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....really pursued my curiosities?
This is born out of the recent "How old where you...." and the "Are CD/Trans people gay, bi, straight....." posts. This is something I think of often. So what am I talking about?
I always wonder what would have happened or where I'd be if I had really pursued all my curiosities when I was a young boy. Those being, curious about wearing panties, nylons, bras, etc., curious about being with another boy (when I was a boy), or another man when I was of age.
Lord knows I had the opportunities! When a boy I had clothes available to me. When I was a teen, junior and senior in high school, there was a math tutor who was gay, (I didn't know the term well back then, but I knew he liked men), who was always very respectful of and with me, but at the drop of the hat would have had his way with me had I let him. I was curious but was more afraid. The funny thing too was, I used to run into this guy everywhere! (I grew up in a small town). He shopped at the department store I worked at. He was a bartender at the opera house I worked at. That was a wonderful job because I used to clean the dressing rooms, and wardrobe. There were endless items I was able to get, wear and try on there! There were also plenty of gay people (male and female) and one strikingly beautiful trans person I remember.
Again when I was a teen, I remember going for a drive at night wearing a shirt, panties and thigh top stockings in hope of running into that guy somewhere. I was ready! We did not have anything close to cell phones or internet in those days, so it was difficult at best to make contact.
I think I could have easily been gay or at the very least bi and fully trans, had I pursued those curiosities. I love what I have now and would not trade it, but I do find myself wondering about this, often. I know it is part of what drives my desires today.
Love and Hugs,
Rebekka
Hi Rebecca.........One of my early career jobs was working in an Advertising company and a lot of gay folk worked there there. They were absolutely wonderful people and I got to attend several parties with them. I too always wondered about relationships and asked many questions about it. No-one tried to pressure me into the life-style which scared the hell out of me. As a straight male, I had all kinds of preconcieved notions thanks to my childhood friends and my Dads friends....ex WW2 soldiers whom I fished and hunted with as a kid. After working with folks of different life-styles, I came to know and love them all for the people they were. And now here I am......a cross-dresser...1/2 trans who can only go 1/2 way due to age and health issues. All I can say is walk a mile in her shoes..........and as McDonalds has said.....I"M LOVIN IT!!
Love and hugs.......
Dame Veronica
Ah yes, the 'what if' games our mind likes to play on us. Memories of 'experiences' that happened with male friends that i enjoyed but never persued, finding out later in life that the girl you had a hard crush on actually wished you'd made a move. Well we've all learned from "back to the future" that any small change we make to our past can change our entire path. So while I might have avoided my failed marriage, I then wouldn't have my wonderful children and possibly wouldn't have been in the right place to meet the person I have in my life now. And I might also have totally missed this fascinating part of my life and the great people I've met here.
Yet the mind still ponders these thoughts.
Thank you Rebekka💋
Thank you, Olivia,
agree with everything you said.
Thank you Sa-Man-Tha!
You are brave for even trying!
Stay brave!
Rebekka
Rebekka,
I have often wondered where life would have taken me if I only had decided differently on choices I've made. Since my return to dressing, this has increased. I see the moments when I did not allow myself to truly be me but at the same time I would not be me now if I had. And at this point I cannot imagine my life without my wife by my side. So for that I would not change my path.
Hugs,
Michelle
Hi Michelle,
that is how I feel at this point as well.
Thanks!
R
