that gets the thrill i'm looking for. from going to concerts, tubing down a river, visiting a friend in the hospital, riding my motorcycle, getting pulled over by the police or just doing a girls vacation. all while dressed. i have done so many things dressed. i prefer it that way. i guess i see the world the same as if im in man mode, they just see me as a woman. i like it that way, because i get more response dressed. i'm what i like to think as a fun person and young at heart. i'll be 63 in March. last summer i went to Atlantic City dressed for 6 days straight. the whole week was a thrill. i went on the steel wheel (large Ferris wheel), did a helicopter ride and tried the sling shot. the sling shot was the best. i was dressed, this ride shoots you in the air about 200+ feet and flips you around and around. i had to think how to do this without losing anything. i went to my room, got a bag to put my things in, #1 my boobs, purse, & shoes. stopped at the store on the way there. bought a sweatshirt with a hood. (i never buy sweatshirts). this was so i could put the hood on to keep from losing my wig. it worked perfect. that was a good vacation.

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Posts: 170
Lady
(@leslienix)
Reputable Member     Southport, Merseyside, United Kingdom
Joined: 7 months ago

well we might be trannys, but we go are own route, there is no guide "how to be a tranny"

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Posts: 1098
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

For me:

The thrill changes. Never ends. 

Gisela

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Posts: 1483
Duchess
(@augustvaliant)
Noble Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi JJ,

I haven't been out dressed yet so I can't comment on that thrill. But like many others who have posted here I do agree that anything we do that crosses society's apparent imposed gender border, is very thrilling at first and with many repetitions becomes normal. Possibly for some acts to the mundane.

While I am longingly looking forward to achieving some of those other thrills, I am very content with the things I now consider normal.

My daily/near daily normal concerns mostly underdressing. I wearing panties on a daily basis. When possible I wear a bra or bralette. Including when my wife and son are sleeping. Leggings or pantyhose quite often. And if I am lucky I get to put on a dress or a blouse and skirt approximately once every two weeks for about 3 hours. Even though dressing at home alone is only biweekly, it has occurred enough to feel normal.

Thanks for this topic and for making me think more closely about my "normalcy"

Hugs,

Autumn

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Posts: 1483
Duchess
(@augustvaliant)
Noble Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I can tell I am having a very mundane day today..... thoughts of shoveling snow......

My previous response lacked something important... 

The thrill that is the Pink Fog!

It is always thrilling when it takes me.

Every time!!!

 

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