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Hey, folks. I've been away for a bit. Trying to locate Paige, as it turns out. I had a bit of a setback in July, and I've struggled getting back to her since then.
I was on a personal trip, had a hotel room with a perfect entrance/egress to the parking lot. Couldn't have asked for a better situation. I was excited to spend the weekend as just Paige for a change, with no distractions or obligations. Everything was going great. Showered, shaved, dressed. My real hair actually cooperated and I was able to style it so it looked feminine. Makeup application was smoother than I've ever experienced; just had a couple moments of indecision with lipstick color...settled on a matte pink. Perfect. I felt great. I normally have issues with my tuck. Not this time.
Walked out of my room. Walked to the car. Drove to a smallish restaurant. Sat down. Chatted up my waitress. Ordered. Ate. Left a generous tip, and took my copy of the bill. Got to the car. Looked at the register slip. On it, in neat, small letters, was "I know who what you are. Give it up." I was immediately in a panic, but calmed down relatively quickly. Who the hell was she to me, anyway? Who cares? Right?
I did. I knew I was borderline passable. I was aware that someone could, and would notice eventually. I didn't think I would be so affected when they did. I drove back to my hotel, and quickly erased Paige. Undressed, showered, packed up all my stuff...and took it out to the dumpster. Yes, the dumpster. I was done. I honestly didn't think about Paige for about 3 months.
One afternoon in October, I was on a bike ride, and stopped in a park to refill my water bottle. I noticed a VERY tall woman taking photos of birds nearby. I got back on my bike and rode slowly in her direction. She turned toward me, smiled and said hello. There was no mistaking; she was a man. She looked great! I was so happy! I smiled back, and almost in tears said, "Good day, miss. I love your outfit." The smile I got back was priceless. She knew that I knew. It was an amazing exchange that words can't properly describe. But, it brought Paige back to my heart. This woman was out, in a public park, without a care in the world. She recognized that I saw through the "costume" and it didn't phase her. I want that.
So, I'm online again. Shopping for Paige. We're going to give it our best shot, and we're going to keep this random woman in our thoughts. And, we're going to smile.
hi paige. glad you are back with us again. I cant believe someone would stoop so low as to do something like that to you. people can be so cruel and wicked sometimes. I have never had the courage to do what you did, i.e. going outdoors, so I have no personal experience at all, however if that happened to me, I think my self confidence would have been shattered too. its all to easy to say 'forget it and move on' but remember, paige is an important part of your life and you should never be denied the opportunity to enjoy. I wish you many years of happiness to come. hugs and kisses.
fiona xxx
So happy that you have come back home Sis. Hugs Rochelle.
Paige.....thank you for such a great story. Honey, we could be the most fabulous woman on the earth.....there will always be a jack-ass to make some kind of comment. When you go to a place that is not your home turf.....the locals will always whip out their magniying glasses.....their simple little lives are boring as hell. Just think....you provided something to chin-wag about. Next time just say......oh really...well, how about I lift my skirt and show you who I really am..........hope they don't take you up on the offer. I did that once......that gave the townies 2 days worth of chin-wag. PS. Don't go back there...they'd spit in you food LOL.
Hugs......
Veronica
Welcome back, you know we are all here for you!!!
Hugs,
Lanna💋❤
Welcome Back Paige! I think that I would feel the same and maybe one of the main reasons I have yet to venture out. What a wonderful way to come back! It goes to show that a positive encounter can have just as much of an impact as the negative. So happy to have you back here and hope to hear more! hugs, Michelle
So my initial thoughts were that I was so angered that someone would write that on your receipt. Maybe I'd have marched back in and said "what right do you have to pass judgment upon me?"....yet knowing I am more talk than action I would have been heart broken for certain. However here you are throwing a positive on this and making not just me yet others feel positive. Give it your best shot Paige and don't let others who are ignorant to feelings, emotions or anything for that matter. Your waitress needed a "dressing down " and perhaps even a pink slip. Her day will come, and so will yours! Thanks for your inspiring story.
Hugs
Heather
I just want to thank you for posting this. The note you received was uncalled for a simply rude. Your response was not unlike something I could have seen myself doing and I'm sure others on here. You passing on the positivity was wonderful and I hope to have opportunities to do the same.
At some point I stopped caring what others thought while I try my best to pass but am never confronted the few times I go out as you were. I have pushed the envelope and on coming out day gone to a restaurant/bar and used my male credit card and gone back later to the same bartender (a female) in drab and used the same card. She did not care or say anything.
It is easy to say we would react defiantly when not in the situation.
You are now a role model.😊😊 Happy you are back Paige!!
👗💄👠
Ladies, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! Paige has become a part of who I am, and I guess I just needed time to figure that out. I'm having an amazing time shopping again, but making some choices that are definitely more appropriate to my age. I've never been an attention seeking dresser, but I can clearly see, in retrospect, how I could have blended better. Maturity is for sure creeping into my wardrobe choices.
I'm so thankful for this community and all of you!
I cannot believe someone could be so ignorant. I’m glad you found strength to come through to be yourself though! Those who are too close minded to see that were all humans need a reality check. It’s a shame people treat others like they do just because we don’t conform to society’s norms. Forget them. Be yourself!
Welcome back, Paige. What an inspirational story.
<p style="text-align: left;">Welcome back Paige, I know how you feel. Since joining this site I've become way more in touch with all sides of me. I have had my own share of comments. I paint my fingers and toes regardless of my modes. Girls both love and hate my nails. I feel that the waitress was very Envious and Jealous of who she saw. People dont like anyone who makes them feel intimidated.</p>
She saw a sexy import and felt that since she can't be as gorgeous she should make sure to knock you down some pegs.
I'm 6'4" w/o heels built like I should play football. I went to a shop to buy beer in North *trendy* Philly. I was wearing a girly sporty hoodie and a red miniskirt. No dude was verbally bold enough to harass me. This couple at a table were chatting as I walked in. She stops as I walk in to lean back in her chair and say "WHOA" as I walked in. In her deepest voice.
I smiled and winked, then told her not to be mad that I wear it better than her.
Ya I was slightly embarrassed only cause she wanted me to be someone else. Which made me self conscious for a moment.
💜💛🧡
Sera
Sera, that's amazing! I'm 6'3", with a build similar to yours. In the right outfit, I just look like a BBW. I've only been "out" a handful of times... working up the courage to just BE out. I appreciate the support.
