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Which would you choose?

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Posts: 237
Baroness
Topic starter
(@red-sorceress)
Reputable Member     Middlesex, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I’ve been a crossdresser for a long time, and one day I asked myself a question. It seemed like a silly question at the time, but I found myself in a conflict in trying to answer it. I actually had to think about it for a long time. The question I asked myself was: If I could live my life over and could choose living as I am now living it or as a straight male as I was meant to be, which would I choose? You might feel that I should have added the choice of a straight female. Since I’m a male and a transvestite M to F and not a female, I didn’t add that choice. I want to know which out of the two that I am now I would choose. My male side answered the question as a straight male and for good reasons. For most of my life I’ve live alone. When I was a young transvestite, most transvestites hid in the closet as I did. My need to be feminine prevented me from having children. Yes, I was married, but I married at a late age and having children at such a late age didn’t seem like a good idea. My feminine side, Edie, answered the question to live the life I am now living. I enjoy being feminine. I love wearing sexy dresses, spike heels, lovely wigs and makeup. In the end, I couldn’t answer the question. I’m now going to ask you girls the same question. If you could live my life over and could choose living as you are now living it or as a straight male as you were meant to be, which would you choose? Again, I’m not giving you a choice as a straight female. As far as I know, none of you are an actual female.

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I would choose to live like I am, only I would live as a woman full time, and I would never look back .

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I would live as i am now although i wouldn't be in the closet i would tell the world and his dog this is me I'm a cross-dresser except it, i would wear my clothes with pride and embrace my feminine side wholeheartedly xxxxx

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Posts: 871
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

That is an interesting question, Edie. I had to read your prompt several times before I was clear about what you were asking.  Given the choice, I would live as I do know.  I am who I am and I don't want that to change.  Since I embraced my femininity a few years ago after resisting for so many years, I have had only one regret.  That was not being honest as a teenager when I was outed.  I have often wondered how my experiences would have been different had I elected to be honest with my parents and myself instead of burying my feelings for nearly twenty years.

MacKenzie Alexandra

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Knowing what I know now includes the two beautiful children I love and the wife I love so could I sacrifice them for myself?  Loving husband and father, no; selfish me yes. Wow this tough!  I have realized as I have grown older I am definitely more tg than cd and I know I would be personally happier if I were to live that life and my wife would probably have been happier with a better “man”. BUT:  I love my children enough I could not knowingly choose to erase them so I would suffer through life never being who I truly wanted again. That said I would definitely be out and not deny who I am and would make many changes to help myself and wife with a much better life understanding what we really were dealing with.

🍷C

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I'm going with Rochelle. I would live as I am now but I would fully transition to be a woman. I figure my psychy is about 80% female and 20% male so this would be the logical way for me to go with no regrets.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I would live like Martha. However, I would definitely would consider transitioning to be a woman full time. I feel that I am a woman trapped in a man's body. I enjoy being a woman so much.

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Posts: 576
Baroness Annual
(@delaware)
Honorable Member     los angeles, California, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I'm going with Karley, living as a male, young, very passable with the mind and insight that I have now without the roller coaster cycles  of purging, guilt and self hate. I would love my two selves and not be in the closet.  I  would also learn self defense both verbal and physical to be able to stand up for myself. As for my SO, I would love her to be my SO or a very intimate  best friend without any secrets  of who I am.  We have no kids, so no problem there. Dogs yes, and they do not care about any of this.

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Posts: 261
Lady
(@phil)
Reputable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I have enjoyed my journey a lot. I don't have children but I am married to the love of my life. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that in the least. I also wonder what it would have been like to have not hid for so many years. Then again if I had been out as a younger person I'm pretty sure (knowing my personality) I would have ended up living full time as Jessica and still changing my own oil, building camper-vans, and working on my house.

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Posts: 62
(@egl7770)
Trusted Member     Bullhead City, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

No matter how I answer this it was very hard. I have three great girls I helped to raise, and I would never give that up. But I should have come out ten years ago and transformed into an female. Or come out to my last wife and had her help me with my transformation.

Michele Maclean

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Posts: 22
Lady
(@crosslion66)
Eminent Member     Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
Joined: 9 years ago

I would chose to be what I am now, a male who likes to cross dress. Although I do cross dress more  and more I have truly enjoyed my male life to this point. I have great grown up children and a wife I love dearly. She accepts this side of me so I have the best of both worlds. The cross dressing side may have been at least partially responsible for a divorce from my first wife.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I would live my life as I do now Edie. I’d find a relationship with that special person with whom I could share both my masculine side (which I love) and my feminine side ( which I also love). I’d never settle, nor purge again!

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Posts: 3
(@sophybaxter)
New Member     Glasgow , United Kingdom
Joined: 7 years ago

I would choose to live as a transvestite . I did marry, I do have children. I feel the 'real me' when I am dressed.  I am so relaxed, so comfortable , I would not wish to hide it anymore. I would love the fact that getting home and being able to cross over is the over ridding factor for me, in regards to the question. I thought about it a lot myself actually.  😊xx

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I think I would have skipped trying to be an alpha male and instead pursued a life as a transsexual.  I love being Gina, and most of what comes with being me now.  I would have avoided causing pain to a good woman who just couldn't wrap her head around who I was.  I love my life now.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Tbh for my part there was a choice until I was 16 and then there wasnt any more..I believe even if I chose male I would have found my femme anyway. perhaps i also never considered it a choice? I never really thought of it that way. Anywhoo I do believe I was and am too open minded to say I would stay on the male path. Stylish females turn my head every day as do gorgeous makeup applications. Not sure this is a conscious decision or years of habit but idk if I would feel connected if things were different.

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