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What's a little makeup?

28 Posts
15 Users
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Posts: 3857
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@lizk)
Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Kudos to Sally Brennan for turning me on to Lucy Sante's new memoir "I Heard Her Call My Name". Sante recounts the trials and joys of gender transition in her late 60s.

https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/postid/503793/

The catalyst for Sante's transition was a smartphone app that allowed her to see herself as a woman. Something many of us can relate to.

I've read a few excerpts from Sante's memoir. One in particular struck hard.

‘When I saw her, I felt something liquefy in the core of my body’

I've often struggled to describe how I felt after my first professional makeover. The experience was life-changing to be sure. But I've never been able to articulate the profound emotions I felt when I saw 'ME' for the first time. Sante perfectly articulates that swirling mix of joy, relief, wonder and terror when you suddenly realize the rest of your life will never be the same. And in the same breath you realize everything you've experienced up to that point has been a grand facade. You've just seen your future and it looks NOTHING like your past. An HFS moment in the rawest sense.

My first professional makeover was the catalyst for a journey that led me to CDH and ultimately led to my own transition. Funny what a little makeup can do.

Gina Ortiz gets a chapter in my memoir if I ever write one. She's the uber-talented makeup pro that showed me 'ME' and changed my life forever.

So how about you gals? Let's hear about your first professional or virtual makeover. How did it make you feel? When you saw 'HER' for the first time, did you feel something liquify in the core of your body? Was there a profound effect on your being? Did you see your future?

/EA

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27 Replies
9 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@emilyalt 

CDH regulars will already be familiar with the experience I had during my first makeover. It wasn't a 'professional' one, but nevertheless it shook me to the core. And it was the day on which my profile picture was taken:

Ellie, Isabel and the Mermaids … an origin story – Personal Crossdressing Stories – Crossdresser Heaven Forums

This July I'll take early retirement and start a whole new chapter in my life. I'll be able to spend ALL of my time painting and writing ... and finally be free to be Ellie. My first professional makeover is booked for just a couple of weeks after that, and on that day I'll be hitting the streets (rather than just a series of Science classrooms) en femme 🙂

it's exciting, it's more than mildly terrifying, and it will feel like a true rite of passage.

Don't worry ... EVERYONE on CDH will hear about about it in great detail, whether they want to or not.

And there WILL be photos 🙂

Lots and lots of photos 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@ellyd22 

I know what you're in for Ellie and trust me, the flood of emotions will be unlike anything you've felt before.  That's how it is for girls like us.  Fully expressing your authentic self for the first time will be a profoundly affirming experience.  That rite of passage is a gateway to a new life.  And you're going to love it!  One bit of advice - don't do this alone.  It's so much more fun to have a trusted girlfriend with you.

Giant Hugs!  Emily

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@ellyd22 

Where you’re having your makeover is 10 minutes drive from my workplace, so when you come out, if you happen to spot a weird looking soul staring at you from the end of the road, don’t worry it will just be little old me Looking At You  

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@lucyb112  @ellyd22 

Instead of staring why don't you 2 meet for coffee or a drink?  Just sayin'

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@lucyb112 

What if it ISN'T you at all, but just some OTHER weird-looking soul?

I don't want to go running up to them only to find that I've made a horrible mistake.

Wear a pink carnation so I can identify you.

You'll need to ensure that it's a very large one, at least a foot in diameter, so that I can make it out at a distance.

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Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 602

@ellyd22 Well Ellie, I just couldn't resist reading the Isabel story AGAIN. What an amazing and lovely event. You say you will have flashbacks about it for the rest of your life. I'm not surprised; it pops up in my mind from time to time as well!

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Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 803

@emilyalt Makeup has never been a thing for me. My wife doesn't wear any so I never had the chance to try it out. I've always had a hankering to try a professional makeover but there is nothing within 500 miles of my location so that's not on the cards right now. The best I've managed so far is an online makeover website called Taaz but sadly it no longer exists. Other than that it is faceapp. I must admit that the results of that really blew me away. It was like seeing myself for the first time & I must admit made me a little emotional. Did I see my future though? Sadly I think not, more a case of what could have been. 

