This is how my day feels

It's a long day ahead at work for me. They all are. I take comfort in knowing that I get to go home to Amelia. I think about her all day long and the things I can do to bring her out a little more and make her happy . She will have to wait patiently, as always, even when I am late. I do look forward to seeing her soon though. As my day finishes i have to make one last stop for some groceries and something special for her that I know she will love.

As I enter the apartment there is a box with something special for Amelia waiting by the door. I am a little excited for her but not as excited as she is waiting for it to arrive. I bring the package in and she opens it to find her first dress. Something that she owns and has wanted for a long time even if she didn't quite realize. I watch from close by as she quickly changes into her brand new dress in front of the mirror with a huge smile on her face. I can see the glee and a touch of euphoria as she slides it over her head and lets it fall into place. We both take a moment to take it all in, a dress of her own. I can tell by the look in her eyes as she stares in the mirror that she feels instantly more feminine than she ever has. This is a significant moment for both of us that gives a tremendous sense of joy.

I know she wants so much more like shoes, makeup, hair and of course some jewelry. She also knows that she can not have it all at once and understands but it does make her sad. It makes me a little sad too because i know how happy these thing will make her feel. I know that Amelia will only gain confidence when she has some of these things to make her feel whole. It is difficult because i want her to have everything she needs to perhaps one day be able to leave her cell and not have to wait for me to come home. Right now i can offer the little gift I bought while shopping. Its not much but she is happy with her new little bottle of Hypnotic purple nail polish. It excites her because its such a pretty color and she likes the practice of applying it. I stand back to watch and let her have her time for now. Its her time only and ill fade back into the corner for a few hours.

Time passes and she knows it will be over for today but she tries to squeeze every last minute out of her evening. A twirl in the mirror to watch the dress, flashing her nails in the light to see the shine. Her day is done and painfully she must go back being the woman in waiting. We both hate this time but is becoming an inevitable ritual that we understand and accept for we both know that while we both exist in one body we cant yet be one outside. We are not ready for that so sadly the night falls on us both as we look forward to another day together.....