This is not political...I just wondered what's happening???

Grace, I’m a fairly new girl on the block. I understand your comments. I continually want to make contributions and respond to comments. Me personally? I am someone who loves football, singing , church and politics. I am not a member of any political party but I would class myself as a Right wing Conservative. Some people would label me as a bigot, but I hold strongly held views. Don’t want to offend anybody on this page.
Girls for what it’s worth I’ve no intention of leaving this page, that’s if you still want me
Thank you
Elizabeth

Grace,

I don't know either, I'm afraid. This is a sad moment, and I feel like I'm tiptoeing around the place thinking what to say, without someone thinking ill of it?

“Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost, and what you’ve taken for granted.”

Marti xxx

It's not all about pink mist, non existing dates or knicker questions. Perhaps a bit more political or day to day problems would make things a bit more interesting.

Hi Grace, i thought this was a site we could talk about our crossdressing, not about saving the world just about saving our sanitary,

The thing is we can't placate everyone some people will take offence in the smallest things, me i just come on here to chat to the girls,

Huggs Roz X

That should say Sanity , I should use my dictionary more often X

Thanks Grace. I to am puzzled, What has offended my best friends and favorite contributers t the discussion at CDH. I love you all.

. . Casssie

Hi grace,I think that your always going to get heated debates on forums like you said and me personally would just not get involved,(scroll past)in the short time I have been on this site I have learned so much from you fantastic girls and I would hate to see it ruined by experienced girls leaving,all my love Dee xxxxx

Thank you, for saying what I am thinking, Grace.
I too am pussyfooting around, not sure what will be acceptable, and missing so many of our sisters, I have stated before that I felt the cancel culture had found it's way, here, and I'm afraid it has/is come to pass
Hugs, Regi👸💖

Grace, first - hugs, I am sensing a need there.

In answer to your question it must be remembered that we girls don't live in a vacuum. The culture around us (at least in the USA) is deteriorating. Part of that is the "cancel culture" that attacks the free expression of ideas, disagreement (without being obnoxious), opinion etc. "Out there" we live in that cesspool. As much as we might try, we do bring a certain amount of that spirit here.

Proof?

Do you grow pickles in your garden? No, you grow cucumbers. How do cucumbers then become pickles? They get pickled by being surrounded by brine. The same principle works here.

As I understand it we have moderators that moderate activity here. But the best moderation is that of the self by ones self.

I was taught when a child, "it's not what you say, but how you say it," that is important. As a person of deep Biblical faith (yes, and yet a member of CDH. God has a sense if humor does He not?) . . . back on point; I think of this bit of wisdom from the Scripture, " let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt." It seems often that truth is being lived so that speech is more and more salty and less and less gracious. Sadly, salt is good, but when one uses too much is spoils the food rather than enhances it.

Question? Is too much salt here lately?

Kindly,

Charlene

Hi Grace,
Polly and I are deeply concerned!
What's going on? I sincerely hope Stephanie or Amanda decide not to leave. CDH would be forever poorer if that happened!
Love and hugs from Stephanie and Polly 💖

Hugs, Regi👸

I must admit to being too wrapped up in work and memories of a fantastic weekend to have properly noticed - although I have seen some rather snipy posts recently, but to all involved in the squabbling...

Laura is very disappointed.

Almost as disappointed as I am with myself when I get squabbly and objectionable. Which has happened - I am not perfect, what can I say?

I don't want anyone to leave - you are all my best sisters in the whole world, intelligent human beings, as individual as stars and fingerprints - and all equally valid and valuable, no matter what those differences are 🤗😚😍😍😍😍🤩😘😘🤗🤗

Love Laura

Thanks Regi.
Love, Stephanie 💖

Grace,

I’ll offer a few thoughts….

As individuals, we are all on a journey of some kind every single day of our lives, and what we are experiencing in our lives is largely unknown to many.

I’m still pretty new here, 9 months or so since I joined CDH, but even in that short time I’ve had several friends disappear.  Some for totally unknown reasons that weren’t shared or even hinted at, they just vanished.  Others, who were struggling with ‘acceptance’ of their feminine side (whether ‘just’ crossdressing or actually considering transition) just reached a decision where they felt CDH was too much of a temptation for them as they were trying to squelch their feminine (an on-line purge if you will), or to reach some kind of acceptable balance with their SO who saw CDH as competition for their attentions.  Sometimes I think that people who are in such situations may be waiting for an opportunity to leave in a face saving way and an argumentative or contentious thread (regardless of the actual subject) provides a way out for them.

Then there’s the diversity of where everyone is at on their particular CD journey and what their interests are at that stage.  Acknowledgement and tolerance of this is sometimes lacking.  One may be bored by yet another forum topic of panty choice because that was 30 years ago old news for them and they’re sick of it coming up again and again…but to the newbie, this is the first time they’ve ever been able to discuss such a thing with others of the same ilk.  And though trite to the old-timer, it is incredibly exciting, and meaningful, to the newbie.  These differences in perspectives are, I think, sometimes insufficiently self-recognized, which can lead to difficulties when the two interact - especially in a public forum exchange.

I think of this often (in a broader sense) when I find myself getting angry at someone or judging them (hard as I may try not to, I confess that this happens on occasion).  We just don’t know what is going on in the lives of others and that emotional outburst or seemingly outrageous or uncaring comment or action that someone delivers ends up triggering an ‘in kind’ response in defense, and things escalate from there.

For me, one particular event highlighted my failures in this regard, and it changed me.  A car passed me at high speed on the shoulder of the road narrowly missing me and throwing up all sorts of debris that hit my car as he flew past me.  I had every judgemental and unkind thought you can imagine, and verbalized the same.  I was able to follow this car as it was making the same turn ahead that I was when it jumped the curb and pulled into the parking lot and the driver bailed out of the car before it had even come to a stop and ran toward the building.  It was a hospital emergency room - clearly someone he loved was there and the situation was grave.  I felt particularly small and ashamed at that moment and realized just how much we don’t know about what is going on in the lives of those we interact with - especially their angst or suffering which rarely shows in any obvious way, or worse it shows up in a way we misunderstood (that reckless driver isn’t a jerk, he’s a husband or father desperately trying to get to his injured loved one).  So on this point, I think sometimes a forum post is made by someone who is suffering in some way, but the post itself isn’t explicitly revealing of that, and the dialogue that proceeds results in hurt feelings - I believe many times totally unintentionally (at least initially).

It takes a great deal of discipline to try to communicate in a consistently kind and understanding way - especially when there is disagreement.  But I think we owe that to each other, in life yes, but especially so in here.

Be willing, and open, to understanding the struggles of our ‘sisters’ in here - even though they may be very different from our own.  Acknowledge their journey and the path they choose to take - even though it may not be the path we choose.  And most importantly, love one another.  People will leave CDH for many reasons, but it is up to us to ensure that one of those reasons will never be that they weren’t loved in here.

Be kind.

Marcellette

I haven't been a member here very long but have been on many forums over the years and it seems disagreements and ruffled feathers always happen. Its going to happen sooner or later. Those who are the most offended will take their ball and leave and the ones who let comments roll off their backs will remain. This isn't saying one is right and the other wrong but I think its just a normal evolution of any group of humans. We are complex and this group may be even more prone to having feelings hurt real or not. Everything changes all the time.

So untwist your panties girls and shrug it off. Enjoy what we have and don't sweat the details. All of us make our own decisions. This is a free site for most of us and a great meeting place for discussion of our lifestyle. I don't feel so alone when I come here. I've had posts deleted, disagree with some things, and have said some things I probably shouldn't have, but I'm staying. I hope you do too.