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Transference, what stands out for you?

7 Posts
5 Users
11 Reactions
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Posts: 379
Lady
Topic starter
(@leainvancouver)
Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 1 year ago

Transference is a psychological term when we look at someone and feel we know something about them, positive or negative, sometime a bit of both. 

When dressed in drab I am often seen as fatherly, grandfatherly, or just some old white dude. When I’m dressed en femme I get a very different reaction. I get many more smiles from women and girls and a few sideways look from men. Even though I’m 6’5” I’m seen as less threatening and allowed to take space as a woman. 

What responses from the public stand out to those of you who switch between male and female presenting? Which do you like or felt most comfortable with? Have you experienced reactions you didn’t feel comfortable with?

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6 Replies
3 Replies
(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1205

@leainvancouver My experience with women when out dressed is similar to yours.  I really enjoy the smiles and acknowledgement I receive from other women.   It gives me the feeling that I am being accepted as a woman by them which is a wonderful feeling for me.  Unfortunately, I don't have any CIS women friends in my life as Lauren, but I often think it would be wonderful.   To have women friends to share experiences with and learn from directly would be amazing.   Men aren't all negative but I guess my expectations are low so I tend to avoid them.

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Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@lauren114 thank you for your reply. I hope you make some gal pals and get enjoy a girls night out or have fun with them in some way! We can learn so much from them. It’s validating to have our feminine accepted and acknowledged by the feminine.

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Duchess Annual
(@isabella22)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 186

@leainvancouver my experience is the same. Without any exchange of words, sometimes i feel that there was a connection of some sort through body language.

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Posts: 232
Baroness Annual
(@conniech)
Reputable Member     Fairfax , Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago
Thanks Lea. I do relate to your height  (6'3" me) and en femme reactions. I've experienced mostly comfortable - for - me reactions from people.
 
Psychology Today discussed transference and projection. Brief definitions and examples. 
 
TRANSFERENCE
Transference is a phenomenon in which one seems to direct feelings or desires related to an important figure in one’s life—such as a parent- onto another person.
 
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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@conniech thank you for the link Connie. I should have included an explanation of transference in my question. It’s amazing what a change we see when we dress up a bit and out in some make up! The whole world looks different.

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Posts: 1230
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Lea, I am a transwoman, an intersex female, and have been living as such for over two years now.

I came out where I work and was accepted, affirmed, validated and welcomed into the sisterhood. It probably made it a lot easier due to my being intersex as my facial and physical features have always been on the feminine side. I'm only 5'6" and 170 lbs and can speak in a feminine voice.

The reception and response from almost all women I interact with is always positive. I give and receive complements freely and there are lots of smiles! I thoroughly enjoy girl talk with them, and I can say to anyone that it is a genuine fact that girls have a lot more fun!

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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