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What Might Have Been

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28 Users
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Posts: 263
Lady
Topic starter
(@veroslondon)
Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I was out shopping the other day as Veronica and having some time to kill I wandered into Urban Outfitters which is normally a brand that doesn't figure on my radar at all. I knew that this was a store that catered to young women in the 18-35 year old range which is a few decades away from my current age. As I wandered around the shop I was staggered by two things: firstly the prices which not many young women would be able to afford and secondly by how skimpy many of the clothes were. But as I took a closer look at some of the tiny mini-dresses, I realised that they took me back to the 1960's when I first started to get those almost insistent cross-dressing yearnings that I couldn't do much about. Although I would dearly have loved to wander around town as a Mary Quant inspired "dolly bird" the reality was so far outside my life at that time as to be just an impossible dream. This experience in UO got me thinking again about something that has become a bit of a recurring nag and that is what would it have been like to be a fully functioning CD when I was young, slim and fresh faced as opposed to the sagging, wrinkled old hag I present as now. I know it's not particularly productive to dwell on the might have beens in life but nonetheless my guess is that for those of you who like me and for various reason have only been able to really enjoy being a CD in our later years, this is probably a question you've asked yourselves.

So girls, do you have any regrets about your CD life and what are they?

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41 Replies
8 Replies
Lady
(@ria)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 330

@veroslondon 

This brings a flashback to me as your history is much like mine. A very difficult situation to be a child/youth growing up in a very conservative area. Access to information to a girl like me was non existent and so I have done my best to balance my female/male existence. 
my biggest regret is not being able to explore what could have been.

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Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@veroslondon Great question so hard to answer. I have had a good life with loving family and friends not perfect in anyway but Its so hard to say I would change much except specifically what Billy said basically I wish I did not punish myself constantly for it. I do wish I could have been free to be River but Im positive it would have altered my current relationships and they are all precious to me.  not that the people around me may or may not have accepted me but more that my daily life hobbies activities basically who I am would have been different and the people I have met came from that  Including my wife. Yep hard question indeed. Guess I need to just be happy with what I have , as it  could have been way worse, which is easier said than done.  Thanks . Cheers RC

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2147

@veroslondon I guess I regret not coming out sooner, seeing how all the important people have either been accepting or tolerant of me as Cassie. All the years wasted, not exploring my fem side.  Also wish I had come out to my mother before she passed, in my heart I know her love for all her family, she would accepted Cassie.  Maybe not right away but I am sure she would eventually.

 

  Cassie

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3996

@veroslondon As a few members have said, I sort of regret not starting to dress earlier in life, but I never really had the desire to do so until after we discovered my heart problem. Then I said I want to look better in more than just ordinary drab clothes. I had been experimenting with technically modern designed male underwear for a few years, anyway, so it wasn't a big jump, for me, to add in nicer looking women's clothes.

As for age-appropriate clothes, I have bought a few mostly jeans miniskirts in a 17" length, since they are readily available at a really cheap price. I don't intend on wearing them outside. That doesn't mean that I won't, at least late at night. 🫣

Oh, and I might not have grown my moustache that everyone knows me to have had since highschool.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Joined: 3 years ago

Reputable Member
Posts: 450

@veroslondon Great insight for us who didnt embrace our true feelings when younger.  I also sometimes think of how much I missed denying this side of me.  Of course we all look better when younger and the heights we could have reached, would have been able to easily pass as a younger women.  I am grateful that I finally accepted my feminine side and that my wife is ok with that. But fun to think what might have been

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Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 594

@veroslondon I regret not coming out earlier in life, in my teens say. But of course, the acceptance levels were archaic so hence the closet for so many years. It’s easy to say what if, but in reality, any regrets are simply dreams. We can’t change history. We did the best we could. All we can do today is accept who we are and enjoy and love ourselves as much as possible going forward. Like Veronica, my best days are probably past, but in all fairness, if I decide to glam it up, I don’t look too bad at all from a trotting horse. There’s still a little wow in me yet! Lol now, about those fluorescent lights in the bathrooms. They must go, period.  They do nothing for my , er, fine lines?

