Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

The worst ‘explanation’?

32 Posts
7 Users
50 Reactions
191 Views
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

I’ve already heard some humdingers of explanations already in my short time here, but, what is your most outrageous attempt at avoiding the inevitable ‘outing’, caught red handed, red lipped, red toed, red everything. Did they laugh? Did you cry? Pray tell. 💚

Reply
31 Replies
14 Replies
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1171

@valentina16 i do apologize but I’m confused on what do you mean or asking sorry 😞 

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@erinb My bad, Erin. Probably a bad question, apologies. I was trying to get to poor explanations of why you were using say nail varnish remover in the bathroom which has that definite won’t go away smell. 

I may delete the Q. #fail 😔

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

Posted by: @valentina16

why you were using say nail varnish remover in the bathroom which has that definite won’t go away smell.

Not to be too pedantic, but our nail polish remover has no smell at all. 

 

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@harriette Mine does. Perhaps I’m using the wrong sort.

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@erinb Actually Erin, Ms Wagner has saved my bacon, see her wonderful answer below. ☺️

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@theunrealangelawagner)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     San Bernardino, California, United States of America
Posts: 1376

When I was in my early 20s, I met up one day with my girlfriend. Right before that, I had dressed up with full makeup. Of course I had removed all the makeup — or so I thought. 

But she noticed that I had a little bit of lipstick on my lips. And basically asked “What’s up with that?” I came up with a weak excuse that it was blood. But she wasn’t buying it. 

And then she came up with her own theory. She knew I was close to my mother, so she figured that my mother must have kissed me out of affection. On the lips. And supposedly that’s where the lipstick came from. The thought that I might be a crossdresser never occurred to her.

So there’s my dilemma. Admitting to my girlfriend that I wear dresses and lipstick — or let her continue thinking that my mother kisses me on the lips. 

I went with the explanation that was less embarrassing. I let her believe my mother kisses me on the lips.

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@theunrealangelawagner I am now glad I asked this Q, for that answer is worth it alone, even if I get only this answer. 💚

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@theunrealangelawagner)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     San Bernardino, California, United States of America
Posts: 1376

I’ve never told that story to anyone. 

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@theunrealangelawagner Seems I’m good at tossing balls up, so to speak, for others to smash across the net. TY, wonderful reminiscence. 💚

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@bellaz76)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     London, Middlesex, United Kingdom
Posts: 362

@valentina16 loving hearing these tales , great thread ! 
 I think my fav tale - not me but hubby told me a year ago (when everything was closeted) and I went away for a few days , he was free to explore , I returned home early, he had bright red nail varnish on so stuck socks on ( middle of summer ) and he kept trying to make excuses to go outside but because I was so excited to see him I kept saying nah don't worry about that etc , he kept trying to find some nail varnish remover to no avail .... it was in my suitcase unpacked , he didn't know this at the time. 
This was a Friday night and he could not escape from me to get remover until Monday work time. He remembers and I remember saying night one ... why the heck you got socks on in bed it's boiling ... he told me he had a bad case of foot fungus .... needless to say he got away with that I stayed well away no more questions from me ... 

 

listening to others stories I wonder how many marriages have broken up because the wife thinks affair ! I imagine many many have . 

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@bellaz76 Laura, am I allowed a slight (excuse the choice of word) ‘titter’ here. Or maybe a full-on ‘lmfao’ moment. Foot fungus??! I will rein myself in until I am given adequate permission to proceed lol x

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@bellaz76)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     London, Middlesex, United Kingdom
Posts: 362

@valentina16 please do continue .... I find it highly amusing 🤣

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@bellaz76 *given his absolute carte blanche to skip, nay run uncontrollably clutching his belly, he starts singing…*. https://youtube.com/shorts/9YhMyTeTjac?si=jw3DkIT8kfQQiFeP

Reply
 Erin
Princess
(@erinb)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 1171

@valentina16 I do apologize I now see the light indeed not sure if it was noticeable but got a surprise visit from my bro and wife mid day I was dressed out when I seen them pulled in i quickly tried my hardest to get the makeup off fast I remember I scrub so hard that my eyes where so red lol I could only imagine what they thought when they seen me lol also a few times I didn’t get all the eyeliner off and was question I just said it must be grease from the truck garage 

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“No, it’s not a dress, it’s an extra long t-shirt which comes down to my knees, keeps me warm.”

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“No, it’s oven cleaner you can smell, not nail polish remover.”

Reply
Posts: 1017
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

I had more than a couple “close calls” in my storied career VV. Thank God I worked in the beauty business as it’s sort of a built in, get-out-of-jail-free card. I was busted for smooth, hair free skin a lot. “I’m helping test a new waxing product.”

One that stands out that I’m grateful for was one time meeting with a top salon owner in my territory. We were walking around her shop and she was placing an order. I was getting bolder and more careless in my underdressing. (Why do we take such chances?😊) I had makeup on, mascara and a touch of lip-something. In drab. Just begging for it. She obliged with loudly proclaiming in earshot of the whole joint: “ ****! -  Are you wearing mascara???”

