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Another year goes by and tonight is fall back time change I soon be 40 in a few months and started to think about how time seems to fly by anymore know a days I remember being young and the baby of the house hold I use to go threw the garage sale clothes of my older sister and hide and wear pants or shirts looking threw my moms draw and nylons today never worn not sure why but as time went by I soon grew out and hung out with friends but then my sr year when I meet my first SO I use to wear her thongs to school as she did my boxers not sure why but like a tv remote it clicked again that it wasn’t about her thongs but how much I loved dressing many years went by wasn’t till I meet my second SO that it hit me hard I remember my first outfit was a red leotard and fell asleep in it and woke up and realized I absolutely love dressing like a women after that I got worse and grew more and more and as time went on make up came forms outfits came out you name it even pierced my own ears then time hit again and a dark spot where SO was not supported and questioned a lot I mean a lot and then things kinda settled down and I tired to forget about this style but after awhile time hit again and I went full out and came out to my SO that I absolutely love dressing like a women she still don’t accept or support but understand my feelings and allows know today ever moment I can run to the closet to put an outfit on I do so even if it’s only for a minute but I sit here today and think about time and the way I transformed threw time to make Erin today what if I just made Erin in my younger days who or what would I be today guess I never know that answer as most I’m sure as well unfortunately we don’t have a Time Machine to go back and see dose anyone else have thoughts if they could change time to back in time or be content of who they are today we all think we have the time but do we guess time will only tell TC lady’s
Thanks Erin for a very thought provoking post. I’ve often wondered what I’d be like today if I’d had the chance to actually turn myself into a proper woman like I have for the last 2 years. For one thing, I think I could be a lot better looking with smooth skin and no wrinkles or bags under my eyes. But on the bright side, I’ve had the opportunity to live a wonderful life with oh so many caring friends and relatives. If I’d have dressed as often as I do today, I’m sure my life would have been different, and I’m so lucky that I just want to say, I wouldn’t change a thing.
@jennconn thanks for sharing I completely understand but disagree with the comment about being a better looking lady you absolutely stunning and gorgeous seen your public pics first hand would be hard to say how life would have been different back in time my SO told me if she knew what she did today we probably would have never got married so indeed that is a scary subject
@erinb I agree, Erin. Jennifer is as beautiful as can be. I'm with you, hon!
And yes, for those who have a SO, the companionship is pretty hard to beat, no matter under what the circumstances. At 68 yrs old, with how I need to be authentic as Dani with my dressing (90%+ of the time), I've accepted the solitude and push away loneliness, remembering to be content and satisfied in all things, as do millions of others.
Dani
@danikiss22 I just saw your comment above Dani, that is so nice, you’ve made my day.
@danikiss22 SO are a hard one to break there usually in it or absolutely hate it thanks for sharing with use 🤗
I don't regret not dressing in the past, it's a 'now' thing, someone to be in my dotage. In years gone by I have done a lot of things, not many of them could easily have been done en femme; indeed, with a couple of things, dressing as a woman would have completely put the mockers on those activities.
Any dressing I did in years gone by was aimed solely at an alternative sexual satisfaction and as soon as the desire was quenched, it was back to being male with no further thought, unless it cropped up again.
No, cross-dressing is definitely for me as an older (wo)man who has little or no romantic desire anymore; fortuitously, since 'that' doesn't then get in the way.
Becca
There are always those 'What if's'. naturally had you had done something earlier in life then that would have changed the course of your life for yourself and others, as at the point you make that decision you will have family, friends and so on.
I would be naive to say that those thoughts you write about aren't the same as I and many have had. Indeed I would love to have been able to make that decision but the reality is that my true self evolved over a long time and has worked out well for me, with few regrets.
Thank you for sharing! My strongest crossdressing tendencies have happened in my 30s, and even stronger in my 40s. I'm out to my SO, and venture out dressed (on my own). Countless strangers, store clerks, random people have seen me dressed. But no friends or extended family. I worry that by the time I am ready to be fully out, I won't be able to wear the beautiful high heels I have collected and treasured because it doesn't get easier as we age. Time is moving much faster than I want. Don't let the time lapse hit you as a surprise.
I think you’re an “old soul” Erin. Your post made me think of this: I know where I was on my 42nd birthday, how the day went, where I went to dinner that night. I know what I ordered - linguine and clams - and I know who I was at the restaurant table with. I recall our waiter smelled like he’d been smoking pot on his break.
Why do I say this after your post? Because it was 25 years ago now and it seems like it happened last month. That’s how quickly your next 25 years are going to go. You will be thinking, as I do, I seem to be missing 10 or 15 years somewhere. Those years went by like a blur. I don’t know where they went. It’s that quick.
So, don’t pine away for the past cuz it ain’t coming back. Go out and be your best girl today, while you can still put your makeup on without glasses. While you can still rock those miniskirts and have the legs to do it. It’s all about the journey girl and you’re in your heyday right now. Enjoy it before it’s gone.
GP
@gracepal yes indeed a blink of an eye seems like years anymore I completely understand like I say I’m out bungee jumping and need that shove off the ledge for the trill and excitement any takers to push me off that good ledge lol 😆
@erinb The closest I’ll ever get to a bungee is the waistband in my pantyhose Erin. I think it’s great though. Hey, how about jumping off the ledge dressed AS Erin? Double the thrills!🥰
There's a saying, "The days are long, but the years are short." Or sometimes "The days pass slowly, but the years fly by."
I have seen too many times the so-called butterfly effect, where small things end up with big consequences. So I'm not one for wanting to go back and try to change anything. I am who I am and have the experiences I had because of the choices I made.
I know that I didn't have the opportunity earlier in life to dress. Attitudes were different, phones were attached to the wall with a cord, there were no home computers or internet so there was no online community or online tutorials, family took priority, living in a community where many people knew me, not knowing there were others like me other than the occasional entertainer, all worked against wanting to do anything in public. So going back in time wouldn't really change anything anyway.
I'm happy where I am today. I don't want to try to change the past.
@alison-anderson thanks for the reply I truly understand where your coming from indeed