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Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

I've been dressing pretty much my whole life starting with stockings then pantyhose. I loved how they looked and made my legs feel.

One day I slipped on a pair of heels. I quickly realized that wearing pantyhose with heels looked even nicer and enhanced the pantyhose experience. I enjoyed wearing the pantyhose even more. Worn with a short shirt, I felt like I was wearing a dress with my pantyhose and heels and showing off my legs.

Even though I was only 4 or 5, I liked when women dressed like that,m and I wanted to look like them and dress like them. I had these dreams and fantasies where I would be wearing pantyhose with heels and a pretty dress, showing my pretty legs.

Then getting a bit older, girl's began wearing pantyhose heels and short dresses and skirts. With their pretty legs, pretty hair and confident attitude, I wanted to wear what they were wearing, look like them, feel the way they felt and be out showing off my pretty self with my pretty legs in pantyhose, in my pretty dress and my pretty hair.

I would get home from school, slip into my pantyhose and think of those girls and what I would do if I was dressed like them and looked like them. I began to think I would really like to try it. I had been buying my own pantyhose since 13 so pantyhose wasn't a problem, but pantyhose was all I had.

When I was 17, I had my own car. I decided I was going to go get some girl clothes and go out dressed as a girl, showing off my sexy legs in pantyhose. I went and got a pair of platform wedge heels. I liked how they looked on girls and I really wanted a pair. Short shorts, hot pants and short cut off denim shorts were often worn by girls with pantyhose. That was going to be my look. When I saw Daisy Duke, I knew that was how I wanted to look. I got the legs worked out, all I needed was the hair.

I had been studying and learning about girl's clothes for a long time. I knew my shoe and bra sizes. I would often browse those items in stores where I went to buy my pantyhose, dreaming and fantasizing of when I would be buying and wearing them too. Now I was going to do it.

Next I went and got a few pairs of short girl's shorts. When I wore them with my pantyhose and heels, I was stunned and shocked. My legs were so sexy looking. I thought they looked even better and sexier than many girl's legs. Now I had to have a wig. I had to have pretty hair to complete my transformation.

I had been buying my own pantyhose since I was 13. I was never nervous about it, just excited I was getting new pantyhose. The same thing with the shoes, shorts and bras. But buying the wig was a whole different story. I saw a wig in the window of a wig store I knew was the one I wanted. But I didn't have the nerve to go into the store and buy it. I tried several times and my nerve abandoned me. I would have to deal directly with a person and maybe even tell them why I wanted it. When I bought pantyhose, shorts, shoes and the bras, I just went in the store, picked out what I wanted and bought it. Sure, I did occasionally get asked if I needed help, or got an occasional comment or remark about what I was buying, but that was part of the fun and thrill, leaving them wondering if I was buying them for myself. But what would my story be for wanting to buy the wig?

I came up with a story where I was going to be in a school play and needed longer hair for my costume. After several more failed attempts, my nerve seemed to hold up and I went in. I was very nervous. When I got asked if I needed help, I managed to say I want to buy the brown wig in the window. Is it for you? OMG! I nearly ran out, but manged to stammer a "yes". OK, I'll get one for you. She went in the back and came out with two boxes. She said there is a lighter color wig with the same style. I might like that also. I was sweating and shaking. I just wanted to buy the wig and leave. She took the brown one out of the box and too it over to me to try on. I was really freaking now. All I could think of was running away. When she put the wig on me and I saw myself, all the fear seemed to go away. I looked beautiful. She asked me if I like it? Yes. I want it. Let's try on the lighter one. Maybe you'll like that more. I loved it. Not more than the brown one but just as much. I looked beautiful but different. I had to have both of them. With the way things went there, I so wished I had gone in in my femme attire and left wearing one of the wigs.

