Why do we crossdress?

I've been asking myself the same question lately.

1. It makes me feel comfortable. 2. It relaxes me. 3. Women have way better, prettier clothes. 4. I like feeling feminine. 5. I believe that I have a feminine side that I prefer being....Why? (See #1 and start over)

I think I'm a better, more well rounded (yes, also that way 🙂 ) person as a woman than I am as a man.  I take better care of myself as a female. I'm more inclined to workout if I can at least wear my sports bra. My doctor has been telling me to lose 15-20 pounds for years and get some exercise and I never have. Since Tara has come out, I've lost 25 pounds, exercise and just had my checkups and my bloodwork numbers have never been better.

I'm better as Tara and I like myself better as Tara.

I wrestled with that question for only a little while but decided to change my why questions...

Me: why do I hide my cross dressing

shame guilt

Me: why am I ashamed of cross dressing (women do every day and they’re not ashamed)...

because I was humiliated wearing female clothes

Me: why did they humiliate me (who were they)

My parents, brothers and sisters (I had one that thought I was cute in a pink dress) kids at school (I was taken to school in a dress by my mother)

Me:  why does that still make me feel shame

...this is where I start a whole new chain of questions that unfortunately I have no one to really share them with..

I hope this helps...also take a look at the sociology of clothing in the 50-60’s   Knowing the history of the cultural clothing wars when women were first given permission to wear pants in public...this might be something you and spouse explore together
Stephanie 😘

Well... Now you've gone and done it Tina 🥰

I was just discussing something like this privately with another member. I said I don't know what came first, the Gender fluidity or pure crossdressing. Did I put on panties the first time, just out of childish curiosity and that turned to fluidity during my formative years or did I already identify as a girl and realized those were "my" clothes that I should be wearing?

I was always a quiet kid that liked playing with the girls more than the boys and got called a lot of homophobic slurs for it through my younger years. I used to think I was attracted to those girls but I think now I was probably wishing I was them, as far back as grade 2, which is what, 8 years old?

Anyway "it" was already smouldering before puberty and when that hit it was like throwing gas on a fire. The hormones, the taboo, the feeling and look of the clothes... Unstoppable.

I think I have mild dysphoria, not enough to go all the way. Having said that, I have rationalized my crossdressing as a fetish in the past but I like dressing without sex being involved and have done so for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still rationalizing things now and perhaps I have much stronger dysphoria that I'm suppressing? I've had a lot of practice suppressing things. I do like being a man fairly often but what if that's a coping mechanism? LOL, what a mess.

So, I don't know. I'm still searching. I sure feel better about all of it since I got here though.

I hope seeing my confusion after 40 years helps you feel better about your own questions Tina, good luck on your journey hun.

-- Abbie 🥰😘

Holy cow Stephanie!

"I was taken to school in a dress by my mother" that must have been so traumatic, assuming it was some form of punishment based on your other comments. Hugs...

-- Abbie 🥰😘

It's self expression.

What we wear is an outward expression of how we feel inside.

If you think about it, there's no such thing as cross dressing - only clothing.

Go back a mere couple of thousand years in the 4 million year human history, and the difference in attire between the genders is not as strong.

The fashion industry has created the ideas of masculine and feminine clothing and sold them hard.

This suit will look sharp, emphasise manly shoulders - that dress will accentuate the bust and minimise the waist, and so on.

In many indigenous cultures, the concept of gender as binary is alien - some ancient cultures list 28 variations.

Some remote cultures still see clothing as entirely optional - which it is, until someone else hammers home the noxious idea that not covering up the "naughty bits" is shameful.

The Cerne Abbas giant is an interesting testament to how naughty bits were seen in England a mere 1000 years ago or so.

Is the question why do we cross dress, or why do we choose particular clothes on a particular day?

Love Laura

• Men’s clothing is frankly, boring.
• Women's clothes are varied, colorful softer and pleasing from a textural standpoint
• I feel attractive in women’s clothing, I do not in male Clothes.
• Crossdressing encourages me to take care of myself. Dressing mundane encourages bad behavior.

overall I personally do have a woman inside me. When I dress for that part of me, I feel happy. I can be me, I can have emotions. I can be nice.

Even just a few hundred years ago, men wore the wigs, makeup, fancy clothes and pointy shoes and complained if women did anything fancy outside of special occasions. Somewhere along the way we got screwed.

— Abbie 🥰

Hello.

Why do I crossdress????

I could give a long list, but basically.....

Because I want to!!!!  it's my choice and I thought I lived in a world where I was allowed a say in how I live my life....obviously not.

There would be a perfect solution to all of these problems we have...

Make women's clothes universal, then we could attack and confront any men who secretly dressed in drab while their wives were out!!! ......

oooooh, shoe high heel on the other foot or what!

Edit for Lisa.............. why????

I adore looking pretty, feeling good and it makes me a happier, better and more contented person ...why wouldn't I??? xx

Grace ❤️

This has been discussed by so many times through the years, with myself, my sister, close friends and counselors.

THE why that I want to present as female could have been answered on that first day, but I was 5, what did I know?  I knew that the cute girl that I saw in that mirror that morning , and everytime I dressed after that, was me.   One way or another, she and I were the same person.

At first, I could only see her occasionally, but it always made me want to see/be her more and more as I aged up.  By puberty, I knew, in my heart and mind that I was born a girl, but some parts got mixed up.  Was I cheated in the chromosome wash that ultimately determines our physical sex, and only got a partial rinse?

Was I interested in boys, and later men, because I was gay, or because part of my psyche was female, and I  was following those instincts?

The pursuit of that young girl has been a part of me, and part of my life since that first day.  I am finally closer to catching up to her, and becoming whole with her than I have been my whole life, for better or worse.  Some people say it is for worse, pphhhht!!!

This is me, I determine it, no religious or governmental  entity can tell me different, because I  know....... and that is all that is important.

PaulaF

All hugs gladly accepted Lisa!!

PaulaF

Hi Tina
In my view your reply should be ‘why not?’
Why is it socially unacceptable for a man to wear a dress, skirt, heels, costume jewellery etc etc?
Why should we be forced to conform with societal norms and expectations?
Why do some people love sports, some love painting, some love cars, some love collecting antiques, some love tattoos, why can’t we love fashion and exploring our feminine side? Everybody is different.
Why should we be forced to suppress something we love? Is it doing anybody any harm? Yes it may be causing friction with relationships, friendships, social situations etc, but is the cause of the problem us? Or is the problem inside the heads of the people who have a problem with it?

No it’s not because I’m gay or want to be a woman, stop trying to rationalise it with reasons!!! Why do I need a reason!!!

Sorry🥵venting🤣🤣🤣

❤️Bianca

Paula,

Thank you for that beautiful response.....

I share many of the thoughts you have posted

Thanks

I like your response. Instead of asking why, accept that it is and what it brings to me. I can deny the urge to dress en femme, but it does not change who I am and how I feel. Does it bring out a better version of me? I believe it does. I am a less angry person when dressing en femme even if it is just under dressing. Maybe the why is a journey of discovery but should not be a barrier to happiness and acceptance. If my SO can accept the way I dress, the real questions should be 'am I a better person and does it make me happy?'

There are many activities my SO does that makes her happy and therfore a better version of her. They are not activities that I enjoy but I support her in these activities just because they make her happy. I don't need to know why they make her happy. I just does.