Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
A few days ago, my beautiful wife of 41 years asked me, Why do I (we) call each other "gal," "girl, "lady," and other fem references while communicating? After all you are all guys? Her question was sincere, no arguing was involved, we talk about crossdressing quite often, she does not get it or understand it, but does try to be accepting and sympathetic (that may not be the correct word).
I told her that we are all a group of similar minded "gals" and crossdressing has a very broad spectrum. As for me, I do not want to be a woman, but I do enjoy dressing as one from time to time. Others are further along, and since we are all imitating or taking on a fem persona, calling each other a gal makes sense, to me at least.
I did acknowledge to her that to someone from the outside looking in our reference to each other may seem strange, but other groups of folks outside of crossdressing also identify by their common trait or interest, name the profession or activity.
In a way it was difficult to explain, and don't feel that my argument was convincing, but at least she felt the comfort to ask, and I had the comfort to explain.
Either way, I am very glad the we are communicating about crossdressing, it is much better than keeping emotions bottled up. My wifey is a great gal, and I do not want crossdressing to come between us.
Anyway, it was an interesting discussion that we had.
Take care, have fun... Staci Gal...
To my mind, it just makes sense to for CDers to refer to themselves with feminine designations, especially when one makes the effort to not only wear female-identifies clothing, accessories, and makeup, but also makes an effort to mimic a feminine figure with breast forms, hip/but pads, etc.
My sis-in-law addresses me with masculine language even when I am presenting as Charlotte, and it does grate on my a bit, but I don't make an issue of it, especially since I am rarely in her company when my wife is not also present, and I simply WILL NOT ask her to make any concessions in this regard. She has already gifted me with expansive tolerance of my CDing, to the tune of allowing me to present as my feminine self nearly every day.
I have seen your photos…you all look like proper ladies to me, so….😀
It appears to be an enigma which cannot be answered to a lay person and perhaps we can't answer it properly either as it is something outside their ideals being hard to comprehend.
Maybe it should be said that it is the club rules and we have to abide by them.....
I can understand, but at the same time, after going through all the effort - the idea that we'd still use he/him/guy/etc is a bit mystifying. lol
For myself, I call everyone 'girl' - and honestly I have to check myself in guy mode lest it slip out! 'Girl' to me isn't 'female child' it's more like, as Ellie noted, 'sis'. If you ever watch Trixie & Katya on YT they're always calling each other Mary. Now, clearly neither of them are named Mary, but it's just how they say, 'honey'.
This is so interesting Staci. I remember when I first joined. I was corresponding with someone here about crossdressing, which was something I had never done and was extremely scared at that point. Interestingly enough they invited me to a meet up since I lived in the same area. It was something I’d always wanted to do, but made up a reason not to go since I just wasn’t ready. Then she said something that shocked me, she called me girlfriend. I found that so interesting that it took awhile to sink in that we were all the same here and we were all women in the other persons eyes. Wow, have I come a long way from that day as a woman. Now I wouldn’t want to be addressed any other way here. We’re all sisters, and we are all women as long as we’re on CDH.
I will generally use the term 'ladies' since many of us are of a certain age, but my wife, when she sees me typing on a forum, asks me if I am on the 'girls' site. I certainly don't think it would work very well if we were to refer to each other by male names or a group as lads/guys/men, I mean what would be the point of going to all that trouble to try to appear as feminine as possible while still maintaining the name 'Brian' or 'John'?
Everyone here is presenting as a woman in one form or another so it makes sense to address them by the gender that they are presenting.
Simple term - Affirmation. There are certainly times where if we were able to be out in public, to be seen as how we feel (whether sometimes or all the time), that many here (if not most, but we have to allow for personal preferences) would like to be referred to with feminine pronouns. That we do it here is allowing for personal affirmations that gives us a sense of acceptance. And instead of saying 'there's nothing wrong with that', I would prefer to say, good, we should be supportive of each other and if certain pronouns allow or increase that support, so much the better,
Because as practitioners of the art of crossdressing, we aspire to be "gals," "ladies,"girls," etc.
It makes a lot of sense to me. It's a habit and a way of identifying myself. I feel good about using feminine pronouns when I'm online. I like being called lady or girl or sister and I try to be reciprocal with others and call them the same. The friends I have met on the Internet call me by various feminine nicknames, in addition to my name Gisela. And that kind of feeds my ego and makes me feel wonderful.
My womanhood is part of my personality when I am cross-dressed and even when I am conversing like Gisela even if I am not dressed as her.
Gisela
What an interesting topic and wonderful comments......
I like using the terms girls, gals, ladies, she, her, ext.. I have a feminine side and by using those terms it helps me to express that part of my self and to acknowledge it. There have been times that my wife and I have been shopping (I'm always in drab mode) and she will ask if Suzanne would like a particular item and says she thinks she would look good in it. It warms my heart when she does that. Being on here for me is being in a girl's club. I love the anonymity as we all only know each other by our female identity (unless we've revealed our male self's to others) and share our journey as crossdressers or trans. I share things here with the other ladies that I can't or won't share with anyone outside of this site (except my wife and therapist).
I think when it comes down to it when I am presenting as Suzanne I am allowing my feminine side to be free. Using feminine terms when addressing my crossdresser and trans friends is courteous and affirming for them.
Like myself I think there are many whom it took a long time to get to the point of self acceptance regarding our dressing and femininity. By using female terms to identify ourselves we are acknowledging and reinforcing who we are.
Be happy and be proud - you are all beautiful
XOXO
Suzanne
When someone here refers to me as sis, girl , babe, darlin, it makes me feel accepted for what I try to be . That’s a very nice feeling. Thank you all!❤️