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To tuck or not to tuck. Is that the question?

43 Posts
24 Users
156 Reactions
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Posts: 784
Lady
Topic starter
(@sashabennett)
Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Back when this was all a bit new to me I came across an article where someone said, why would you bother with tucking when you are at home, there's no-one around to notice so what's the point.

At the time that seemed like a sensible opinion. Unless you are out in something tight enough, like a bikini, to warrant the need for a flat appearance why go to all that trouble? Once I bought my first gaff though, just to see what it was like, I decided I liked the look with dresses & especially leggings.

These days though I find my opinions have shifted somewhat. It seems it is now more about my self image than simply appearances. Right now I am dressed pretty much full time at home & even when I go out I always wear my sports bra with enough padding to satisfy me without looking so "mooby" that it raises eyebrows & wear a gaff & panties more or less full time. It feels like I am about where I want to be right now but back then it would have been way too much. What was going too far at one time now seems like the norm & I can't help wondering if this kind of progression will continue & where it will lead. 

I'm pretty certain it won't go further than cross dressing & even if I wanted to take it further it would be unlikely to happen as, when I last looked there was a 10 year wait for even a first appointment with a therapist in Scotland so that boat has well & truly sailed. 

So, I guess my situation is far from unique but has anyone else suddenly realised that things have progressed way past where you first thought it would & how do you feel about it?

X

Sasha

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42 Replies
15 Replies
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1740

@sashabennett I don't necessarily tuck, but I'm usually held pretty flat by what I wear. In the winter months, (opaque) tights keep me under control. In the middle temparate days (about mid fall or mid spring), control top pantyhose does the same thing. If I go bare legged, I'll usually wear a panty girdle. These do require a bit of turning down, but not necessarily tucking up.

If I go with swimwear, I have a special pair of gender bending g-string panties. These have an extra piece of elastic running vertically from the waistband to the g-string. This elastic holds me tight and creates two pouches for the guys. They are held tight to the body (rather than pushed back in) to create the appearance of female genitalia.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3976

@sashabennett I tuck, to one degree or another, whenever I can. Most of the time I insert the testicles whether they will be seen or not. Sort of I can, so I do. It's mainly for practice because most of my clothes wouldn't reveal the bulge anyway.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@sashabennett 

I don't tuck, primarily because I find it feels quite uncomfortable. Instead I wear four pairs of firm control shaper pants, which seem to do the trick well enough.

To answer the question with which you closed your post, I think that most of us would probably say that our crossdressing develops over time in unexpected ways. It doesn't seem so long ago that I never imagined setting a high-heeled foot outside my own house, but I did it. In my opinion the desire to develop our dressing rarely stops and, if I'm honest, at times I feel somewhat confused by it. But I also mainly feel that it's right for me, because it's who I am.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@jacquelinelarkspur Hi Jaqueline, actually the closing question was the real question I was posing here, so thankyou for noticing it. I think I was getting too clever with my title & it took off in an unexpected direction. This was more about growth & progression than the gritty details, the tuck was just an opener. I'm going to have to work on my titles in future! I also can't imagine setting foot outside the house, certainly not in high heels as I'm 6'2" already but at one time I couldn't imagine any of this so who can say. What feels right today may not be enough tomorrow. We'll just have to see where the journey takes me.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

Posted by: @sashabennett

What feels right today may not be enough tomorrow.

Yes, exactly this. It's human nature to be curious, to explore and push boundaries. I think this applies just as much to crossdressing as to any other endeavour.

 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3976

@sashabennett I used to be 6'2”, but am 5'11" now, so there is hope for you yet. 😄

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@harriette Well gosh! Maybe I can lose the clown feet at the same time  😆

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(@cdashley)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1487

@sashabennett For me I don’t own a gaff but have thought of purchasing one. I find with my panties and a pair of control top pantyhose I can keep things pretty flat and tucked away with no discomfort at all. If anything I like the feeling of my things held in place. As far as progression since coming out to my wife I’ve found that I do dress more often and love being out either fully dressed or wearing women’s clothes, makeup and perfume while still presenting as a man. Over time I think most crossdressers evolve in some way. Panties and a bralette daily , keep my toenails painted and eyebrows shaped in a more feminine way.