As the dreamlike sequence unfolded, I immediately came back with ‘Of course not, what are you, NUTS???!!!’ We both locked eyes at that moment and the look of terror on my face was pretty obvious. A couple of the other stylists looked over at us after she said it, sorta perplexed, wondering what was that we heard? The lady read the situation correctly…(of course he’s wearing mascara, not to mention all the other stuff…) After my comment she went right into, ‘Okay, well, lets go check my retail products and see what else I need….’

She totally diffused the situation. I ended up with a good sized order and my bacon was saved. I made it back to my car and grabbed the makeup wipes I kept in it to eliminate most of the evidence. Whew, that was close! She was the coolest salon in town and she knew all the cool kids too. It could have been UGLY. I was always grateful to her for dropping the subject almost immediately.

That story aside, in my long career in beauty I came to find out that many of my customers thought I was a little gay. Some of them would tell me from time to time…”I thought you were gay.” So some noticed the makeup, mascara and such and kept quiet about it. Whenever it was brought up to me I’d say: “What about my wives?” They’d come back with, well, we figured that’s why you got divorced a couple times. They got tired of your bs. Or they were beards. I picked up on it sometimes and thought it funny. But I never minded it much as it gave me the leeway to get away with a lot of underdressing. Let them wonder about me. It was only natural to be visiting salons all day and want to have a little girliness for myself too.🥰

 

 

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

Posted by: @gracepal

Of course not, what are you, NUTS???!!!

…attack being the best form of defence of course. Wonderful reminiscence, ty 💚

 

You worked in the ‘beauty’ industry you say. Sounds a bit like bees (or is it bears?!) around a honey pot?!! 🤪

Take care GP. 🖖

Reply
6 Replies
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@valentina16 Was the best of both worlds for sure. Thank God for hairdressers. Unpaid psychiatrists. They are in close proximity of your personal space the way doctors are. A good one is worth their weight in gold. THAT reminds me of a story.

I met a doctor who owned  a couple beauty shops. Of course I asked, how does a doctor get into the beauty industry? He said he had a patient that he prescribed a medicine to. When he followed up with her, asking if it was working, the patient said they weren’t taking it. Why not? - the doctor asked her. She told him: “Because my hairstylist said I didn’t need to take that.”

He says he realized the power they had when that happened. So, decided to investigate getting involved in the beauty industry - since it held so much sway over people.

Hair is a BIGGIE ladies!🥰

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@gracepal Lovely. And so true.

At the risk of repeating what we both realised was monopolising my thread the other day (!)(it’s my thread so it’s ok!) I will counter with my story about me taking (now not taking) meds (allopurinol) for my painful attack of gout during lockdown. Through lifestyle choice (less alcohol, more water) I reduced the dosage down by 75%. After speaking with my fellow rugby mate on ‘oliday in Germany last September, I stopped altogether, instantly. Because he had stopped. Because of the side effects on my poor abused kidneys. I gave more weight to his advice than my doctor. This I accept was quite quite irrational. But it’s me. Now GP, should we “get a room!” Lol.

ps: you have me at a disadvantage as I have a ‘big parting’ as my darling daughter described it a few days ago. This my friend is why I always wear a hat when singing. 😉

 

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@valentina16 Funny how a lifestyle change can help right? Yet doctors don’t ask that, they usually just start writing those scrips. Bought and paid for by Big Pharma. I’m now the biggest skeptic when it comes to anything, especially medical. We won’t go there as I’ll get in trouble and step on at least one of my girlfriends here on CDH’s toes if they read it.😆 Then it’ll be…ghosted again!!!🤣

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@gracepal no, we live in peace and harmony, most important, ghost or otherwise. 💚

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@valentina16 Oh, I wasn’t referring to you VV, I can already tell you’re cool peeps girl🥰

Reply
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@gracepal 💚☺️💚

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“Women’s top? Don’t think so. Got it from Guys’n’Gals, you know, that new store. Lots of men like soft wool, black-ribbed tops don’t they?”

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“Sports Bra?! Heavens no! It’s a new cycling chest compression top, helps regulate your breathing apparently. Thought I’d give it a go.”

”No, appreciate I don’t have a bike and I don’t cycle, I’m getting some of the gear first…”

”Come to think of it, they do look a bit like ladies tights don’t they! Lol. Definitely said Men’s Leggings on the packaging though”. “Oh, threw that away, recycling, last week”

Reply
Posts: 1828
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

I've not had anyone ask me directly. I was getting changed after a run the other week and I did realise that someone had noticed I use feminine shower gel. He didn't say anything but did glare at me.

My car is quite distinctive so I have the "lent my car to my sister" story ready.

Reply
2 Replies
(@valentina16)
Joined: 1 month ago

Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 801

@annaredhead …Ms Redhead….you, *draws a deep nervous breath* you don’t, you don’t drive en femme, do you”

So do I! Great fun, innit.

 

Reply
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1828

@valentina16 ooh, absolutely! Getting out of a very low-slung car in a dress is a little delicate so tights a better choice than stockings

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“Lipstick? Hell no!! Just getting over this cold thing, sore lips, thought it was Lipsalve!”

Reply
Posts: 801
Lady
Topic starter
(@valentina16)
Noble Member     Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

“0h, the red blotches, around my chesticles, why just there and nowhere else?” “Well, not really sure, does seem odd, it must be the new washing fabric conditioner. I put cream everywhere else.” 🤭

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!