[Closed] Wanting to be a woman?

You need not to emulate anyone, other than your self.  Be who you are and others might follow.

Hi Eva transitioning is a slow process and will provide you with plenty of time to explore becoming the woman you aspire to. Have courage and become your gorgeous self as many millions who have/ are transitioning discover.

Hi Eva,

The only woman I ever desired to be, is the one I am now! I knew, from a very young age, that I was supposed to be a girl. After that being a dream in the back of my mind, until she let me know she couldn't wait any longer, Lauren was set free to transition and become the woman she was born to be, legally a female. There was never any time in my life that has been better than this!

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

Oh gosh, there are so many women I would like to emulate, both in appearance/style and in personality. But I don’t live to be a mimic of others. I do try to learn from their examples.

I'm transitioning because I want to be more like me.  My authentic self.  That comes from within.  I know I'm trans.  Emulation isn't a requirement.....although I'll admit there are women I admire.  If you're going to transition do it for the right reasons.  Naturally, I think you should talk to a gender therapist before doing anything.

/EA

Hi girls and thanks very much your responses and wisdom.

Eva

You'll never be happy trying to be someone else. My Terri says that if born a girl, she'd look like her sisters, short and overweight.

I wouldn’t transition to be like someone else but rather to bring out my correct authentic self to me. There are many women I admire and respect but definitely do not want to look like nor be in their shoes.

In your "male" days was there many men you wanted to emulate? Probably not, I know I certainly don't, so why would we as women? You do need to emulate any particular woman, but just women in general. It is those general female characteristics that many want or desire, not a particular set of them. As has been said here many times, you be you.

Wow!  This is one of the very basic philosophical questions that I think we all have internalized.  It might start with, why do I do what I do?  As you can see from the answers already given, the responses vary widely.   To the ones who have come to a solid conclusion I say congratulations!  For myself I don't know how they did it.  I have spent considerable time thinking this over.  I have an answer but it is fluid from one day to the next.  I think I know what I am.  I don't want to "be" a woman.  But, by the same token I do want to present as close as possible.  I have a real problem trying to pass but oh, how I wish I could.  To me even a partial pass where it might take a double or triple take to clock me for sure would be a success for me.  I worry that most often it is very obvious that I am just a man dressed up as a woman.  This is part of the reason why I have to go out.  As difficult as it is in public, it is the only true objective test of how I am doing.  Dressing at home is great but I think there is a trick of the mind that takes place where I feel much better about my presentation than it really is.  An outing can lead to everything from euphoria to depression.  The difference in my physiological reaction tells the tale.  Sure I enjoy a dress up session at home as much as the next gal but man when I have set a goal to go out the intensity really builds as I get my kit together.  I shake, I sweat, I palpitate, unlike when doing anything else.    There are so many variables that you might run into.  For example I am sometimes drawn to rather skimpy outfits that don't work for me at all but if I am in private somehow I feel like they do.  At 70+ I have to be more careful going out.  Maybe if I had come to grips with my tendencies earlier in life I would have decided on a full transition but for now I am comfortable being a man and doing my best to present as a woman.  Not to fool anyone, my voice and face just don't pass, but rather just to be me.  I am willing to admit that I have not completely figured it out yet.  The journey continues and I am learning every day, working with what I have to the best of my ability.  Thank you Eva.

JJ

Yes, but conditional! For say 24-48 hrs. As a full genetic female, inside and out with the looks  and body of say Vanna White, Christy Brinkley, Farrah Fascet or Heidi Klem.  and experience sexually as many men to take me as their women to date wine dine dancing and made love to me in that short period of time. I always wondered what a women feels inside her body when making love.

Enter stage right Genie and magic lamp😉

JJ, thanks very much for your response - I really appreciate what you had to say - it is the essence of what I'm trying to understand, about my confusion.

Eva

Hi JJ and thanks.  There have been many men throughout my life who I've wanted to emulate, but that's because I felt like if I could be the men they were or my interpretation of who they were, I wouldn't feel like a woman.  So, in that sense it's my insecurity of why I wanted to be like them in order to quell my angst of feeling like a woman.

Eva

Hmm a complex question there. First of all you feel you want to be a woman so you have that instinct that this is the correct thing for you. Relating to women is another aspect to being part of the transition, well that comes from within, your psychology and how you associate with women already. I found that I had many perceived female attributes, empathy, sympathy, and a caring nature. I felt comfortable in their company,non sexual, and could sit and chat with them and they did not reject me as a male with them in a group as I was not a threat, as one could say. Then physically I am not overly alpha male and quite an average womans size so I had many attributes that could be seen as advantageous to being a woman.

Emulating is another aspect which implies imitation, SRS and hormones would do this for you but what woman do you want to be and emulate? It could be akin to hero worship such as a celebrity but in a sense I think you mean when you look at women you know there are few that you would like to be but there are some, I note your name came from a girl at school you admired. I used to look at the other girls when I was young and what they wore and some had things I wanted to wear and some not and some who I would like to be but not others.

At the start as a child I wanted to be like them and as the years went by I began to develop the person I wanted to be and the trying was quite interesting. Visually I was going through looks that I had seen and applied them to me. Invariably it didn't quite work and eventually I began to develop my style which was taking the bits that suited me and it all came together. Trying to change the person underneath is difficult but I had enough traits to assimilate as a woman. Once out I could use my traits to advantage and got a better understanding of how women worked and adapted it to my psyche. Then by listening and knowledge known with knowledge gained I could understand the issues they have and how they converse which made it even easier to sit and chat about things like a woman does. It could raise a few eyebrows the kind of things I have discussed and been party to. All of it is learned as I have not had the full biological and emotional experiences, I could never be a complete woman, but I know enough to successfully assimilate and be accepted as a woman.

For you wanting to be a woman yet can't see any that you wish to emulate is confusing. Why would you want to be a woman without examples you like?  Look at yourself and find the woman you want to be encompassing your own self and tastes  like I did. You have said you were effeminate so may already have those female attributes to develop.

I went through much of what you have from feeling I wanted to be a girl as a child and going through life in an age that didn't accept people like me but the desire was always there. I was about your age when I decided enough was enough and began my transition and using all of my traits and skills to not be that woman but this woman. One of the best compliments I have received is to be told from people who knew me before who see me now is that I haven't changed as a person but just seem better as a woman.

So if you want to be a woman be the woman you want to be and have fun on the way.