Why do we gaze upon women..?

Why do “we” gaze upon  women…?

What is it about women that we find so attractive, so alluring …?

Regardless of their beautify, color of hair, skin, wisdom, tenderness, body type, weight, intelligence, wit, education, eyes, clothes, shoes, religion, movements, gestures, career, and essence, each and every woman  attracts us in some mysterious way, tugging at our consciousness, with “we” the watcher drawn to their essence, their femininity.

But who is the watcher? Which part of us is powerless not to gaze? Who are the parts of “we”…? Or perhaps like many people feeling born or trapped in the wrong body, their essence is not a we, but rather a strong “I”….

I’m currently on Maui with my wife, suffering through a vacation… 

Seriously? On Maui? LOL

Yes, Jules is here in spirit, her essence still strong, I’m spite of her”stuff” being left home. My wife and I had some never-to-understand un-evolved guests with us. I had even bought a cute swim-dress for this trip. But alas I had to leave everything home, except for a few panties.

“We” (Let’s call him, my male self, Bob for now.) went down to the beach a few days ago to bob (no pun intended) in the deliciously warm and sensuous Maui waters. Even though in male mode complete with Speedo, I was all Jules in essence. The saltwater on my skin was sensuous as it massaged my tanned skin, with the Hawaiian sun warming my back, pure heaven!

I noticed a young man photographing something by the rocks at the tide’s edge. A sea turtle!

Chatting, I learned he had been watching it for fifteen minutes. And then I learned he had just proposed to his best girl the night before on that same beach.

And then for me, the earth suddenly and unexpectedly moved. Looking up I almost lost my balance in the loose wet sand and small surf as my gaze fell on her…

Her… 

She was a Goddess. No other title would do. Her skin was bronze, contrasting the her skimpy white string bikini sitting low on her hips. Sand was the color of her hair, and blue sky the color of her eyes. But it was the way she moved, the way she walked, the sway of her hips, and the way she flipped her hair, hair that swayed across those hips which I found so attractive. Yet, it was her mannerisms and gestures oozing her femininity like sweet honey that drew me completely in…

She stopped at the water’s edge not twenty feet away, searching for the turtle still eating algae off the rocks. I tried to pull my eyes away. They wouldn’t obey, as they we’re hopelessly drawn to this Goddess with a female form more beautiful than any I’d had ever gazed upon.

Her laughter, as she spoke to the young man standing nearby was that of angels.

Pointing and gesturing at the turtle, and bursting out with joy, as only confident happy women can, she was perfect in every way.

I had probably been gazing (starring…?) for a lifetime, but actually five minutes. She? She didn’t notice. Do Goddess’s notice those ok a lesser plane?

No, because her realm was higher than mine. After all, she was a Goddess, and I a simple mortal, presenting as a male mortal at that…

But her “man” sure noticed, and gave me a hostile “why you dirty old man!” look (I was in guy mode, remember?). I wanted to explain that he was all wrong! I wasn’t lusting, damn it! ( really?).  And I wasn’t a dirty old man either! Hum…?

I wanted him to understand it was, I, Jules who gazed, a women. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t lusting over his earthly angel, but rather…, but what? I simply wanted to observe her, and emulate her beauty and femininity. In reality I simply wanted to BE HER in every way…

And years earlier when my young boy side was in elementary school it was the girls I watched, the girls I gazed upon, wearing their pretty dresses, skirts, and tops. I don’t know why at that age. But I did know that I gazed upon them differently than most of the other boys. Even at that young age, I gazed upon them with admiration and appreciation, appreciation of their…, well their simply being girls. At that time I didn’t think about being them, but rather only admiring them.

I also remember in 5th grade PE that we had foot races, and I was the second fastest kid in whole the school, second behind Becky. And did I mind? Of course not, because I remember watching her from behind, her skirt flapping with each stride., sometimes giving me a brief flash of her white panties. I also remember watching the girls brushing their hair, pulling it back into ponytails. K was envious because my folks always got me a crew cut, the proper cut for a young boy they’d say. But oh how I wished for a ponytail…

Later in life, married to a wonderful and beautiful lady, she’d catch me occasionally gazing upon other beautiful women. Sadly, that hurt her. And even then I didn’t understand my compulsion. Then one day I realized I didn’t gaze, ok, didn’t stare out of lust, but rather out of appreciation and envy. Somehow one day I was finally able to articulate my “gazing” to her. After a while, she would even point out an attractive woman (isn’t each and every woman attractive?) to me, pointing out each woman’s attributes, be it hair, shoes, makeup, walk, dress, etc, exactly all the things I noticed.

Sadly, my male side, my twin brother having worked many many “manly” jobs, noticed that was rarely the case. The men would notice “other” attributes of the women they gazed upon. Attribute like breasts, and  behinds, or bums, as a friend would say. I always felt they were being crass. How could their sexual drives speed right past the true feminine essence of the women they looked at, an essence that surrounds most women like a bright aura? 

For years I wondered why I was different in my “gazing” upon women. You see, at that time I really didn’t acknowledge or understand this female “part” of me. I hadn’t yet “discovered” Jules…

When I finally did, with the help of a Shaman, a light bulb went off, illuminating my female self with all her curiosities and desires. This female side of “we” is, I believe with all my heart, the soul, spirit, or essence of my vanishing twin sister - Jules. I hope to write more on that in a future article. 

Simply put Jules was a very young girl, a girl with few life experiences, a girl who needed to understand better the essence that freely flows in most women. I wanted to learn how the be them, to be a girl, and then a women, a beautiful women who’s presentation would reflect proudly upon women.

So why do YOU gaze upon women? What do you seek from them? And why do you seek it. Do you admire women, as I? Do you try to emulate those women, not only in presentation, but their essence, warmth, and their femininity? 

And what is the “part” of you doing the gazing. Who is that? Is it your male part? Your female part? Of possible you don’t have a “part”. Possibly you have always been totally female, perhaps born into the wrong body.

Or perhaps YOU, your feminine part, like me is the soul, spirit, or essence of your vanished twin sister…

Medically, there has always been the phenomena of vanishing twins, twins that were viable, and then vanished. It’s quite common, actually. For years doctors noticed signs and remains of that twin, and and they rarely told the mother.

But what happened to the soul, spirit, of essence of that twin? Many times they choose to pass to the other side of the veil. But sometimes they chose to stay, to stay as a spirit residing in a shared body.

That is who I believe I am. And perhaps that is why I watch. Watching simply as a little girl trying to learn how to be a women…

Perhaps that is why you watch, why you gaze upon a women with a sense of wonder, secretly yearning to be a women because that after all is your true authentic part. Perhaps…

Hugs to all you beautiful women,

Jules 

🥰🥰🥰🥰