Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
ok girls. this is a follow up from my post 'is there any man in you?' I have pondered over this question for years and I have come to the probably well known conclusion that there are varying degrees of being a woman and reasons too. now I feel that the four reasons I have been thinking about probably very broadly fall within the same category or explanation. bear with me here.
1. simply, you are born that way. I am not going into the medical reasoning behind this because its way over my single brain cell, but it probably boils down to genetics and dna etc. many people have said they strongly feel like a woman trapped in a mans body. there is also strong evidence to support this.
2. peer pressure. if you live with an older or maybe younger sister, you may be predisposed to living a female lifestyle? this of course is a gross generalisation, but it could play a part if you have lived and grown up with girls/women in the family or maybe even friends, I dont know really but I suppose it could be true.
3. a genuine love of seeing girls outside and therefore wanting to become one. this is a tough example but its a well known fact that in multi sex chatrooms, women do seem to command more attention than men, also in daily life, many women are treated more differently than men in the sense that if it was man and man it could be rough and bolshy, whereas with men and women the situation tends to command a softer stance, which I for one find attractive.
4. last but not least and I think this is a valid reason for many people, including myself is the pressure and stress of work, life, relationships etc etc. I cant think of a better reason to switch off and become a woman (for those of us who are part time women). this for many is a release from the pressures of life which is becoming ever more hard to deal with for many and allows you to escape to a better more controlled environment.
I may be talking utter garbage, maybe nonsense, I dont know. people will maybe agree or disagree here but that's what this post is all about, voicing your opinion and what you think. my views in no way show any disrespect for any of us here, on the contrary, I have upmost respect for all of you especially as I have been a male to female cross dresser for many years.
go on girls! let me know what you think and maybe you have some ideas I have not thought of!
love and kisses, fiona xxx
Well, much like you, Fiona, I'm not sure you can pin it down to any one thing.
What makes me a woman is the same thing that makes me a man - genetics, environment, personality, emotions, personal preferences, etc. etc. etc. It all works together to form and shape and guide who I am.
So, I feel somewhere in the middle. Sometimes all man, sometimes all woman, most of the time somewhere in between. And, at least for me, that is good and fine and how it should be.
Millie
I think for me, it's a combination of #4 plus the fact that today's women are nothing like the women of my formative years. Once upon a time they were sweet, humble, caring, gracious and beautiful - probably the reason God chose them to bear children. But the feminist movements of the last 50 years have driven them to become men, plain and simple. I can't speak for others, but I'd bet many cross dressers and trans gendered women have endured such a void of true femininity in their lives that when they realize they won't be distinguishing themselves as alpha males (and attracting females for themselves), the next best thing would be to become that special woman - either for ourselves or for somebody else. I'm still straight, I think, but as time passes and my female persona matures, I could see myself being attracted to a "who" instead of a "what".
hi charmagne. what a terrific reply! I could not have put it any better and in a way that's how I wanted to word it. thanks for your reply.
fiona xx
I think for me it's a lot of 3 and 4. In the last few years, mostly completely separate from my feelings about gender, I have seen just how lonely and toxic my childhood was. So many of my sisters in this world talk about being attracted to what girls were doing over boys, but I really felt uninterested in the norms of both equally. However, I was raised to be pretty hard and cynical and all the girls I saw (perhaps most prominently in my family with only one girl cousin) sweetness was nurtured. Girls seemed happier and so lovely - all hearts and rainbows and not as much darkness.
Of course, this was an illusion and my female cousins have had a much harder time than me, but it's a good contrast in what appealed to me about femininity. Enter my male hormones coming in later and my fascination with their bodies and what covers them adds the sexual aspect of it and well, who wouldn't want to be fully absorbed in all of those things on their own body?
To be blunt, I question how much a man with no interest in crossdressing even cares for women. I think of this as what best distinguishes drag from the kind of crossdressing most of us practice - appearance versus feeling.
It's mainly 3 for me with some of 4. I've always admired the female physique. From their overall figure to their ability to breed and nurse live young, you could say I was obsessed with them. Also the vast majority of positive interactions I've had were from women, which may have made me admire them more. This lead me to wanting to be one of them. Yet, I was raised in a household where such thoughts were considered mere sexual curiosity, which was a gross understatement that only fueled these feelings.
I've also had trouble getting into my chosen career path. After I got my college degree, I've spent 2 years constantly looking for a stepping stone toward said path only find dead ends. In the meantime, I did random jobs, none of which were in my chosen field. Plus, said jobs didn't provide enough for me to be self sufficient. This disheartened me and made me question my own identity.
