This Thing We Do

We all have our reasons and the only thing we can be sure of this is this , we do it because  we were born this way

Great topic Rach and so pertinent - thank you!  Mostly I will define myself through my behavior, but am more than happy to explain who I am if others ask.  No, I do not feel a need to explain myself, but I do love to shed any enlightenment on others when I can.  And that requires communication, which requires words, which will lead to labels.  That's all fine as long as we realize what the labels all mean, and that our own "labeling" of ourselves may change.  My own label changed as I evolved and became more aware of myself - and as I came to understand the meanings behind the words.  I always knew there was more to me, but society defined what i did as crossdressing - a "transdresser?" - since they did not really know me.  Now, thanks to my time here and the insight it's given me, I know to define myself as transfeminine, or transgender.  I have evolved, certainly I have become less ignorant about the terminology.  Labels can be fine, they are just words, and we need those to communicate how we feel with others.  All that is needed is the understanding of the words, and the person behind them.

Stevie

I'm not so sure. Nature or nurture? I've been wondering this for ages. My current leaning is towards nurture.

Maybe when I feel confident on enough on CDH to post that much personal detail I'll give my reasons. Watch this space.

Labels? I'm a crossdresser, a transvestite, autogynophilic, a transvestic fetishist. Those labels don't bother me. Being called a deviant or a sissy etc would bother me (a little) if it ever happened, though I'd have to admit neither would be entirely inaccurate. It's not so much the actual label, it's the intent of the person using it.

Connie

xxx

Hi Rach,

thanks for the topic, it’s one that’s near and dear to my heart lately. I’m very much still figuring things out so what follows is how I understand things today.

Every YouTube Gender Therapist that I’ve watched says “If you think you might be trans then you probably are, it’s an umbrella term”. They also often remind the viewer that you don’t need to do any form of medical transition to be “trans”. So Based on that, a couple of months ago I accepted that I was in fact trans and not someone who enjoys the art of presenting as a woman without the desire to be one. But trans-what? Maybe just trans with a side of non-binary? Right now what seems to fit most are the following terms: questioning, gender fluid, non-binary and trans-feminine. My eye however, is on “binary trans-woman” and sometimes I use that to describe myself but there are still questions and to some extent, decisions to make, about how far I am going and how much change I am willing to accept into my life situation. The trans woman label fits most comfortably when I can fully be myself which is telling.

I think in reality, I’m a binary trans woman living a gender fluid lifestyle.

lol, what a mess. Yet somehow I have more clarity now around who I actually am than I have for the last several decades.

— Abbie 🥰😘

I agree in one respect, Connie - as a naturist, I find it difficult to believe that the desire to wear specific clothing is inherent.

Those clothes were designed and marketed to make women feel and look more attractive.

However, the desire to be a different gender on a biological level I would see as nature - it's not something I feel, so don't want to debate it, it just seems sensible.

Since this is primarily a cross dressing site, I do think that there is a nature aspect - we are expressive, artistic creatures, and the need to self express is fundamental to being human. We need to do it as much as we need to breathe, eat or recycle...

I would argue that to stifle that creativity is to suffocate the person, and in all probablity leads to all kinds of mental health issues.

As Shakespeare said "All the World's a stage".

Love Laura

Sticks and stones can break 0ur back ,but words can never do , but can sure hurt at times I'm a crossdressor or transvestite something I gotta live with

Wow, Stevie, thank you for all of that.

I want to touch on something you wrote... "trans-dressing" haha. I think maybe you're onto one reason we end up with confusion among ourselves.

Are crossdressers transgender?  Seemed obvious to me, but I see many others here that define things differently.  This is why this is all relevant to me, Stevie.  How can we know what options in terms of lifestyle choices are available to us as transgender people if we close off half of the playbook before we even consider it?  Aren't we doing a disservice to ourselves and our community when we reject some silly term out of hand before we understand what it means?

I'll let CDH answer these questions. And I thank you for expanding the questions we are asking.

I don't really understand why either, Sam.  Maybe that's part of why I've asked these questions.

Is it the general feeling that crossdressers are somehow separate from the rest of the TG community?  I see things around here, comments like "just a CD" and I can't believe anyone would ever think like that, just want to give them a hug!  But if that is how many or most feel about things, I guess I'd rather know now before I waste my time talking about things that I think matter and nobody else does, haha.

