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What made you stop referring to your femme self as a seperate person?

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(@Anonymous)
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I am curious to gauge opinion here.

When I was in denial about myself, I would always refer to Stephanie as "her", "she" etc.   Stephanie was a separate person to me, albeit, part of me.

If you speak to me now, I am most definitely Stephanie.  There is no separation.  Is this the same for you and if so what was the catalyst that prompted the change?

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Posts: 7139
Ambassador
(@rose)
Illustrious Member     Peterborough , Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

For me I'm still exploring what lines are drawn in my mined . Over time theses lines are  moving  ever so slightly . always inching towards my feminine side. as I learn  a  more understanding on the development on  how to dress , act proper and . draw the best  qualities on presenting that woman hidden  deep inside   hopefully in time one can  to open up for all to see. Certainly a work in progress but always showing promise . but what triggered these changes   I really don't know.  And yes  when I'm here with you now and around this beautiful place I'm Stephanie totally  dressed or not here. I'm who I feel I should be and thrilled to be. and as I mention earlier the lines are always moving and feelings of Stephanie are showing more in everyday life so one never knows where the line will  stop . With love in what we  why would we  ever stop . a lovely question to which  I'm looking forward  to hear the posts from others .                                                                                      Stephanie..

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Posts: 41
Lady
(@madjaggar)
Trusted Member     LONGVIEW, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

<p style="text-align: left;">For me they thereisn't a difference. I'm not sure if it's because I'm fairly new at this or not but I'm me. Whether you call me by my given name or by Nikki is one in the same. I've never felt like my femme side was different from me. Idk what this means and I have often thought about it but one thing I do know is I love my femme self. I love dressing up and feeling sexy. I love acting girly.</p>
One question that's always on my mind is "am I trans or just a crossdresser". Sometimes I feel I am and sometimes I feel I'm not. This might have something to do with other girls feeling differently about themselves when they are talking about their thefe side.

Just a thought.

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(@Anonymous)
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Like your attitude.

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(@Anonymous)
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I guess I finally stopped kidding myself about 15 years ago, when I figured out this is who I am. You can call me what you like but the only thing left of Bryan is the outside shell. I've always been Heather it just took me a lot of years of denying and tormenting myself to accept it. As I say now, this is it, the total package. If you don't like it then don't talk to me.

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Posts: 88
Baroness
(@candysa)
Estimable Member     San Antonio, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Wow that one really made me think.  I do refer to Candy in the third person at times (like now) but all the while knowing I am Candy. Having to live in secrecy most of the time I think prohibits the complete oneness of self. My only concern (and I'm sure the day will come) when I'm in drab in an important business setting when someone introduces themself and I reply "pleased to meet you, I'm Candy"!

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Posts: 6
Lady
(@tempestblack)
Active Member     Milaca, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

For me there is a clear line between Tempest and Kenan. Kenan enjoys political debates and arguing, where as Tempest would rather just go with the flow for the most part. Tempest is named as such because both sides are very patient, but push that patience too far and both sides have a temper to be not reckoned with, Tempest more so than Kenan, he seems to have a longer fuse. Kenan also enjoys cooking and vacuuming, Tempest does not. So, for me, there is a bit of give and take between the two sides.

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Posts: 39
(@closeted)
Eminent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I view myself as a single coin, but I have a heads view and a tails view. At times I choose to display one side (gender presentation) and at other times the other side. But in speaking to others, I use the femme name to make it clear which view of the 'coin' I am referring to. Only if I did not change views would I stop. But I did not consider myself a separate person. Use of the  other pronoun makes it seem that way, but if you point to a  quarter and say that's heads, but isn't it still a quarter? Then there is how you feel about yourself. I feel happier and more peaceful as Ellen. I think I am better looking as Ellen than my drab self.

Society interacts differently with men and women, and maybe want some of those interactions.  Men do not compliment each others (almost never) but I hear women do it often to other women.

Hugs, Ellen

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Posts: 129
Lady
(@janine)
Estimable Member     Winter Haven, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

That's a good question. I really had to think about it. I decided that it was while I was in Marathon Florida living as a female for the entire time I was there that it happened to me. Every person who I met or had a conversation with called me Janine.That's when I realized that I am her I've been referring to myself as Janine ever since
It's much easier to be myself knowing that I am Janine and not just a crossdresser with no identity
Thanks for bringing this to my attention

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(@Anonymous)
New Member
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Personally, I have and yet, have not. As much as both my femme self and male self intertwine, there are things that each side have that the other doesn’t. I deal with things differently depending on the day, I feel different, I have different tastes in drink and music. Or maybe more precise, each side gives me the internal okay to enjoy certain things. So in some regards it just makes sense to place internal order to refer to both sides of myself in the third person at one time or another.

That said, I don’t believe or feel either are separate people. I am perfectly content with being referred to by either name as both are me.

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Posts: 46
Lady
(@biolass1000)
Trusted Member     Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

This is a good topic. Considering that I'm just starting out, there's no difference between Amelia and my male side outside of appearance. Maybe that will change once I see her whole body and not just her pretty face. Only time will tell. What I do know with absolute certainty is that I adore Amelia and want to discover more about her. She is not going anywhere.

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Posts: 114
(@cd_danielle)
Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Great question Stephanie!

For me it was when I fully accepted myself as who I truly am. Born a male but a woman inside so I am a Transgender female. I joined this site before I accepted myself and my female side/other half was Danielle but now I am Danielle with my male name as my drab self until I come out to the outside world. Thanks for this question Stephanie. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗

Danielle💋👠

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Posts: 114
(@cd_danielle)
Estimable Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

My only concern (and I’m sure the day will come) when I’m in drab in an important business setting when someone introduces themself and I reply “pleased to meet you, I’m Candy”!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha 😂, oh hell Candy I thought I was the only one who had that fear. Sorry for the laughing!

I have had a dream where I introduced myself as Danielle but had not come out yet to the world! That dream is a few years old and since I have accepted who I am inside I can laugh at the irony of that dream. I laugh because I am my feminine self and I would be coming out while in my incognito manner of dressing in drab but I strongly feel that when I come out to the world, or most importantly my workplace, I will be dressed in business casual female attire with kitten heel pumps and the works. I will be on HRT so with real breasts growing it is the only way to be myself.

Love ❤️ Danielle💋👠

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Posts: 149
(@skyler1090)
Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I actually referred to my male name as “him” or “that guy” when I broke down on my fiancé last night. It was really kind of eerie herring myself say it but I’m at peace with it. I’m Skyler. Period. I wish everyone could accep that but I know that’s near impossible.

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Posts: 78
(@charlotterose)
Trusted Member     Trinity, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

For me Charlotte and my guy self are one and the same. The two are so intertwined from decades of supression that they long ago merged into one person. The difference is that I'm no longer in denial about my true self and have the freedom to wear whatever makes me happy.

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