Now I had everything I needed to be out femme. I hid the shoes and wigs in the trunk of my car. The shorts and bras I mixed in with other clothes in the house. I was finally going to go out and have the femme feelings and experience I dreamed and fantasized about for so long. I put on my pantyhose, short shorts and bra. Then I covered them with long pants and a shirt. I walked out of the house to the car. I got in and drove to a nearby park. I parked the car on the far side of the parking lot. I went in the trunk and got my shoes, wig and some breast forms I made from old pantyhose. In the car, I slid off my long pants and put on my shoes. My legs looked so sexy and wonderful. I put my breast forms into my bra and put on the wig. WOW! I'm finally doing it. I'm a girl looking like Daisy Duke. I  got out out of the car and stood up. What a thrill. I knew I could be seen, an even greater thrill. I began walking around the park showing off my femme sexiness. Such an amazing feeling. I was hoping those who saw me liked what they were seeing as I was getting an incredible rush.

I got back in the car and drove off to other places to get out and walk around. Little by little, I got bolder and bolder. I went to crowded areas and walked among a lot of people. I went into stores and browsed the women's section, especially enjoying browsing the pantyhose, shoes and lingerie. I got a special thrill riding the up escalator, knowing it was a great way to show off my legs and pantyhose close up.

Then one day I thought it would be exciting and fun to buy pantyhose while femme and wearing pantyhose. When I would buy my pantyhose in guy mode, at times I would get remarks. I found it rather thrilling to leave them wondering if I was buying them for myself. Now a girl wearing pantyhose and buying pantyhose surely would leave no doubt.

It seemed like an exciting thing to do, but when I went to do it, my nerve abandoned me. I'm walking around the pantyhose displays picking out pantyhose and I see I'm getting looks. I'm getting a bit nervous. I waited until there was only one other person on the line before I headed there with my pantyhose. As luck would have it, a few people beat me there. I nearly chickened out, but a burst of courage stopped me. I got on the line. I felt like she was the slowest cashier ever. Others got on line behind me. I was getting very nervous. Here I am, a 17 year old boy dressed like a girl, wearing pantyhose and buying pantyhose. In my fantasy, this seemed a great thrill to do. But I'm trapped on a slow moving line and I'm wondering what others nearby are thinking. Now it seems like I lost my mind and what I'm doing is really stupid and possibly dangerous. I'm very nervous. I feel like fleeing. I feel myself beginning to sweat and tremble. I wished I never did this.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, my turn came up. I put the pantyhose down, she rang them up, put them in a bag, I paid and I left. Maybe that wasn't so bad. Nothing really terrible happened.It was then I got the most intense thrill and rush I ever experienced when out femme. I had to do it again. I began buying most of my pantyhose that way. The thrill and rush if I didn't chicken out was always great and very intense. Then there was a few times I got complimented on my shoes, having nice legs, got politely told I had a run in my stocking and even got asked of the pantyhose I was wearing was what I was buying. At first, the interactions scared me but after a couple of times, I found it to be very exciting and thrilling.

Next I began to think it might be thrilling and exciting to get into my Daisy Duke outfit and go buy shoes. I drove to the store where I bought my first platform wedges. I parked, got out of the car and headed to the store. I was about to go in when I saw people inside. My nerve disappeared. I turned around and went back to the car. Several more attempts with the same results, and I left. I returned several more times and chickened out every time. Then I decided to go when the store opened, go inside, pick out a few pairs of shoes, pay and leave. I went in right after they unlocked the doors, went right over to the shoes but instead of just grabbing them and going, I really wanted to try them on and see how they looked. I put on a pair and really liked them. Maybe I'll walk over to the mirror and get a better look. When I did, I noticed others in the store looking at me.Maybe I'll give them a show. I posed, turned, posed some more looked over at them and went back to the shoes. Those were definite keepers. Might as well try on another pair. Loved those too. I noticed people looking down my aisle. I definitely want to go back to the mirrors but I'll put on a little show here. I was sitting. I stretched my legs out, moving my feet around and admiring the shoes and how great they made my legs look. I stood up, did some posing and headed to the mirrors. As I was posing and preening in the mirrors, I seemed to have drawn a larger crowd. I looked over at them, shrugged, did a thumbs up and a yes nod, then a thumb down and a no nod. They responded with thumbs up and yes nods. WOW! It was fun.

