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Who I Am or Who Am I?

9 Posts
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Posts: 86
Lady
Topic starter
(@victoria-rose)
Estimable Member     Boston, MA, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I came here tonight frustrated. I haven't come here often although I am subscribed to a couple of forums and get the monthly newsletter.

I haven't really dressed much in the past year due to circumstances beyond my control. I have worn designer panties which I have found quite comfortable, and yet my Crossdressing desires have been quite low lately.

Ironically even though I prefer to be called by my male name, I often fantasize what it would be like to be a real women, grow breasts, have the surgery, and be romanced by a man, etc. It seems that I only have these thoughts when I am stressed. I wouldn't mind dating a transgender woman at this point. In the past year I have encountered quite a few people who identify themselves as the opposite gender. I am in aquaintance now with a transgender woman who is very passable.

Anyway, that's where I am now, identifying myself as a male, but wishing at times that I was a woman.
Anyway, thank you for reading. Your input is welcome!

Toodles,

Victoria-Rose

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8 Replies
Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Victoria-Rose,

An oft used comparison is our need to crossdress to the  tide.  How the tide inexorably rises and sweeps away anything in its path.

But what happens when the tide recedes?

How do we cope when the need to dress wanes?

Like you I seem to be in ebb tide right now. I'm just trying to be content with where I am now, in all my (ugh) maleness. Trying not to drive myself crazy by thinking too much. One thing I know about the tide, it always rises again.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I relate to the state of being male but wishing I was a woman totally. I think that's been true since I was eight years old. But at this point I'll settle for being as happy and as girly as possible and have all the women in my life ask me for fashion tips! It's my everyday life now and it's just me and joyfully mundane. The times where the urge to dress took over my life I don't miss.

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Posts: 144
Lady
(@jimi)
Estimable Member     Bullhead City, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I perhaps live 60% male and 40% female. I know i must keep up my male life (fix the cars, cut the grass, home repairs and general maintenance) but I SO look forward to relaxing as Jamie. My wife accepts us for who we are. She deals with both of us independently. There are sometimes when I feel Jamie needs to come out, and let me relax.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Right now I hate my body for what it makes me conform to. I hate my beard and I hate my penis but this is what I have to be. It never ends and it never will.

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

This weekend I was at a vacation home that I own and plan to sell. I was staging the place for the agent and was wearing a mini skirt and camisole with defined cups. I was walking past a mirror and glanced at myself and the reflection was of the real me.  I was on a med that caused some extreme breast growth as a side effect so I do fill the cups up. The reflection made me feel content.

I have loved wearing women's clothes since I was 8 but the breast growth has taken me to where I always wanted to be. I wake up every morning wanting to be more female and plan to pursue that road. I am beginning to know who I really am.

Hugs,

Carl

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

<p style="text-align: right;">I feel that the sad reality is that it is not your body that makes you conform to a particular look or behaviour, it is society. I love the thought of being a woman although I love my wife very much and also want to be her husband. I love the feel of dresses and lacey underwear and getting 'pretty'. I think that I would be happy enough doing all that as a male if I hadn't been so conditioned to see myself in the mirror as some sort of 'weirdo'. That is what I hate, that I have to conform to society's view of a male. I would love to live in a society of 'people' who were free to dress how they love to, be as femanine or masculine as they would like to be and still feel normal! I love crossdressing but hate that I feel the need to hide it so I'm not shaming myself or my family because the community I live within cannot accept it as normal.</p>
 

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Posts: 86
Lady
Topic starter
(@victoria-rose)
Estimable Member     Boston, MA, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Ladies and thank you for responding! My desire to crossdress went down for awhile, but seems to have come back again! I have this desire to dress in a ballet costume and do ballet. Not very realistic, but it is my fantasy though. Oh well, I will just have to live with what is.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I am gender fluid, but as I aged the girl is far more prominent in my life.  It was really tough growing up when the fem side kicked in. wow, I had to beat to my own drum until I could figure it out. Finally did at about forty years old. LOL no information until the net became available to look up stuff.   I have accepted myself and enjoy both sides but am getting more girly all the time.

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