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Therapist reaction

24 Posts
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Posts: 441
Lady
Topic starter
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Yesterday when meeting with my therapist I finally brought up my « interest » in crossdressing. I have been seeing him since this past January but I have not been able to see him much and the dressing is ultimately I minor issue, but one I would like help with.

Quickly he arrived at the same conclusion I had already settled in given how my life is, but I found his interpretation to be a bit shallow and reductive. He saw it as a perfectly normal means of feeling different, unfortunately going so far as to compare it to cutting. I think his advice on the subject is valid but his understanding is insufficient. When I said that I think there is a lot more to it than that (stressing that a lot of my issues are seen through this very specific lens) he was pretty dismissive and saw it as much more a sexual interest than it is.

For a day it felt good to have my conclusion reconfirmed and then I came to work, so women, fantasised about being in their clothes and jut felt the disappointment of having yet another person just not get it. Well, it’s out there and it’s really not why I go so I guess it’s an improvement...

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23 Replies
Posts: 261
Lady
(@phil)
Reputable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I'm sorry he was so dismissive.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Go to another therapist!

It's not helpful to be around people who don't get it.

Love Laura

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Interesting reaction , it's part of you & your life, potentially damaging - I think it's a subject that requires deeper dissection . Therapist I saw definitely didn't play it down

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Posts: 441
Lady
Topic starter
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I would if it were not pretty much impossible, or at least a second one. He has been pretty helpful in every other way (including many that he didn’t initially adequately understand) but this is very disappointing.

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Posts: 42
(@jimthest)
Trusted Member     Charlotte, North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I joined CDH because so few other people get it. We have a world around us that thinks they get it.

This is not new, phrases such as walking a mile in another mans shoes probably go back to the beginning of the written word.

Men passing laws for women to live by, equally oppressive for race and religion.

It really doesn't matter the race or orientation of someone, they are not you. Sure we can all find some things we have in common here, but I doubt the journey that brought us here was the same for everyone. So why should a therapist try to fit anyone to a text book? Even if your therapist was a CD, chances are, they did not walk that mile in your heels.

Let''s let love and acceptance reign over us so we can celebrate our uniqueness.

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Aoife,
I really think you have to be one of us in order to understand us. Even though it must seem otherwise, it isn't about sex.

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Posts: 441
Lady
Topic starter
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Oh definitely! I know a lot of girls seek out therapy to help with this and it seems to be positive. It’s disappointing he was not more receptive as I think this relates a lot to my self -worth/self-hatred and family issues. When all he has to give me is the advice I am following already... well at least I had the experience of telling a (I think) second person about this huge part of me.

My next appointment is only two weeks away and I don’t see any reason to press this but it will come up again and I’m curious how that goes. Even just phrasing it a different way like « when i really wish I were a girl, » the response could be different. I was a little overcautious in my language to not lead him into the transgender idea, but it may have sounded overly recreational.

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Posts: 3843
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I'd view your therapist's response with a big dose of caution.  If you get a similar response the next time, you should start looking for a new one.

I got out of therapy about 8 years ago because my therapist had no skills to work with a CD.  It took many months of independent research to realize I was wasting my time and money.  He made no attempts to learn or refer me to someone who could help.  Fortunately he was helpful with some other issues, so it wasn't a total waste.

I recently started seeing a new therapist that specializes in helping transgender people.  She's helped me more than anyone to accept and understand the person I'm becoming.  For the first time in my life, I know I'm going to be okay regardless of where my journey takes me.  If it weren't for Anna, I probably wouldn't have the confidence to be on CDH and share my experiences with all you wonderful gals!  In my opinion, anyone that wants to discuss gender issues with a counselor needs to find one that knows their stuff.  Anything less is a waste of time and is potentially damaging.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Emily , great points , I too saw a therapist with no experience - she admitted that & wasn't a problem so we covered other issues . I then sourced a gender therapist ( who is actually 5 minutes from home) , this made so much difference . We were/ are able to hone in deeper into my crossdressing / gender fluidity 💐 Tiff

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Posts: 2144
(@cyberian2)
Noble Member     Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Aoife........... don't feel "odd" about the therapist. It is a subject that most don't know too much for concept or information about CD folk. It means to know cross dressing goes with to genetics/enviromental, psyche and very little of sexual. If you ask to me, for you are shy to ask.......I am my am very knowing all about this.  My door is always open......popped a come in.

Dame Veronica

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I have had considerable interactions with therapists.  IMHO, there are many incompetent therapists and some excellent therapists.  The challenge is finding the competent therapists who can help your particular situation.  I said somewhere else on CDH, many so called therapists get their PhD out of a cereal box and should not be allowed to have contact with the public.  OTOH, the good therapists seem to be swamped, and it is difficult to get an appointment and see them on any sort of regular basis.

One of the worst examples was a girl in my support group.  She and her wife saw a clinical psychologist who told them the CD was mentally ill and needed to be "cured."  The marriage ended in divorce, and she always wondered if that could have been avoided, had they seen a competent therapist?

My own experience?  Most of them talk a good line of B.S. and accomplish little to nothing, except for draining your insurance and/or wallet.  Nevertheless, I keep looking, and right now I am optimistic with one I have located.  Time will tell.

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Go en femme, I dare you  ;0)

He should quickly change his mind if you present it right!

Love Laura

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Posts: 441
Lady
Topic starter
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Thanks! I’ll probably stick to this one for now but I will probably consult you and project unity when I move next!

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Posts: 1748
Duchess
(@985anythinggoes)
Noble Member     New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Therapist are a dime a dozen! Find one you like and understands you and your needs. You'll get much better results! Kisses!

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