What sexuality are we really?

Right? I guess that for me that’s the only thing that complicated the answer at all. Whatever I am, I’m attracted to femininity and whatever that person may have anatomically, it’s their femininity that I like so when I take a look at myself and my reality there’s no doubt about it, “straight” will do just fine, at least compared to all other options.

Hi Fee,  there are so many identifications now and truly I have come to believe that you like who you like.  I know that I am much more relaxed about it than I used to be and also know that I for me my wife is who I am attracted to.  I think it is in our nature to want very concrete ideas of what makes us who we are and when we start to question or shift our thinking on one aspect, it can make things a little less solid than we thought and that can be scary.  And I hope we can all look at each other and say its okay.

hugs,

Michelle

Oh Fiona,

Where did you find this Pandora's box? I have been heterosexual my entire life and enjoyed sexual relations relative to that label. However, there has been hurt emotionally, sometimes in a BIG way, in almost every instance. Before you judge know that these relationships can be counted on one hand.
A bit more history before I make my point. In every instance all these partners agreed that my contributions to the relationship in every respect, were well above average. My marriage of 40+ yrs has not seen relations in over two years, not that I am unwilling. She says it hurts. All this even after learning, from my wife, that one of our children is the result of an earlier affair. I do not flaunt my crossdressing, bring it into the bedroom or allow it to adversely affect our family. When enfemme I too have fantasies about being taken by or pleasing a man.
Finally my point. Does the fact that pleasing a member of the opposite sex seem farfetched and the subsequent desire to please a man make me gay? The $64,000 dollar question.
Thanks girls for letting me rant. luv Mina.

Well said Harietta, I think maybe people are to willing to put others into groups. Myself I have my own plus I guess the one we get thrown into. I have no desire to be with a man. I think I would be classified as a lesbian because I adore other women. There is more to us than can be stuck to some label I believe. It is not that cut and dry.We are very complex creatures. So to me, I am just Coral a very special creature

Definitely, most attracted to girls like us.

It doesn't matter whether I'm drab or fab.  I'm very pansexual.  The only thing that matters is whether we're attracted to each other.  Love is love to me.

Hi Fiona,

I think, and this does not happen often lol, that since I identify as a transgender woman when I have sex with my wife I am in effect a lesbian. To my wife I am her husband with feminine tendencies but still a male so she is having heterosexual sex.  So the real question would be as a transgender woman if I were not married, and this is hypothetical, and I were to meet and have sex with a man is that then heterosexual sex? The dilemma of this Pandora’s box is mind blowing. I cannot say what would happen if I were to be asked on a date by a male so the answer here is that I don’t know! I do know I consider myself to be a lesbian because I am a woman born in a male body!!!! Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗

Danielle💋👠👗

I think the crux of it is not who we're attracted to, but how we express our own gender. You can be attracted to one or more sorts of other genders or sexes regardless of your own gender expression.

A term I've found is "bigender" and I feel it describes me quite well. It means what it sounds like: having two strong, separate, equally valid genders.

And then some of us bigender folks like men, or like women, or like both, or like other gender-nonconforming people. That's its own thing too. 😀

<p style="text-align: center;">Hi feona.....this I think is very confusing to most of us.  I'm not really attracted to men. Now I do feel a stirring looking at girls like us. Never crossed that line.  I believe if I was attracted to someone like me I really don't know what may happen.  My confusing answer is I feel there's no real gender to some of us. It's as if myself   I feel I belong  to   a different species..... that made no sense or does it?.......keep dressing .Christie Marie</p>
 

I think there is no real answer to this question, the reason I say that is the the question itself is questionable. It is questionable because it is asked form societies norms, the way we have been brought up to only accept societies view of how the world should be. Once we achieve acceptance of who we really are we step outside of the 'norms' society expects. So how to answer Fiona's post, well really we shouldn't even try! My take on this is the person you find attractive stirs something inside you that causes that attraction. It matters little if that person is man, woman, gay, crossdresser, transexual, or what religion and politics they favour, none of this matters, what matters is that we get to the inner person, the real person, because if you can do that, outward appearance does not matter. It's the real inner person we should seek, if we can find that we will find true happiness.

Does anyone here identify as "bigender", "genderfluid" or "nonbinary"?

I'm curious because those are concepts that are being taught in elementary school sex ed now (at least on the West Coast!), but didn't even exist when a lot of us were younger and could have benefited from them.

When I go to LGBTQ events, I see all sorts of young people dressed a "gender nonconforming" way, but it's not really cross-dressing. It's an outright rejection of gender norms at all.

I was thinking about it because I think I might look my best when I have on make up, jewelry, but no wig--just my super short man hair. I look androgynous, and I like that look too. What's a girl to do?? 🙂 ❤

« Gender fluid » is what I’ve fantasised about most. A life like that seems unlikely at this point but if things had been different I think I would live that way. I think about being full femme and nothing could be better, but I’m sure I’d miss enough to at least not want to fully transition.

Me too. Things are so much better for gender nonconforming young people now (at least where I live). I know I missed out on a different life because I'm older and things weren't as understood as they are now. It's a little frustrating, but it just makes me more certain to affirm my gender identity now.

Cultural attitudes aren’t everything though, though they do help. So many of the young people we see now are coming from either supportive families or ones so hostile they have nothing to lose. For me, what I got from my family was more off-putting than hostile. While I could be a girl if I wanted, the treatment would ruin it. Instead of it forcing me to rebel or allowing me to embrace it it just became a lower priority, a disappointment - one I could forget, though not entirely, until it was too late. Maybe it’s not too late, but it’s not worth the sacrifices. Sadly, no one gets to live every life, and girls like us may know that best of all.

Fiona. Another question I have tried to verbalize - you did! Maybe it’s the car?

if I may give it a go:

1st question to answer. Are you a 100% male who just likes cross dressing? To any degree. A pure #1 on your prior survey. As it was an option I would suppose it is possible. Sexually the question then does it enter your intimacy or is it simply your preferred attire. Then, #3, comes into play. If it enters your intimacy, is it a fetish in “the heterosexual bedroom “ or do you become a woman in the bedroom. If it is always and only with your SO then Heterosexual in 1st case but an inner Lesbian in latter case. I would then ask, which generates more intense pleasures for you and also for your partner.

#2. At any time when I am in my femme clothes (> 1/2 of everyday as well as every night) I’m always sexy to some degree- and feel that way and thrive feeling that way. I am not attached but would find it, personally, unhealthy to be so. When I think sexually I think of being a woman and taken as a woman - whether by another woman (thus lesbian) or in fantasy mostly, by a man. But it’s the man’s object that is the attraction and the subject of most longings. As such, find my yearnings to be a luscious femme exterior with all the luscious curves- that could easily be one of us as so many of the girls are so beautiful, or a shemale (a sensitive caring one?) or finally a genetic girl who straps it on, so to speak. All 3 have their place in my soul. I believe in the first 2 I see the relationship as lesbian (and I think that’s me) and the 3rd as heterosexual fetish.

Finally, Fiona, I so appreciate the conversation about sexuality as, speaking for myself, this has become a raging question. As a final thought ( I hope this is permissible) as it follows your though, okay, here goes, when we touch ourselves in any level of intimacy, do you feel the female parts of you, your thighs, hips, breasts etc. or do you go straight for that object - for me, that object no longer rears itself (oh my, very poor choice of words).

Thank you, thank you, thank you to anyone who has actually read all of this and to Fiona, most of all! Kisses