Trans friend's do guys like me offend you and what

HI Erica,

Thank you for sharing your story.

It must be so nice to be able to have open conversations with people from your past and be truthful and accepting .

I am so happy how our attitudes in this country are evolving Its great.

we have a long way to go but its al encouraging.

Patty

I believe that creativity, self expression, self determination, claiming one's power or rights is not a zero sum game. One person or group doing something good for themselves does not take something away from another group. That said, appropriation is a subtle issue that requires the examination of intent. If crossdressers intended to weaken the position of trans people, that would be a serious matter, but I don't believe that is the case.

- Robyn

Hi Erica,

Thanks for sharing your story.  So sorry to hear you lost your best friend Dave.

Alice

Interesting point of view, some of his friends have. Personally I think that the more men that choose to openly express themselves in a feminine light the more normal society will look at it. I think it would aid the LGBQT movement. Yes it shows differences between different dressers but that's true in every community.

Look at the cycling community for example there's roadies, mountain bikers, tourers and commuters. Those that prefer to wear lycra and shave there bodies, and those you are just as committed who prefer regular clothes. As a cyclist I don't spurn anyone who rides, just wish more would use proper lights and safety equipment.

Love Trisha

I think that shows how far apart we still are, even for purple who are somewhere within LGBTQ+ Community. I do not understand how me dressing like a girl because that's how I see myself in that moment takes away from anyone else. I cannot understand what I'm doing that takes anything away from what you/ they/whoever are doing. Like Robyn said, this isn't a zero sum game. I have heard a few times that some in the gay community do feel that way though. Can anyone explain why,? I'd really like to understand it.

Bridgette doesn't get it

Sadly the LGBTQ+ community is much more fractured in this respect then we would like it to be - more fractured than it should be.  I've watched enough trans vs crossdresser things to see that.  From what I have come to understand ( admittedly limited as it is ), many in the trans community look at crossdressers as a fetish hobby and as belittling and taking away from the seriousness of being a transgender person; giving the trans community a "bad name" sort to speak.  And of course society just can't help but fight amongst itself to start with.  All  very counterproductive in the long run in my opinion.  We all - both my crossdressing and trans sisters here at CDH  - manage to get along quite well,  maybe everyone else should just try a bit harder.  It is possible for people to get along with each other,  you know.

..... just my opinion 🙂

Stevie

I haven't met a single person in the LGBTQ+ community who isn't understanding and supportive.

Our stories are the common link - we discover something about ourselves that the wider society has traditionally had issues with, and much of our journey is spent in dealing with this and trying to find some way of expressing it.

What we do is Drag, and Drag does not have to be an expression of sexuality, although that's the most common way it's portrayed, especially with the rise of Ru Paul.

Why do some of us want to dress even though we might be heterosexual?

Because we do.

Because we admire women so much, our role models are female rather than - or even as well as male, and we wish to express that admiration via imitation, perhaps.

From my experience, the LGBTQ+ community embraces us as sisters.

Love Laura

I think you've hit on a very complicated issue here. Over the years I've befriended a number of trans women and even dated one, so perhaps more than most "outsiders" I relate to the myriad societal, emotional, and hormonal issues related to transitioning. I can understand how some can justify this sort of sentiment, and particularly in light of several recent and well-publicized (and paid) cases who shall remain nameless... yes, I can see how the issue of appropriation might be seriously considered.

Nevertheless, the LGBT community should know better than most the damage that can be caused by denying the self-expression of another. Crossdressing in itself is not a gender identity thing, it's not an appropriation thing, it's not something that most of us choose (at least initially). It just kind of happens. And to blame us for expressing that part of ourselves is, in my opinion, a sort of bigotry and hypocrisy that borders on heterophobia and does not belong in the community. As has been said so often in these forums: it's just clothes, why should it matter?

Curiously, I've been put in the reverse position before. One running joke in the community (at least in my neck of the woods) goes as follows:

"What's the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman?"
"About two years."

I could have taken offense to this, I could have said they were belittling my way of life or trying to appropriate it. I chose to laugh it off, it's funny in its own way. And really, doesn't the world need more laughter?

Hi Erica I'm sorry to hear about your friend it's hard when we lose some one we have known and grown up with,

The thing is i think your other friend is wrong when he says that you are taking something away from the LGBQ community when you dress up in your female attire, I'm like you I'm a man who likes to wear womens clothes nothing more nothing less, we are all individuals with individual tastes and shouldn't be put into boxes and told this is your box and you have to stay in it,

Well enough of my rants it's nice to meet you we are like one big happy family on here so come in and join the family xxxxx

Hugs Rozalyne x

Erica,

I too have experienced a similar reaction, and I also don't understand it.  I prefer women's wear, but do not mask that I am a man. As such, I have verbally attacked by those in the CD community. I am being true to who I am, that is all. Personally, I find such attacks to be hypothetical - how can one expect society to be accepting if one is not accepting of others who are different.

MacKenzie Alexandra

Yes as a gay cd and active in LBGT I have experienced the same prejudice coming from the trans community towards cds. I love experiencing the art of femininity and the trans girls see us more like guys playing out a fetish role and not serious. Thankfully that is starting to change

You know it's pretty bad when we can't even get along in our own community. I'm trans and I'm bisexual but I don't look down to say your just playing around to get your jolleys, no. This community has gone through a lot to get to the point we can walk down the street and feel safe, never mind accepted. I've been told I'm not trans because I can't transition fully due to medical reasons, well trust me in my mind and that's the most important place I'm all Heather. Now, enough of this, we must help and support one another. We've still got enough people in the world who don't like us never mind discriminating against ourselves and yes as it's been mentioned I would say 99.9% of trans people start out as crossdressers. Crossdressing is definitely an evolutionary thing, most of us started with that pair of panties maybe some nylons and it progresses from there. It's up to the individual as to when you say this is good for me.

Alright, I'm done, I'll be quiet. Once again, big mouth Heather. Love to all.

Thank you. I do have to say that after we finished talking we both had a better understanding of each side. I personally am ashamed that at one time I had friends that were afraid to tell me or talk about the fact they were gay. I know I have grown and become better at understanding that everyone is different and no one should have to be afraid to just be themselves

Thank you. I can't believe how close to my own words what you wrote says. I am one were part of the reason for dressing is because I believe the female body is a work of art and am just fascinated by it. My first time crossdressing was in my early teens. I had been hanging out at a girlfriends house and she wanted to go swimming in their pool. I only had my jeans so she said here just wear these and threw me a pair of boycut type swim bottoms of hers. From that day on I was hooked.