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@cdashley I guess painted nails may be the next logical step, if there is any logic in this at all!. Makeup has never been a thing in our house, my wife has never worn it other than on our wedding day & a photo shoot so it's never really been front & centre. Eyebrows could be a good call though....

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Lady
(@denises924)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 210

@sashabennett 

Hi Sasha
Even though I have been at this for a while in some form or another, I never thought I would join a platform like CDH and actually engage with others. It has been about 4-5 weeks for me here and I am enjoying it thoroughly. I can honestly say, I would not have seen that coming even a few months ago.

Denise
❤️

ps. great question 😊 

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@denises924 Hi Denise, good point! I had been concentrating on clothing & lifestyle & such like but never considered my online presence which has been quite a lot lately, I always thought of it as more of a by product than part of it but now you've mentioned it I realise how big a part of things it is. I am so glad I found CDH though as I was becoming disillusioned with platforms like reddit as most of the posts were coming across as attention seeking, validation or getting too radical. It's so nice to actually communicate with real people again.

X

Sasha

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@sashabennett 

Hi Sasha, 

So I don’t tuck as I have tried it and found it really quite uncomfortable. I may not have been doing it correctly, but it just didn’t feel right.

When I’ve been out I’ve worn some hip pads which are a quite similar style to cycling shorts, but they definitely keep things under control.

As for the final part of your question, well yes, things have progressed way beyond the stage I ever thought that they would. 
Only a couple of years ago I just dressed for fun a few times a year and probably wouldn’t have even referred to myself as a Crossdresser. Fast forward to now and I’ve been out to shops and coffee shops, although not for a few months now. I feel as if female clothes are “my clothes” and just prefer being dressed as Lucy.

I’m no nearer working out why this has changed, but I’ve stopped being concerned about it and just go with it

Lucy x

 

 

 

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@lucyb112 Hi Lucy, that all sounds very familiar, with the exception of going out. I know just what you mean about them being my clothes & it doesn't feel like it's even a thing any more. At one time that would have been an outrageous thought but there we go, the times are certainly a changing! As for the tuck, if it's done right it isn't even noticeable, with the right garment but it does take a bit of practise. It's the same as clothes for me, just another part of life now.

Sasha

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(@tinytinkerbell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     SF Bay Area, California, United States of America
Posts: 203

@sashabennett Hi, Sasha....it may not be immediately obvious to many, but when "Tiny" is included in your name, it's primarily due to the fact, tucking IS and NEVER WILL BE, an issue for me, and I've been crossdressing for well over 40 years.  In my younger, "passable" years when ever out in public view, I made sure I never dressed in anything that would matter, nothing clingy or skintight...almost always conservative, business-like, yet pretty enough to show off that woman who lives inside me...!!!  I was curious once enough to purchase a "gaff thong" just to find if there was any added value in my appearance and, at least for me, there was none...I thought a pair of panties worked just fine, end of discussion.  When you question if "men are created equal"....sometimes, at least for me, it's not necessarily a bad thing...!!!  Wink Tongue Out Happy Woman Face

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1188

@sashabennett I wear leggings a lot so tucking is mandatory for me.   I have found thong panties that give me a lot of what I am looking for and along with my leggings, I get the flat look I want.

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Posts: 363
Duchess
(@shadowqueen)
Reputable Member     Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Sasha, I only dress at home and the only one who sees me is my wife. I still like to tuck almost all the time just because it makes me feel better. I like the Smooth look, I hate the bulge, probably because I suffer from dysphoria. Same as you it’s much to late for me to change so tucking is the best that I can do.

hugs

AnnaBeth

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2 Replies
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@shadowqueen Hi AnnaBeth, we can only do what keeps us happy & dream our dreams of a bulge free existence. It sounds that, like me, you have an understanding SO which is very much a blessing & makes life so much easier.

X

Sasha

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Duchess
(@shadowqueen)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Vermont, United States of America
Posts: 363

@sashabennett Yes, it does make life easier. I can’t imagine trying to be myself without her support.

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Posts: 3381
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

For me it is a sense of purpose to have a flat front for the correct image as much as a proportioned breast is important to me.

