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I still Cannot bring Marla out completely in public: I am not quite that brave yet. However, I have tried an experiment to dip my toe in the water, so to speak. I picked a random town, Starke Florida, in the North Central part of the state. I did not go extreme, but it was bold. As a guy, I am 6 feet, fairly substantial. I do have long shoulder-length hair, that in guy mode means a ponytail
For my outing that day, the ponytail disappeared, and an hour of curling iron and hairspray later was just on the edge of girl. Real close shave, foundation, powder, blush, and subtle but obvious lip color. I used a somewhat bold false eyelash set, and the finished product was Marla peeking back at me in the mirror but muted. I wore my regular jeans, Pocket t-shirt. It was what I wanted; a guy with a really good full-face makeup job
I went to the Walmart in Starke. This is a small rural town, lots of blue-collar, it has its' share of rednecks and old farmers, retirees, generally, a typical small-town mix. As I began to push a shopping cart around, I was struck by an interesting observation: The men, for the most part, did not even notice or care. It was the women's reactions that truly were unexpected. There was no real negativity. What I noticed, was that the women really LOOKED. And reacted. There were a lot of approving smiles, and a few times one or another would actually speak a compliment I was asked if I did my own makeup, I was complimented on my lashes, someone asked me if i was wearing a wig. There was a lot of unexpected engagement, much more than I had ever seen as a drab male, no matter how dressed. Of course, it wasn't everyone. But it was really noticeable.
I tried an experiment. In the softest voice I could muster, I started asking for help in locating an item. Generally, the woman would respond saying yes ma'am, often, and then maybe correct themselves, or even ask which I preferred. The men were simply confused. Almost all used ma'am, but you could hear the question in their usage.
I felt exhilarated on leaving, It was my boldest move so far. And then it dawned on me that if I had worn clothes just a little more on the girl side, I would have probably "passed'. But overall, even in this conservative little town, no one was standing ready to sound an alarm to beat me up.
What kind of first-pass experiences has anyone else had?
Way to go Little steps at a time
Sara
I've never done this, but have seen guys, including a few with beards, in full makeup but otherwise drab - and one guy fully femme, but with beard.
I've also been out fully femme but with no makeup - and I am 6'4", so there's no real reason to think I could possibly pass!
Bottom line is you do you, and people love it. I've noticed that many women are particularly vocal and even physical in their approval.
The audience of drag shows tends to be predominantly women - I think a larger number of women than you might expect love a guy in a dress. I partially blame/thank Ru Paul. 😍😍😍😍
A bold move ! Well no one screamed and hid their children, you were referred to as 'Ma'am', how good can it get? It would be obvious from what you say that if you had of worn femme attire you would have passed, or, still been treated with respect.
One step at a time and well done.
Sounds like you had a great experience.
I have done similar experiments in my small town in Ontario.
I had the day off work with many errands to run. That included two banks requiring my ID, grocery store and walmart. I had on full makeup, womens jeans, top, jacket, high heels, big hoop earrings, no wig.
Everyone was fine with me. No real double takes. A little nervous waiting in line at the bank, you know how slow they are. Lots of time for people to notice me. The teller was great, asked for my ID and processed my request, but needed authorization from manager who came over and chatted with me asked the required questions and was very pleasant.
I have yet to have a negative experience. I do tent to go out durring the day to populated areas, where most people will be on good behavior.
Enjoy being out and about, it is a great feeling.
Paula
Congrats on your outing and I hope you'll soon be presenting fully as a female. Looking at your pics, I don't think you would have any problem at all in passing. Anyone who gets compliments from females on their look has gotten it right so go for it girl!
I was out the other day with a long ponytail, no makeup, clear gloss fingernails, and obvious C cup breasts. I too noticed more women were checking me out than men and the ones I came in contact with were polite as they looked me over. No compliments but no problems either.
Hi Marla!
That's wonderful! Good for you! And you look great!
I now keep my mascara and lipstick close to me and go out often in boy-mode wearing them. It's my "stepping stone", but no one has said anything yet. I'm now wearing my thicker black tights with a feminine winter coat since it's getting cold up here in Ontario. It's a nice feeling!
Continued success!
Hugs, Barb
wonderful! I do get braver as well in the cold, The Bras come out especially. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I love it! coincidentally, I DID my nails, those long talon-like things I am on my seventh day with them. When I go out, I wear surgical gloves, and no one has said anything negative, I work from home, so I can get away with it. Have a happy day!
That is encouraging. I appreciate your compliment. In heels and even dressed modestly as a woman, I am BIG. I can look proportioned, but like looking through a 2x mirror, you wouldn't miss me in a crowd. That draws a lot of scrutinies, and that's why I so far have hesitated
Just hearing that is so encouraging. Good for you!
My hope is it will help others, but as well it really helps me to see the responses and positivity from the ones who are already fully out there and the semi out like me . I am still floored by the support and responsiveness of this group. I had never experienced this before
Hi Marla.
Yep I get that being BIG... I'm six foot and over 200lbs. We just have to be ourselves and own our space. I once posted a thread about being too big to be a female but its now lost in the spider web of CDH.
That is deeply appreciated, Angela. The responses of this group and comments that you just made are building me by the moment. I feel the fondness
Nice thoughts! thank you! I too am tall six foot, and big, Not fat, but you KNOW I am there.
In my size 15 women's heels, it is hard to think I could ever pass, so I have to get brave and accept people will know.....and I should not care. Your thoughts help toward that goal of accepting me as me