Fortunately, these reasons lead me here, and while I'm still figuring myself out, I'm in a better headspace than I was before. I'm also finally taking my first steps toward my chosen career.
Probably a simple 3 for me, I've always admired certain looks on women, mainly the shorter skirts, tight fitting dresses etc that show off the female figure that makes me want to emulate it as much as providing any sexual attraction.
For me my formative years were having a sister who worked in a fashion store and she was always coming home with absolutely amazing outfits that I found out fit me perfectly so I started experimenting with what I might look like wearing them
I guess things grew from there to the point where it grew from mere curiosity to a fetish and then eventually after many years of dressing with breaks in there, acceptance that I am actually a crossdresser with a physical need to dress as a woman and am now trying to figure out how to fit this into my life in a healthy way, I'm still in the closet but am trying to work out a way of gently broaching the subject and testing the water with my wife.
From a humble beginning of just being curious as to what I would look like in my sisters miniskirt and tights that's a long way to come, is all that just environment and exposure and access to attractive women's clothes or is there something else in me that drove me to that point, ie and aspect of my personality that needs to be female and express itself as female in an environment where men are supposed to be men?
It's hard to tell and I don't really have an answer how I got here apart from very small steps. It's like I got myself into a positive feedback back loop with crossdressing, each good and successful experience brought on the next to the point where tomorrow evening, for the first time in 7 years I am planning on going out into Manchester fully dressed as a woman and to hell with what anyone who sees me thinks. Mandy x
Hi Fiona my friend
I am a man, love being a man, and I love what have been deemed female clothes, make up, accessories etc. I feel traditional views of masculinity and femininity are on a virtual continuum, and I am not afraid to push myself as far as possible to the feminine side when the mood takes me.
Yes our hormones play a part, maybe I do have more of some and less of others ( I am slim and have little ‘ moobs’ , oestrogen ? ) I don’t really care ! Love myself in my body.
When I do dress I do like to go the whole hog, and try to pass, not about wanting to be a woman, I just think I look better that way, and if I am out am less likely to draw attention to myself, unfortunately society in general not ready for me in drab mode (eg shirt and tie, no wig ) on top, and a pencil skirt and heels below.
Yes I grew up with only brothers, in a working class area where ‘ men were men and women were women ‘, no real exposure to femininity when I was young.
I feel it is so unfair that women can wear whatever they want, from all the things a man traditionally wears plus all the beautiful colourful clothes in endless styles, fabrics, accessories, make up, hairstyles etc etc, and the shoes and boots, love them.
It is just so much fun to experience all of these feminine items denied to us because of societal expectations about how we are supposed to look. I feel so good when experimenting with different looks, trends etc. For me it is not really a sexual thing, silk, satin, lace, Lycra chiffon etc just feels so good against the skin. I think I look so much better shaved ( not just the face ! ) and with make up on. Women are allowed to cover blemishes, imperfections etc with concealer/ foundation, and give a bit of bang to the eyes with some liner/mascara/shadow, or accentuate the lips with some lippy or lip gloss, why can’t we ?
Christmas is coming, the shops are full of gorgeous bright sparkly dresses, shirts,blouses, heels, purses etc in a million different colours, materials, designs, whereas men get black/gray/blue suits, black or brown shoes, and a white or blue shirt. We do however get to express ourselves through the medium of a bright tie LOL !
I think I look much better when I let Bianca out to play, it may seem a bit shallow, but think if I look good I feel good.
You mentioned that it may also be a kind of stress relief from the stresses of daily life, and again yes this may be the case. A little bit of harmless fun can be nothing but good for the soul.
I just wish some of my friends on this site were closer geographically, but at least online I know that I am not alone in this wonderful obsession.
Love
Bianca
For me it's an escape from my own mind. I have my own issues from an abusive early childhood, then being raised by my grandmother with no real father figure and from the Army. I'm always in my own head and sometimes to deep. I always have to be in control and being Charlotte is a wonderful escape from myself.
For me, I’ve always felt this way. I can go back to being 6 or 7 and feeling a love for the softer things in life. I’m the oldest of 4 boys. My little brothers all played sports and excelled in traditional male activities. I excelled having movie nights and sleep overs with the girls. I was the one in musicals and theater and band. I find myself now st 28 missing that lifestyle I had in Jr High and high school.
Good topic Fiona! I am in the #1 category. I was born in the wrong damn body! I don’t hate myself or my genitals. I just think there was a mistake during the X/Y chromosome choice. I call it a choice because I didn’t have one at that point. So anyway I am female in heart, mind, and soul but the body isn’t. Besides if I hated my genitals they’d have been modified by now and that would remove the possibility of SAS (sexual affirmation surgery). TTFN
Danielle💋👠