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I really want to dress up and I'm getting depressed because I can't express myself at home, at least for the amount of time I would like. I have to be careful at home because my mom isn't ready to cope with it, and I don't know how my brother will cope. I don't have a place where I can go anytime I want to be alone to dress up, practice my makeup, my voice or my feminine qualities. My oldest brother and his wife are openly supportive of my choice, but do to certain circumstances I don't always feel comfortable at their house. I have a friend, not too far from me or my brother, that has helped me go out in public dressed up, helped me buy dresses and just wants me to be happy. She and her boyfriend have told me that I am always welcome at their house, but she's unavailable at times ( which is understandable ) and I don't want to become a burden on them. My closest cousin lives in Georgia and she supports me and wants me to be happy and comfortable, but she is rarely available. I don't know of any places in Alabama that it's safe to cross dress so I'm scared to go into town as Lily. I'm sick of letting depression drag me down into a pit of self loathing. I'm sick of waiting to see the real me. I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of pretending.
Lily
Hi Lily! As Kermit the frog said.....it is not easy being green. You live in a state that has a lot of old fashioned ways and resists change. I guess that is a place that has a lot of tradition and old world charm for some people. Unfortunatley, it makes it tough for more modern type thinking and behaviour. No offense intended to Alabama and the folks there. I have enjoyed southern hospitality any time that I was there. Do try not to let situations make you feel down or inadequate. Avoid places that bring you down and hastel you. Seek out better places to go. Makybe to another state if all else fails. I would bet there are girls at CDH that can recommend friendly places to you. How about it girls....any Alabamans out there who can help Lily out? I keep my fingers crossed for you sweetie. Good things come to good people....keep your chin up.
Lady Veronica
Lily : society has its cruel side and it effects in people's minds can be taunting. It becomes difficult to express one's self when friends and love one's cannot accept our passions and show support . Leaving one to deal in thoughts of depression and anxieties and being alone hurts and something that unfortunately just isn't going to go away. Keep looking as our family stretches all over and I'm sure in time you'll find someone close to you. To have someone to share our love of dressing would be wonderful but at least know you have many at Cdh and we're here for you to help all we can. Best to you and hope your journey travels on easier waters.
🌹
When I was young I, too, was frustrated in trying to find the time and place to express my feminine need. It wasn't until I was living on my own that I could, and even then I was restricted due to the way people viewed a crossdresser back in those days. It wasn't until my late forties that I was finally able to fully embrace my feminine need. Sad. When we're young and look our best we're restricted so much.