X

Sasha

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Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 602

@emilyalt 

Before I retired and when I occasionally cross dressed when away on business there were 4 instances when I was able to get a professional makeover lesson in London; the first 2 with MAC, the latter 2 with BobbiBrown. On the first makeover I had to have the result erased before leaving the store, but on the other 3 I had the opportunity to go for the makeovers fully crossdressed and was able to walk out of the store gloriously transformed to continue wandering round the mall before travelling north for further business meetings the following day. I had to revert to male mode in the car before checking into the hotel those evenings.

These were all makeover lessons, with the artist explaining all the steps and at the end of the session recording all the products used on a "face picture" (I guess to encourage me to buy the items). I can't actually say these sessions were "life transforming", or that they lit a light bulb in my mind. What I can say is that I floated through each of them on a wonderful pink cloud 😍 and probably managed to learn almost nothing about how to do my own makeup 🤔 - except the oft repeated advice "less is more" and to always apply makeup with a light touch.

I would love the opportunity to do this again, and would hope to pay more attention to the lesson next time!

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Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 624

@emilyalt Two years ago I convinced my wife to accept my going for a transformation.  I had never put on makeup or a wig before and I was convinced I would look like a clown in makeup but wanted to see what a professional could do.  When I talked on the phone to the MUA to book the appointment (something that I really had to ratchet up my courage to do since I was giving out my name and credit card info) she said I would be surprised at how feminine I could look.  I took this with a grain of salt since she had no idea what I looked like.  However, she was right and when I saw myself made up with a wig on it was pure joy and for the first time in my life I saw that feminine side of me fully expressed and life would never be the same.  As you point out, it is very difficult and impossible for me to put into words the profound effect of seeing myself fully femme for the first time.  

Unfortunately, when my wife saw the pictures, she freaked out and said never again.  I think she got terrified that I would want to transition.  In any case, that shop closed up about a year ago so that option no longer exists.  I try the best I can whenever I can to recreate that experience and so I have been practicing makeup and bought a couple of wigs.  I can only do this when I'm alone which is rarely since I am my wife's caregiver.  I do treasure the opportunities when they occur and that feeling is still there for me when fully dressed and made up. 

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Posts: 508
Lady
(@kerrismith)
Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Emily,

Ive never had a professional makeover but it’s on my bucket list. My own makeup skills need improvement as I tend to glom it on and it needs to be more subtle.

Kerri

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2 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@kerrismith

Like many things, less is more when it comes to makeup.  Have you thought about taking a few lessons?  Sephora and Ulta are both very accommodating to our community.

/EA

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Lady
(@kerrismith)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Belvidere, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 508

@emilyalt Yes I would love to get a makeover.  Maybe for Halloween?

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Posts: 3437
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Oh gosh memory banks engaged. Imagine a time long long ago when there was no internet, filters or computers when even a pocket calculator wasn't even thought of.

In that time the only thing to see an image was the mirror. 

The first time I dressed was for a fancy dress parade by my mother with me wearing a dress, fur stole, floppy hat, heels and makeup. 'Lady Muck or is HE' was my theme, a term to describe mutton dressed as lamb. Was that appropriate for a four year old or even appropriate for a time when dressing or being gay was still frowned on. All I know is that I felt so comfortable in these clothes and loved how I looked in the mirror. At  the event there were some doubters as to whether it was a he or she as the caption was ambiguous. I did win the competition and get a prize but that feeling knowing being dressed as a girl was so right for me the image, as abstract as it was made me know that this was the real me. Was winning an omen as I knew then what my ambition was.

 

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@ab123 

Good point Angela.  It could be anything that triggers those core emotions.  For me it took a makeover.  It was the first time in my life when the reflection in the mirror aligned with what I've felt inside since I was 4 years old.

/EA

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Posts: 1728
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi girls. As some of you will know I'm a very occasional crossdresser. To be exact, once last June after a 35 year hiatus. I also had my first professional makeover, with Cindy at Boys Will Be Girls in South London. As somebody who has really only dabbled in my feminine side I had no idea what to expect, describing my feelings as excited, embarrassed, terrified and confused. Heck I almost turned the car round and came home. So glad I didn't! I posted on my experience here:

https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/crossdresser-transgender-chat/in-for-a-penny-in-for-a-pound/

so I won't go into any further detail here. Suffice it to say that the day was life changing for me. Whilst I don't necessarily feel I connect with a female part of me it was just such an absolute thrill. I just keep going back to the pictures and remembering how much fun I had, and it gave me the confidence to realise that my girly side was a big part of me that shouldn't be suppressed any more. Still in the closet to my wife though 😂.

