Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Those moments of the deepest envy...

9 Posts
8 Users
0 Reactions
97 Views
Posts: 441
Lady
Topic starter
(@vanillaballoon)
Honorable Member     Nashville, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I know there are some justifiably varying feelings about genetic women here, but for those whose aligned with mine I am wondering about the times when you most wish you were one of them. I can’t be the only one who has had those times when your admiration goes into certainty of their superiority in every single way and jealousy that you can never be a part of that. I’ve witnessed childbirth and feel envy towards the most naturally-gifted women I see (especially the one I’m married to), but there have been bigger, less specific cases and that’s what I am thinking of.

the biggest was one night when I was 25 and hosting a big party at my house for a completed cinema project. A band featuring four of my female friends (though one now identifies as non-binary) played that night all in matching pink leggings and black tops and put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. I should also mention I was on acid that night. Even as this movie I played a large role in screened to great appreciation all I could feel was, « I’ve got nothing. » All the ways that women are better was just staggering. It was humbling and depressing to know I could never match up. The best we can do is try, right? Even as sure as I am that I would never want to fully transition I see doing that as not only admirable, but noble.

Reply
8 Replies
Posts: 128
Lady
(@lori_stark)
Estimable Member     Long Beach, California, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I totally relate! When I'm dressed I usually feel as if I am just an imitation, and a poor one at that. True femininity will always be out of reach for me. I wouldn't say I'm envious when I see a pretty woman. Wistful, maybe?

Reply
Posts: 1700
Hostess
(@pattygurlcd)
Noble Member     Louisville, Kentucky, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I know what you mean Aoife,

I don't know I would say better, just a different way of doing things and my o my what a wonderfully different way of doing it.

Don't get me wrong being a gg has a lot of tough challenges we cannot understand,but I would so love to be a real woman.

They are incredible.

Patty

Reply
Posts: 1700
Hostess
(@pattygurlcd)
Noble Member     Louisville, Kentucky, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Tiffany ,

I am definitely jealous of your courage and knowing what you want.

You have definitely inspired me.

 

Patty

 

Reply
Posts: 556
Lady
(@lannab)
Honorable Member     Allentown area, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

In total agreement here!!! When I get caught looking at other women i tell my wife, I don't want to be with her, I want to be her!! And then I get that look from her and a shake of the head LOL.

Reply
Posts: 1781
Lady
(@ohlivialivin)
Noble Member     Norfolk, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Its all true and yes there is some envy at times. I take some solice in knowing, through conversations, that at least some gg feel the same way about men, and what they have or can do.

Thr grass is always greener?

Reply
Posts: 2144
(@cyberian2)
Noble Member     Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Aiofe.....I am happy that you had a great time. They all have things that would envy of you too!

Live in the joy of the moments.

 

Dame Veronica

Reply
Posts: 2296
Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I've been wearing pantyhose with high heeled pumps and a shirt that looked like a short dress since I was 4. When girls began wearing nylons with their little short dresses, skirts or shorts and their little heels, I was so jealous of them as they went proudly prancing about showing them selves off. I would rush home, slip on my pantyhose and think of them. There was so may to fantasize over it never seemed to end and there was always new ones. I wanted to dress like them, do what they were doing and look like them. I was only able to do that at home.

At 17, at the coercing of a girlfriend I began wearing pantyhose out with guy shorts and guy clothes. Once I got past most of the fear and reservations I had about doing this, I decides it was time to upgrade my look and show off my legs better. I bought some short girl's shorts. Getting the nerve to wear them with pantyhose took a while and pushing through a lot of fear and reservation, but I eventually did it. I loved it but my shoes were awful. I had to upgrade them. Girls' were wearing platform wesdges a lot. There was some I really liked I had to get them.