I went back, tried on another pair, did my posing preening and requests for yes or no. I tried on and posed in all the pairs of platform wedges in my size. I got yes nods on all of them. I had been in the store a few hours. I thanked my admiring crowd, paid for the 6 pairs of shoes and left. WOW! That was fun and very exciting.

When I was 18, I got my own place. It was an opportunity to really upgrade and improve my wardrobe.  I bought some great stiletto heels and several pairs of more practical shoes. I got some amazing, sexy dresses and a lot of really great lingerie. I could dress everyday and leave and return without having to hide and be discreet. It was an incredible thrill, feeling and experience to wear silky sheer to waist pantyhose with a very short dress, go out and feel the cool air and breeze under the dress. As much as I loved my teeny shorts, they could not give me this feeling and experience.

I was going out every night, but after a while, I really had no place to go. I would often just drive around trying to figure out what to do and where to go. I began staying in more enjoying my sexy lingerie and practicing walking in my stilettos. I bought some more suitable and less sexy dresses to wear out. I began going out as I had in my little shorts dressed like Daisy Duke. Now I was Daisy in a dress. I really loved the look, feel and experiences of wearing a dress. I felt more feminine. It was very free and liberating.

I started college in the fall. I began thinking of places on campus I could be out femme. Then I was invited to a Halloween Party. I decided to go as Daisy in a dress. I couldn't wait. I got my sexiest dress and my sexiest stiletto heels. I wore the heels a lot and often went out at night and walked around in them. I wanted to break them in and get used to them. I bought makeup and practiced putting it on.

I would come home, take a shower, shave, put on my pantyhose, heels, dress, bra and breast forms,  makeup, then put on my wig and go out where I could walk in my stilettos. I wanted to be at my sexy looking best for the party.

The night of the party, I dressed at home and drove to the campus. It was a fairly long walk in the dark from the parking lot to the building. I knew the path was a bit rough. I would have to be careful with those heels. It was also dark. What kind of reactions would I get from others who saw me?

I didn't trip, made it to the building and got in the elevator. I was very nervous doing that. If anything happened, I was trapped. Everything was fine. I got off on my floor. The party was already started. I went to the reception desk. They asked who I was and what I was. When I told them my real name, they appeared shocked. WOW! And who are you? I nearly said Daisy Duke, but I chose Debbie Daniels, after a couple of girls I really admired, using the first name of one and last name of another. I got my name tag and walked in. I was getting looks from all over. When girls realized I was not a girl, they wanted to get to know me better. Some were quite aggressive. Guys wanted to do things for me and dance with me. Then I happened to notice these beautiful girls dressed like beauty queens with the same gowns and sashes with names of countries of countries on them. They were gorgeous. They had perfect hair and makeup. I figured I would move closer to get a better look. As I got closer, I realized they were quite tall, some as tall as me. When I got over to them and heard them talk, I was surprised. They had deep voices. They were guys. We began talking. They told me they were a group of guys who liked to dress up as girls. They often had parties and social gatherings. I should join them. They usually had the parties in the dorms or someone's house. I went to many of them.

 I had discovered places where I could change into my femme clothes. When I had time,  I would go into these places and get into my femme clothes and go walking around the campus. It was such a great thrill wearing shiny pantyhose with a very short dress, heels and pretty hair while being around so many people.

After college life changed. I got a career going, bought a house and began getting serious with a girl I met who liked me in femme mode. We had gone out several times as girlfriends. But now a new life was happening. We got married, had a couple of kids, built a bigger house and enjoyed life. I donated most of my clothes. I wasn't dressing anymore. Then the kids grew and went out on their own. it was a big, quiet and lonely house without the kids, their friends and nearly constant chaos.

