Where Are You Heading in 2020?

Well good question  Vanessa law,   I am looking at taking care of my Heath, getting wife to under stand my desire to x dress. Enjoy my life as it is and be all I can be male and female, female when I can and enjoy it. Learning to put on eye shadow a lot better and learn to put on foundation, and cover up make up and look as pretty as a real female and pass as one.  I am a thin person to begin with.    Being here on C.D.H.   I will learn more about make up and try on and the more I do the better I will get at it.   I guess that covers my where are you going in 2020

Hello Vanessa, I am Very Happy for the chance to write to you directly.  THANK YOU for your COURAGE and VISION in creating this site CDH.  This girl has been helped in so many ways after stumbling onto the site in a state of self-hate, guilt, and depression in 2017.   I moved  from an occasional curious guest to Lady then Baroness.   It has been an exhilarating ride of personal evolution from one that was very secretive and  paranoid to one that enjoys dressing and spending time as a girl like people would enjoy time spent going to a movie, dinner or a vacation. It has evolved from a purely sexual fetish to one that explores my femme side more deeply, the sensitive sides of me seeing trying to view  life as a woman ld, enjoying small things like feeling the hair on my bare back, making me feel pretty and alive,   giving loving hugs and kisses in public to my dogs, something girls  can do but not boys. Then there was the heartbreak of losing a friend here at CDH. The girls here were so nice to me with words of support and advice that girls here will leave because CDrs are a skittish lot and leaving had nothing to do with me.  It still hurts. Being a girl is not all smiles right?  That girl opened my mind to the fact that I am bi-sexual.  I got a taste of what a girls hurt feels like......    While still in the closet, this year I want to actually go and buy clothes in person at the thrift stores, go for drives en femme at night, post more pictures, and be 60/40 femme/male.   Although I feel pretty and desirable, most everyone would have to put on their dirty, out of date prescription glasses to see that....:)

My original plan for 2020 was to transition in June 2020, once I had better than one year on HRT. Unfortunately for me, I can no longer achieve my goal due to illness, inability to work and I have spent my SRS savings on living expenses over the past 7 months. And without a miracle, I doubt I will be able to come up with the money to keep my original date. My open heart surgery was postponed from November 2019 to January 2020 so that will be my first challenge this year and once that is over and I'm able to get back to work, it will be save, save, save, again, for my transition. Originally, Dr Ley at The Meltzer Clinic here in Arizona was doing my surgeries but I may opt for a plane ticket to Thailand to save money. I have considered selling my house to pay for my surgeries, since I no longer have a mortgage, if I sold, I would walk away with more than enough cash for surgery and another, smaller home. But I worked my butt off for what I have and I would really hate to loose it!! If I could only find a genie in a bottle that would give me three wishes!! LoL

P.S. I am a member at Transgender Heaven as well.

Hugs and Best of Luck to everyone in the coming new year!!! Breanna

Breanna,
I wish you the best for your forthcoming surgery; I had a quad bypass in October 2012, and a year-long recovery. I have heard (but may be wrong) that major surgery such as this means a permanent disqualification for SRS. Please check this out before planning something as drastic as selling the homestead.
Hugs,
Bettylou

Hi Vanessa,
Good question, I hope to get settled better in our new house after we get our old one sold (what a headache that is).
I really would like to have a little more girl time this year and meet new friends and enjoy the friends I have met here on CDH.

I would like tp say my challenges in 2020 do not hold a candle to Breannas.
My prayers are with you hon.

Karley
I am sorry you lost a friend, I had a similar experience this year and I found out how bad it hurts.

Patty

Since I am still pretty new to actually acknowledging me femme side my goals are pretty basic.
-Build a collection of outfits that I feel confident in, things I could wear in public and blend in.
-Pluck up the courage to shave the last of my beard.
-Learn to do my makeup.
-Alow my wife to see me and spend the with me fully enfemme.
-Venture out in public enfemme.

-Decide who else I am going to come out to
-Find some local CDs and try to form a group/club. There currently is not one that I am aware of.

Thanks to my time spent on CDH I am confident that I am not trans, I cherish both the male and female aspects of my personality, so I'll not be going on a trans journey, but I do still need to explore my femininity and find the balance that makes me happy, not quite there yet. I think achieving the goals above will help me figure this out.