I don't know where I got the courage, but I put on my pantyhose and short shorts and headed off to the shoe store to try on and buy a pair of wedges. I located the one's I wanted. They were too small I had to go up a couple of sizes to find ones that fit. I was so excited walking around the store checking out my legs in mirrors from ever possible angle. I had to have those shoes. But wait, there was others I liked just as much in my size. I had to try them on and see which ones I liked best. I did the same thing with each pair and tried each pair on several times. I noticed people looking and some were right around me but no one bothered me. After a couple of hours I decided I just couldn't decide which ones to get so I got all 6 pairs.

it was the same fears and reservations over wearing the wedges with my pantyhose and short shorts. it took several false starts, then just a little more each time until I was out wearing them. My envy and jealousy of girls waned. I was wearing what they were wearing and showing off like they did.

I decided I was going to take it further. I was going to try on more shoes and buy more shorts and pantyhose in my outfit. I had some really teeny shorts I didn't think I could wear out unless I covered them a bit. I had several shirts that did that well. It often looked like I was wearing a short dress. It took a lot of getting my courage up but I tried on and bought a few more pairs of shoes and several pairs of pantyhose. I was all pleased and happy with myself. I thought I was comfortable dressing like that and buying more clothes until one day a girl asked if the pantyhose I was wearing is what I was buying? I had a total panic attack. I put down the pantyhose I was going to buy, hurried out to my car, got in and drove home, swearing I would never do that again. A few days later I went back in the same attire and bought the pantyhose I left behind.  I was hoping to see the same girl again but didn't.

Then I was hoping someone else would ask me about my pantyhose or shoes. I swore I would handle it better. The next time it happened I was just as panicked and wanted to run off but I forced my feet to not move.  I talked pantyhose and even got a date out of it. Several times women told me I had nice legs. if their legs looked like mine they would show them off just like I do. They asked if the pantyhose I was buying was what I was wearing. They seemed to think I was a girl or just didn't let on.

Then one day while on a cashier line waiting to pay for some pantyhose, a girl behind me asked if the pantyhose I was buying was what I was wearing. She was thinking about getting some and wondered what I thought of them. Conversing with her a while she realized I was not what I appeared to be at first. She thought it was a great look but was confused as to why I just didn't dress fully as  a girl. I told her it's not that I wouldn't want to try it. Maybe I just haven't gotten there yet.

Over the next several months she helped me go fem. We bought all kinds of pretty and sexy clothes. I got some awesome, sexy pumps, some great dresses, skirts and tops. A few matching bra and panty sets and a bunch of panties and bras that were not matched sets but were pretty and sexy on their own. A couple of wigs and some makeup later I was dressed as a sexy girl. It was so exciting and such a rush and thrill like noting else.

Then my first outing fully fem was for a Halloween Party at college. We went as a couple. She was they guy I was the girl. I was a big hit girls teased and aggressively hit on me constantly. Guys wanted to get to know me and do things for me. I had girl power. I hadn't expected that. Girls told me I had great legs. They loved my shoes and pantyhose. My hair was very pretty. I looked very sexy. Guys wanted to get me anything I wanted, they complimented me  on how pretty and sexy I was and wanted to get to know me better. That was crazy but so fun. I even met other dressers who invited me to join them at dress up parties they often had. That night I won "best legs" and "sexiest costume". We also won for best "couples theme".

I began dressing often at home. I got out as often as I could. I partied as much as possible. I was always popular and never had trouble getting attention, date or anything else I wanted. I became the girl to be envied. My pantyhose was much nicer then what most of the girls wore. My heels were higher and sexier. My breasts were very nice and ample. My dresses and skirts were super short, barely legal length, my hair was always looking great in a wild and sexy way. I was the girl that got the most looks, most compliments and attention. I wasn't envious anymore. I was the one being envied. It was crazy getting there but so much fun and a thrill and rush like noting else.

Reply
Posts: 224
Lady
(@stevie65)
Reputable Member     Vegreville, Alberta, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

That envey gets translated into doing better and trying to be more like that wanted woman/girl. It is something that is wished upon and given. I strive to want that envy from others but yet still envy those who have it. Many many times I wish I was a total woman see there is that envy again.  Some day.

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!