My wife was watching a show with Drag Queens on it. She asked me to take a look. Remember when you did this? You should do it again. It was fun. We went out and bought some new clothes. I was back into dressing again.

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Duchess
(@trisha283)
Joined: 4 years ago

Honorable Member     Pataskala, Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 499

@veroslondon 

Regrets are one thing I don't have.  I do often wonder where my life would be if I had pursued the cd life when I was 20 something as I have now. I was late 40s when I really let it out and am now 53. I have a closet full of clothes, racks full of shoes and a dresser full of intimates. 

As said before. No regrets I have had a good life. I am glad that I embraced it and now spend alot of time as Trisha  

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Posts: 1497
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

In my early teens I kept my stash of girly stuff hidden in a holdall in my wardrobe. When I was 14 I went on a school holiday trip to Austria. On my return I found my holdall had been emptied. A frantic search resulted in me finding my stash wrapped in a black plastic bag behind the dressing table in my parents' bedroom.

It so happened that the bin lorry was passing by, so in my deep embarrassment I dashed out of the house with the bag of my stuff and tossed it into the back of the lorry.

Now obviously this meant that one or both of my parents knew I crossdressed, but neither of them ever raised the matter with me. I was too confused and ashamed to bring it up with either of them.

My dad was quite a stern man, I didn't have a good relationship with him. By contrast I had a great relationship with my mum. We could talk about anything, but... I just couldn't bring myself to admit to her that I was a crossdresser. I don't know why. I think now that she would have been OK with it. But I kept the "secret", because I didn't want her to be disappointed in me. And this was 1974; attitudes towards crossdressing were not as liberal as they are now. The perceived link with homosexuality, illegal in the UK until 1967, were still very strong.

Besides, it might have been my dad who found and bagged my stuff. My mum might have been totally unaware.

Which brings me to my regret. Both my parents are now long dead, and it haunts me that I never had the courage to explain the contents of that black plastic bag.

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Posts: 3404
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I think that many here do relive childhoods missed by wearing things in private they wouldn't wear outdoors. As a child I was a fully functioning C.D. and could wear my sisters fashionable clothes in private and was lucky enough to be able to dress on a couple of occasions for fun events, the regret is not being able to tell due to the times we lived in then and wonder how my life had been if things had been different. Now having come out Ican wear what I like when I like and although the flimsy young fashion is not a choice but being fashionable in an age appropriate way is compensation for the years lost.

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Posts: 1043
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I can sympathize with how you feel, but then I think that experience is had by almost everyone in relation to some topic or another. "What if..." is the magic only the human brain can make. However, like all things, what you get out of it depends on how you use it.

I say get one of those cute, skimpy dresses - maybe two! Find an occasion to wear it - I'm certain something will come along. Use that magic power to revel in the feeling it gives you, even if only for a little bit. I'm 53 and mostly dress suitable to my age and body shape, but I have on occasion just said 'damn the torpedoes' and gone out with a look of someone younger (and fitter lol), but I had a great time and still look back thinking, "Yeah, I did that!"

Turn 'what might have been' into 'what's yet to be' 🙂

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1 Reply
Lady
(@leainvancouver)
Joined: 1 year ago

Prominent Member     Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 379

@melodeescarlet I’m with you Melodee! When I began dressing Lea was quite young and wanted to wear bright skimpy togs teenage girls wore. I enjoyed the tights and shirt skirts. It’s something Lea grew out of over time. It’s kind of like by keeping me repressed I didn’t age so when the cork popped out I was still very young. Now after a few years of dressing up my tastes have matured and my wardrobe is more sensible and age appropriate. I think I'm still in my 20’s but I have enough sense to realize that my body is in its 60’s. 

This raises an interesting question: How old is your girl?