She's away for 10 days in May and I will be spending that time en femme. Of course I also have another makeover booked.

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@chrisfp99 

I'm glad you have another opportunity coming up soon Chrissie.  Regardless of where you are or where you're going, it's healthy to let your femme self blossom occasionally.  My experience has been that I learned something new about myself every time.

/EA

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Posts: 1742
Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I had a post from back in 2020 that I wrote to the lady who ran a transformation business as she was closing up shop and posted it here on CDH. I know I saw it here not too long ago, but it seems to have disappeared.

I do have the text, and I have put an excerpt below. It's a bit long, but it tells the story. I called it Ode (Owed) to a Friend.

Life is about changes. Most are pretty small. But every now and again, something comes up that changes our lives forever.

Eleven years ago, there was a shy and scared girl outside your home for the first time. She had never been seen by anyone else before, and had never let her beauty shine through. She arrived a few minutes early, and had no idea what to expect. But reading too many fictional stories online, she wanted to be punctual and not arrive too early.

Her goal that day was pretty simple. She was tired of hiding, and wanted to experience a day in the sun. A day she could go out and be herself and not feel foolish, embarrassed, or ashamed of who she was. She knew that this would be a special day, because her family didn't know, and because the cost was not cheap. She believed that, if she did it again, it would be a long time in the future.

A breakdown in her marriage led her to start dressing again. It also led to a separate bank account from which a payment could be made. She had been collecting and wrapping coins for a while, and had enough saved in coins to pay for her day without impacting her budget. She had a single special day when her children were all out of the house. Her son had left that morning for a three day journey to college. One of her daughters had already started marching band camp at her college. And her other daughter was in sleep-away marching band camp in high school, returning the next day. Her spouse was working evenings, so would be sleeping most of the day, getting up just minutes before leaving for work. So she was so thankful that you were available that day.

She, or properly, I, entered your back yard and you called out to me by name. That was the first time I ever heard it used. And you have been using it ever since, no matter how I appear. I found a warm, friendly face waiting for me.

I came expecting a makeover, some photos, and a trip out in public to eat. You showed me your kindness, your respect, your confidence, your skill, and your graciousness. I left learning how to put on makeup, and with [foam] breast forms, a bra, and clip-in bangs. With your support, my nervousness lasted mere seconds, first walking out in front of your home, and then getting out of the car at the diner. We ran about 90 minutes over the allotted time, but you didn't charge me extra. Despite expectations that I would have to pay for the meal, you picked it up the tab, leaving me only the tip. Everything you did that day said how much you cared about the people you meet, how much you want your girls to succeed, and not just about trying to squeeze every last dime out of girls who want to live their dreams.

That day I peeked into the door of femininity. You held it wide open and led me through. I let the genie out of the bottle that day. She refused to go back in. That day was a big change for me. It changed the course of my life, allowing me to show my feminine side to the world.

Within four months, I attended a pre-Christmas party at your home. And two months later, I was a regular at your events, missing only a handful over the years. Your generosity extended not only to giving me things or helping me get started. By opening up your home to parties and events you allowed me an outlet. Through your parties I met others in the CD/TG community and our supporters. I learned confidence. I learned to be comfortable. I learned makeup tricks. I learned to walk, sit, and behave as a lady. I learned that shops and restaurants are very accepting. I learned how to have fun with dressing for all the themed parties you had, or singing a song or two. I even learned to let my kinky side out. Seeing all the beautiful ladies at your parties with their masculine voices, I learned to let go of some gender prejudices; when my synagogue decided to go with a female rabbi, I no longer had a problem with it.