No one will see, unless I go base over apex and inadvertently show off my derriere. 

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Posts: 268
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

For me is a sense of accomplishment, I love to wear leggings and having a completely flat front is just flattering, even with a tighter skirt or a fitted dress, got to look like a real lady.

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Posts: 1439
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Tucking for me feels like it's being decided by my male brain, depending on what I'm going to wear.  For example, my denim fit & flare dress doesn't need it at all, some outfits need a little care with flatness, but for leggings nothing less than the full gaff will do it.  That statement comes with the caveat that it could be just 'for now' though, because to me the more important question is the one you pose in your last paragraph. 

I know what you mean about taking a mental step back and thinking, how did I get to here?  I realised today, in simply following where the enjoyment has led in the last couple of years, I've now acquired quite a collection of (at least the basic versions of) all the feminine 'kit' that's needed, plus the ever-expanding wardrobe and shoe rack.  I do so much now that's feminine behaviour, that just feels normal and natural.  I'm a different person when I'm in a dress, and I love it 🙂  Maybe that will come to shape my standards for tucking in future!

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Posts: 183
Guest
(@Anonymous 91593)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

I'm firmly down the middle on this one . In the colder months I wear mostly lycra leggings . That's a definite tuck . In the summer , bikini bottoms , again tuck . However on other occasions it's just too much effort lol. Today I'm wearing a knee length skirt thats close but not tight fitting . Untucked doesn't show and it so comfortable .

One thing I don't own are any kind of "male panties" or gaffes . For me , they're just not girl clothes although I do understand why some see that differently . 

Time and place for all options I guess x

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Posts: 2088
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

 I don't tuck most of the time but then again I don't really have much to tuck ( as I get older there is some shrinkage). That being said, my dresses and skirts are not tight so there is no need to tuck with them. When I wear slacks, jeans or leggings I wear a pad which gives me a smooth front. There is a little tucking with that but not much. Also I only dress at home so it doesn't make a difference if I tuck or not as the only one to see me is my wife. The only other time I've dressed is therapy sessions and that is in a dress or skirt which is loose enough to not show anything. 

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 46
Lady
(@amysmissy)
Estimable Member     Warwick, Rhode Island, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I find tucking to be uncomfortable.  Mabey I'm doing it wrong I don't know.  But like others here, after a pair of shaping panties and some tights theres nothing too noticible.

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Posts: 183
Guest
(@Anonymous 91593)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Hi Sasha,

My crossdressing has evolved way further than I ever thought possible, and I’m fine with that. Our explorations should be fun and progressive, but I do wonder too, what’s next? I think when we get to this point, we should just simply be patient and maintain what we have until we can explore some more, whatever that may be. 

It often drives me bananas that I have a full house at home all the time, while trying to figure out how and when I can sneak into the closet to try something on, talk about patience, lol.

So on the topic of tucking…I never thought it was possible until I tried it. Seeing how everything disappeared with a gaffe was pretty cool. Definitely a game changer for dressing up. Thanks for sharing!

- Tamiya 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@tamiya4u Hi Tamiya, It's certainly been fun & progressive so far & each small step seems to take me further down the rabbit hole. Right now I can't see the end but it's scary & exciting at the same time. I feel for you about the full house. I am so lucky that I can do what I want, when I want & it would drive me a bit cuckoo to have to work around others. Good job you are patient, it wouldn't work for me LOL.

X

Sasha

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Guest
(@Anonymous 91593)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 183

@sashabennett I hear you about the excitement and scariness. That’s definitely the rush that keeps us going.

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Posts: 136
(@ajthairms)
Reputable Member     Poole, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 12 months ago

Generally I don't tuck; tights hold me in place and usually wear dresses or skirt&tops. I've chosen clothes that are not too tight and don't reveal as sign of 'the bump'.

The only time I tuck is whenI wear skinny jeans, I use the top part of a part of tights a size smaller than normal for a gaffe 

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1 Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@ajthairms Whatever works for you. Like I said though, it's more about my self image these days rather than purely cosmetic.