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Posts: 1004
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

As someone who is now 63 and only really started dressing regularly a couple of years ago, I sometimes wish I’d started a little earlier.

However, although I’ve had these tendencies since my teens, it was never really as strong as it is now, and the opportunity just wasn’t there, so I don’t tend to dwell on it often.

As Jacqueline quite rightly points out, being a fully functional CD back then probably wouldn’t have been a very pleasant experience. I remember as a teen in the 70s that I felt incredibly guilty and ashamed that I loved wearing my sister’s tights and underwear, and was always terrified that someone would find out. 

It’s taken me all this time really to work out that I’m actually quite normal.

There’s still plenty of time to make many CDing memories, so as Melodee said “damn the torpedoes” 

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Posts: 794
Lady
(@michaela2001)
Noble Member     Goldsboro, North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Don't sell yourself short Veronica, I too had raging hormones when Mary Quant & Twiggy were around. Remember topless dresses too? They used to pop up in the newspapers every day when I was 12, I think. I recently had an opportunity to make a 60's style outfit out of what I had in the house. I am in my mid 70s, didn't even consider crossdressing as such until I was in my 50s. So, here's my "wrinkled old hag" photo of that outfit. Be kind to yourself love.

https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/photo/throwback-to-the-60s/

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Posts: 26
Lady
(@billyboygirl)
Eminent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Regrets, where do I start?

But, really, trying to focus on the present and the future. At 63 years old, it all seems so precious.

I wish that I had not tormented myself with guilt, shame and anxiety for decades.

And, perhaps, I wish that I had been stronger, less secretive and more direct with my wife.

Nothing easy but all part of a crossdressers life, I suppose...

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1 Reply
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@billyboygirl Tormented myself with guilt , shame and anxiety. you naild it .. thank you. RC@

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Posts: 450
Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Yes, Veronica I wish I would have discovered this when I was younger. I do.make the most of it now. I can't go back to the past and you never know how it would have turned out. 

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Posts: 450
Guest
(@Anonymous 76954)
Reputable Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi, I just wish I had the oppertunity to dress properly in my teens.  But never mind.

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1 Reply
(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@elaines Hi Elaine

So I'm not alone and from a number of replies to my post it seems there are quite a few of us.

Veronica xx

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Posts: 847
Duchess
(@missylinda)
Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I wished I was not a crossdresserlife would be more simple.   I am powerless to resist its pull. So I sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Posts: 263
Lady
Topic starter
(@veroslondon)
Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

As a coda to my original post, after reading all the replies, I decided that the damn the torpedoes  approach recommended by some might have merit so I went online and ordered no less than five skimpy little dresses from Urban Outfitters. They were all on sale at vastly reduced prices (presumably because the party season is over) so it wasn't actually a particularly extravagant purchase. I'm pretty sure that I won't get to wear any of them outside my house but you never know. I won't be posting any photos!

Anyway, thanks to all those who posted replies. As usual, they were an interesting read.

Veronica xx

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2 Replies
(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 606

@veroslondon Good for you Veronica! Why not treat yourself? As you say, you'll probably only wear those dresses indoors, but at least you can enjoy wearing them 🙂

I can so relate to your original post. I only came out to my partner in 2021 after being together over 20 years, and my big regret is that I didn't tell her sooner - hers too as it turns out. I also love those Swinging Sixties looks and although I will dress like that indoors, I know that next time I venture out, it will be in something much more reserved.

Again, I am a victim of growing up in the 70s! That sense of self-loathing and denial drummed into us emerging crossdressers, along with the terrible fashions and inedible school dinners. 🙂 

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(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@caroline2k Hi Caroline

Many thanks for your lovely reply. I sometimes feel that UK based CD's are slowly colonising CDH. I'm not sure that our American cousins understand what it was actually like to grow up in the UK in the 1960's. The UK really was the cradle of a worldwide change in pop culture not only in music but also in fashion. We CD's had to come to terms not only with that transition but also with the guilt and self-loathing that was associated with cross-dressing then. How on earth did we survive!