I got to live out some fantasies with you, such as a school girl, a maid, and a bride. I got to perform in a show. I got to wear a beautiful fuchsia quinceañera gown. I got to go to a conference. I got to wear a swimsuit on the beach at Coney Island. And these are just some of the adventures I had with you. I could go on with many more things I've done on my own. Over the years our relationship grew from a business relationship to a special friendship. Sure, friendship is part of your business model, but it grew to much more than that. I have told my friends online how lucky I was to find someone like you. It's like I found a diamond or a gold mine. I felt truly blessed.

The tides are changing, and soon we will be drifting apart. The road forks ahead and we will be going down different roads. I forget that times change, and that things don't stay the same forever. While I hoped our relationship could continue for many years, it was not meant to be. Things will never again be as they used to be. I am comforted by the fact that you will be happy, even though it hurts me so damn much.

That shy girl that graced your doorstep eleven years ago has become a mature and confident lady. Although she still hides this side of her to those who know her other half, she isn't afraid to go out and about in the world. She no longer needs her hand held for security, although she still welcomes the hand of a friend. She will always be grateful to the lady whom she trusted to put her on this path. The support, the kindness, the graciousness, the belief in her even when she was unsure of herself, in short the love she received from you, will never be forgotten.

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2 Replies
Lady
(@lisa4mk)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     Texas, United States of America
Posts: 10

@alison-anderson I just read every word and I have tears in my eyes! As a beauty consultant for over 40 years I have had the privilege of working with some of the most brave and amazing people on the planet and I truly hope each one of them felt as respected and beautiful when they left my house as you did with your friend. Thank you for your sweet words to her, I know she will cherish them forever.

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Duchess
(@alison-anderson)
Joined: 6 years ago

Noble Member     Middlesex county, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 1742

@lisa4mk Thank you, Lisa. It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it too.

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Posts: 160
Guest
(@Anonymous 88536)
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Not yet had a professional make over , it,s on the to do list , would like the ones that give you photos of your experience.

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4 Replies
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1728

It's a no brainer Sarah. One of the best experiences of my life, hence why I'm going again in May. I got hundreds of pics including 12 professionally edited photos, some of which I've posted in this forum xx.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 88536)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 160

@chrisfp99 you do look great in the photos , just found them , where about is this makeover based ?

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1728

Sarah, they're in South London xx. 

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3857

@sugden 

Gotta agree with @chrisfp99.  Using one of these services is a no brainer if you've never done a makeover before.  Life changing.  I still get makeovers every few months at a couple of favorite salons.

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Posts: 1797
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Emily,

The first time I saw "me" was the first time I wore a wig. The day it was delivered, I first put on a nice dress, lipstick & some jewelry. After donning the wig I looked into a full-length mirror and experienced that "swirling mix of joy, relief, wonder and terror when you suddenly realize the rest of your life will never be the same" that you mentioned. I sat down and looked at myself for a long time and realized this was the woman I wanted the world to see. I went out the door en femme for the first time a number of days later and have never looked back.

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Posts: 1460
(@debbiedd)
Noble Member     los angeles, California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

We all remember our first professional makeover which is terrifying at first but the thrill is worth it. I had friends with me and a professional stylist who works with cds did mine. After stepping out that day to shop and eat at resturants was an experience I won't forget and no turning back. 

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Posts: 1230
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi girls,

I'd been doing my own makeup for years when I was a teenager and started going out enfemme.  After moving out from home to my own place, I noticed a business here that was called 2nd Look. They did wigs, earrings, hair, manicures, pedicures and makeovers. I don't remember what I told them, but wanted to see if their makeup application was better than what I could already do.  I went in dressed enfemme and I'm pretty sure they figured out I was a crossdresser.  They proceeded to show me the tricks and trades of the makeup business, and I walked out with a new look. I became a regular client and whenever I walked in they'd pull out their appointment book and ask when I wanted to come in.

For me, the entire process was always such a joy, watching the boy face disappear and a pretty girl emerge as I watched in the mirror. I did this for years and finally stopped while my kids were growing up. The 2nd Look studios are no longer in business, and my makeup skills are so good now that I have ladies at work wanting me to show them how I do it.

I believe, now that I know I am an intersex female, and inherited my mom's facial features, that it made it a lot easier to go out enfemme. The girls that did my makeup often told me that I made a better girl than a guy.

Big hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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