All the best for 2020.

D.

Hi Vanessa,

For me this year may be difficult but I'm willing to take on the challenge. First is getting healthier by continuing to lose weight. This site helped me get the courage to get professional help. That helped me realize I'm transgender. Now it will be coming out to my family. I dont know what will happen but I need to live my authentic life.

Hugs,

Angela

I've never done the "new year resolution" thing because I feel that if I want to start something, I start right away and don't create a deadline to stress myself with.

In this case, I am gradually preparing to move. Since I got out of the military, I stuck around the Nebraska and got a job as a DoD contractor because my experience and qualifications made it easy. Recently I started to wonder if I should have just left and moved back down south where I came from. I'm done thinking about it. I found an opportunity early last month that will ensure I am not stuck job hunting when I do. I don't think I will complete that process this year, but I do plan to complete it....hence why I don't make a new year resolution. Right now, hiding my love for wearing women's swimsuits is the only thing I stress myself with. Plus I know I could have more warm days in the year than living in Nebraska.

Hi Betty Lou,

Thank you Hon for your insight and advise. But I must tell you that the first thing I did was contact my SRS doctor to ask that question. As long as I have good blood flow, I pass the blood tests, and my surgery is successful, they will still do SRS. I am fortunate in a way because I am a cash pay and they are not making me jump all the WPATH hoops insurance requires. I was offered two surgery dates already,one in August 2019 or November 2019, but I wanted to see what kind of breast development I got from the hormones since I am doing top surgery at the same time as bottom surgery, to save money on the anesthesiologist and hospital bills. Maybe someone up there was looking out for me, if I had done surgery in 2019, I may not have made it with a bad valve in my heart!! Thanks, Breanna

Next month, on Valentines day actually, will mark three years since they took my tumor, among a few other things, from my body and set me on the road to recovery.  I don't think I have ever been so grateful for 3 more years at any time in my life.

I would like to take that huge step and begin transition to becoming the woman I feel I need to be.  I have begun seeing a counselor since the new years, again ( not the first time), I have some very huge decisions to make for myself now.  I will put that on hold for just a bit though as my youngest niece is planning to throw a 'surprise' 3rd life day party for me.  My sister snitched her off to make sure I was going to be home that night.

I cannot foresee what this next year will hold, but I do know I am going to declare myself to my boss and coworkers about my gender identity.  I am so tired of hiding it from people who really should know to keep odd rumors (this is small town Texas after all) from causing any damage.

PaulaF

Vanessa,
Since I found CDH this year, I've gone from closeted underdresser to full CD, complete with makeovers, wardrobe and pierced ears; Thank you, thank you, thank you. Still pending are makeup skills and voice training, and I really want to mix and mingle with other CDs - but a disabled wife severely limits my travel options. Not giving up on that, yet, however.
Hugs,
Bettylou

Breanna, I wish you well, and hope your surgeries go well this year.

Amy

Vanessa;

I'd also like to say thank you for your vision in creating this site, and thanks to all the other behind the scenes people that must be there to make this work like it does.

Being here has helped me immensely. Before then I was an occasional dresser, and then felt the pull to dress more often, and then completely en femme. It was then I found CDH, being here has helped me to accept and enjoy being Amy. I was also able to sort out my feelings, and though I am a cross dresser, and I don't believe that I will ever want to transition. Also, I've made many friends here, and even have meet some in person.

I know I haven't answered your question, yet.

The last year was an incredible growth year for me, I went from a closet dresser, and not very passable, to now going out for lunch, dinner, and shopping en femme at malls.

This year I hope to expand my femme horizons even more by going out more often, and perhaps even going away for a few days somewhere, totally en femme. To live for a few days as a woman would be a fabulous experience I think.

Amy

Hi Vanessa and everyone. Since coming out in 2017 I have had a whirlwind experience; joining trans groups and attending trans conferences, practicing makeup skills, establishing my style and making great CD friends. I am so blessed to live in a community where Janice is accepted wherever she goes. Medical problems in 2019 slowed my lifestyle a bit but I am finally closing this chapter and looking forward to 2020 as a positive year with more social activities, ear piercing, Manny Peddy skills, voice training and deportment so I don't appear as a flagrant gay person. I just want to be my true feminine self. Thanks for asking.