This thing we do, sure...this site is named Crossdresser Heaven, but is that what it is, really?  Aren't we all transgender first, inherent in our makeup, before we even start to choose whether to express that or how?

Maybe I'm off base.  Dunno.  I hope the site will tell me.

A few have suggested maybe TGH is a better fit for some of us.  Is there such a divide in our community?  If so, what created it?  Could it be those evil labels I keep hearing about from staff, you know, the ones the site literally uses in its name?

Like I said, I dunno.  I don't get it sometimes.  Lil help, please.

Connie -

I related to your answer, "expressive artistic creatures." That sums it up for me. I have lived my life as a man and will continue to do so, however the wonderful expressive and creative feeling I get when I dress as a woman is exhilarating and I see no reason to deny it. The feminine mystique comes front and center when I transition in Angela. The ritual; body shaving, makeup, picking out an outfit, the feel of womens clothing against the skin is something that I am glad I have the opportunity to experience. Very liberating for an Alpha that has pulled the yoke hard and provided for family for many years. Not looking for more.

Hi Rach,

I was a child of the sixties, and was lucky with the people I met, and the places I lived and willingly embraced the counterculture.

I describe myself as an old hippy these days. Is that accurate? Absolutely not. I've also been called a freak, a beatnik, a long hair, a drop out, a free spirit, a commie b*****d, a flower child, an anarchist, crickey even in those days a puff or a tranny. The list goes on.

At first I was keen to define the nuances of what I was or wasn't, but finally stopped bothering. All that people wanted was a label. Some or all of those terms might have applied to me to a varying extent, but none of them encapsulated me, and in the end, my response was "whatever!". So my shorthand description of myself nowadays is the term that most people recognise, even if their own understanding is by my reckoning not going to be accurate.

As I explore this world, here we go again. Like you, Rach, I've an urge to accurately define myself as what or who I am or aren't. But if transgender is the word that people understand better than the other synonyms or micro definitions, perhaps I should learn from my past and say "Transgender? Yes, whatever!"

Marti xxx

Just being who we want to be Rach, not who we are supposed to be. Breaking free from societal gender stereotypes that bind us to a certain lifestyle. Facing obstacles ( many in our heads) and resistance along the way, but facing it together❤️

Mostly a secretive part of our lives so hard to talk about with colleagues, friends or family. This site gives us that outlet to chat with others about this. 🎼We are family, I got all my sisters with me..., sure families sometimes have fallouts but that’s where our ambassadors come in, like parents, ‘come on now play nice!’

Labels? Call yourself what you want, if you are comfortable with it who are others to challenge it, it’s your body, your lifestyle, your life. I am Bianca, I am transgender, deal with it!

❤️B

What am I? Hmmm, that's a tough one. I'm the proverbial woman trapped in a man's body so I guess the term would be transsexual. I've been this way as long as I can remember and as Sam said I've probably been this way from birth, it's the way I'm hard wired. The process has been a long one filled with guilt, fear, rage, self loathing then finally self acceptance, the most important step of all. If you don't recognize and accept yourself then how do we expect the world to. I guess I should be on TGH but I've been here so long this is just home to me now.

For many here I think some terms upset them beyond crossdresser. Some see it as a diversion as they are male enjoying a temporary state of mind as women. They definitely dont want to be seen as gay or transexuals. Being gender fluid my whole life I have no problem with any of the labels and dont mind what I am called. For me I adore being a woman most of the time so I suppose I am transgendered and remain proud of that fact eventho I have no plans to transition .

Hi Rach, good topic! I started really young, way before puberty. My first "O" was when wearing a pair of my sister's satiny panties. So, it became a sexual release for a while. At some point as an adult, it changed into what I experience now. I desire to be as closely resembling a GG as possible, and while there is a small component of eroticism, that isn't the end goal as it was years ago.

Now it has become a primal need that is so deep-seated and integral to my personhood that I can't suppress it any longer. I don't just want to dress as a woman, but I want to live as a woman. Whether that will happen, I don't know, but I need to explore my femme side as much as possible.

Hugs,

Brielle