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Posts: 1221
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi girls,

I am a trans woman, and an intersex female.  One of the "blessings" from being that way is when I hit puberty I developed a pretty bum, hips, thighs, B cup boobs and I have very tiny private parts that are easily "disappeared" by simply wearing snug high cut panties. I have to wear pants as part of the uniform at work, so I wear a style of yoga pants that are tight as leggings but flared at the lower leg. How does it look? I never have problems with ladies restrooms, and some of the ladies I work with think I've had bottom surgery!

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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1 Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@reallylauren Hi Lauren. I can imagine that, at puberty I might have thought differently but at this point in time I would very much consider your situation a blessing. Not having to get all padded out to make clothes fit properly is something of a dream for me so I must admit to some small amount of jealousy (in the nicest way of course) 

X

Sasha

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Posts: 789
Lady
(@michaela2001)
Noble Member     Goldsboro, North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I have never tucked, the thought of it fills me with dread. It's bad enough accidentally getting the jewels caught between your leg & a chair, without stuffing them into a confined space. 🤣

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2 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5121

@michaela2001 I avoided tucking for a VERY long time simply because it SOUNDED as though it was going to be horrendous.

Then one day I just thought 'dammit, let's give this a go' ... and found out, for me at least, it was both very easy and incredibly comfortable. Perhaps I'm just lucky; my testicles are not in the least claustrophobic. In fact they seem to actively enjoy confined spaces.

I know that isn't the case for everybody. However, my advice is to give it a go. You might be surprised 🙂

Ellie x

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@michaela2001 It's not as bad as it sounds 😀 With a bit of practise it is not even noticeable, Think of it as protecting them from the outside world 🤣

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Posts: 879
Lady
(@mary)
Noble Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 4 years ago

I don't tuck. Especially in summer when we regularly hit 42c. Go completely Scottish under the kilt go to speak. 

Winter time often sees the boys doing a natural retreat. 

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1 Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@mary I could go Scottish as you say but what separates me from the rest of the Hairy Arsed Scotsmen then? (Apart from not being hairy arsed LOL) Also it never gets anywhere near 42 here. Hit an all time record high of 22 last year!

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Posts: 863
Baroness
(@chloec)
Prominent Member     Lakeshore, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

it's all personal preference, I suppose, whatever makes one feel better about one's self.  I've been tucking for years.  Tough to remember the first time, I suppose I was worried, nervous, whatever. But I've been doing it now for so long, it's just one other step in the process of dressing, which I try to do about 3-4 times a week. I happen to like the smoothness I can achieve, just makes me feel better about myself when I can see no lumps...and without extra appliances like gaffs. As mentioned above, aging does provide some assistance in that area.

I'd also like to remove all my facial hair, as to me. it's just a necessary evil to have to shave every day. I do try to keep 'extra' body hair to a minimum if I can, like on the torso which I also don't like at all. I did once have a mustache and for an even shorter time a beard, but it was just for the experience, and I was thrilled to remove both.  

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3 Replies
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 784

@chloec Hi Chloe, Agreed, it is just one more thing in the morning, these days at least. It just made me wonder how, at one time it was new, now it's a daily routine. What does this mean for the future. What is going to be the next new thing & how long will it be until that is the norm as well. How far will this whole thing take me & do I really want to go there. Do I even have a say in it? sometimes I get nervous of the possibilities......

X

Sasha

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3976

Posted by: @chloec

I do try to keep 'extra' body hair to a minimum if I can, like on the torso which I also don't like at all.

I was surprised as to how slowly the hair between my bellybutton and groin grows back. Next is my upper abdomen to my sternum, then the area from my breasts to below the clavicles.

I need to apply the IPL a lot more to my chest, to try to avoid the pain from the epilator, but I am still focusing on my legs. I am almost impressed with them, now.

 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3976

I hope to wear stockings on this weekend, so I have been going heavily at the hair on my legs for the past few weeks. Mostly the IPL, but today I used the epilator, too, because there seems to be tiny stubble that refuses to go away. Then I used a hair removal cream until I ran out of it.

The legs are fairly smooth, now, but there is still more work to be done on them.

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Posts: 26
Lady
(@mseva)
Eminent Member     Portsmouth, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Yes, to tucking. Always have and always will. Just feels natural to me.

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