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Posts: 875
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

For me, it is not a regret.  I am thankful for the live that I have lived.  I am, however, curious how my life would have been different had I been honest with my parents, the pyschologist, and most importantly, myself when I was outed to my parents as a teenager.  My reation at the time was one of fear and naivety.  I told my parents and others what I thought they wanted to hear.  Then I buried my feelings so deep that they took over 20 years to find the light of day again.

MacKenzie Alexandra

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Posts: 2041
Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Veronica,

I can totally understand where you are coming from, I'm a mature crossdresser that started dressing in my older sister's lingerie when i was about 8 or 9 years old, back in the early 60's when being gay was frowned on and to come out as someone who liked wearing my sister's clothes was a complete no no , the only time we saw a crossdresser back then was someone like Danny La Rue on the telly, it was only drag queens that dressed up, nowadays its getting more acceptable for crossdresser's in society, I just wish i had the courage to come out to my wife, 

Maybe this might be the year, you never know X

Hugs Rozalyn X 

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2 Replies
(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@rozalyne Hi Rozalyn

Now remembering Danny La Rue certainly gives the game away age wise. Like you I cut my CD teeth on my sister's clothes in the early 1960's and oh boy what a golden era it was. I can still remember the feeling of pulling on my sisters'girdle, attaching some stockings and then stepping into a huge, flouncy petticoat. Sheer bliss. And then of course it all changed with the introduction of mini-skirts and tights!

I won't offer any advice about telling your wife. Every situation is different and only you will know if it's the right thing to do or when to do it. In any event, best wishes to you for 2024.

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2041

@veroslondon thanks very much Veronica, 

I only used to wear my sister's bra and pants, my love for stockings came much later, all i know the older I've got the desire to dress has gotten stronger, 

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

My regrets are letting my guilt of dressing hold my dressing at bay. So I wish I had explored fully dressing much earlier in life  But I am certainly making for the lack of dressing now!~

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3 Replies
(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@leah63 Hi Leah

 

Guilt is a word that crops up so often in CDH discussions and of course for CD's it first occurs when we are most vulnerable that is in adolescence. Children also don't want to let their parents down and so the pressure mounts. But what exactly are we feeling guilty about? Why on earth should we feel guilty because we like to dress in certain clothes and look a particular way. No-one gets hurt, no-one suffers so where's the harm. I'm still mystified but still feel guilty.

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 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Joined: 7 years ago

Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 812

@veroslondon I totally agree.  I think because "society: and the typical male ( I hate the word "Normal) do not have our same interest or desire to dress up...it caused all kinds of feeling and emotions in regards to our dressing.

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(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@leah63 It's so strange because there are all sorts of activities that men dress up for -- various sports, battle re-creations, Elvis impersonations etc and I think for many it's the dressing up rather than the activity which is more important. For most of us, the dressing up IS the activity but I don't think that's any more weird than overweight, middle-aged men pulling on skin tight Lycra to cycle around the countryside. I'm trying to be more blase about what other people think but it's hard.

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Posts: 1778
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

It was very late in life when I went out in public as a woman for the first time after my wife passed away. I have no regrets because we had a good life together. I quickly decided to live full time as a woman and couldn't be happier.

Because I have the figure for it, I can dress as someone 20 yrs. younger than my actual age. Mixed in with all my dresses are 3 that are very short and I've worn them at CD gatherings I've attended. I also have a few mini-skirts which I wear during the warm weather. The majority of my clothes are age-appropriate but it's fun to occasionally spice things up a little.

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1 Reply
(@veroslondon)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 263

@d44 Hi Fiona

 

It's that age old conundrum for CD's, do I dress age appropriate or do I have some fun and attempt to turn the clock back a few decades. For me, it's age appropriate when I'm out and I confine the having fun to when I'm at home but at the back of my mind I still have a hankering to wear that silly little, skimpy mini-dress when I'm out!

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