Why should I feel shame or guilt?

I think they are all jealous of how good we look. That or they are stupid. That's not the answer anyone was looking for is it. Sorry.

I wrote a poem on that very thing, why should I feel this shame. Society as a whole would probably be ok with it. It’s just the random ass.... that are  the problem. We are who we are and there is no shame in it. If I wish to present as a woman so be it. Well in a perfect world.....💕💋 Katie

I guess we all ponder shame.  I have been out fully dressed and with wig a few times now, only driving and met a friend for some conversation.   I look at a picture of myself as male and my picture as female and the female seems more happy and confident than the other.  Yesterday I was completely dressed, womens skinny jeans, flowy two tome top, bra, and slight padding.  I did not have my wig or makeup.   I was so obviously dressed in womens clothes.   I was with wife and we went to Kohls and Target and then I went to Goodwill while she went to a craft store.  I had my purse tje whole day as well.  I  was a bit nervous at times but no body said anything to me.  I want to try going to a park as Emily. Maybe even walk along a trail or something.

It was a great walk, Birel. I feel a little sad I didn't go with you to DQ. I hope we can go out somewhere soon again. Maybe to some pride event latter in the month. We all need to get it in our heads that if someone has a problem with our CD it is their problem not ours.
When I got home my X was in the other room and she insisted on seeing what I was wearing. I was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans over my leggings. First thing I did was drop off my things on my bed. Then I took off my sweatshirt and jeans and showed her my leggings, nice top with 'D' forms and made up face. After she insulted me a couple of minutes we started having a nice conversation. I took a little over an hour before I started changing back into drab. She seems to be softening up on my CD a little. I think it might be time to start dressing in front of her a little more.
. . Sandy

Sandy, it was a nice walk. And I'm glad to hear your ex is coming around a bit. There should be plenty of good opportunities to dress up and go to events during pride month. And, it doesn't take much to talk me into going for ice cream, if we want to do that next time. 🙂

Birel

Emily, I know exactly what you mean about the feminine you seeming happier!

Birel

They're afraid we're all going to change the world they're comfortable in to something else. They're afraid of us, maybe just because we're different. Some will claim we're an abomination, and we should be removed. But I think most simply don't want to be bothered with us, one way or the other. Then there's those who want us there, for whatever reason. Well, we're here to stay. And we're not going anywhere. We'll, by that I mean we're not going away, but really we're going everywhere.

We're doing no harm to no one, we largely want to be left to do our thing, and to be treated like everyone else. Doesn't seem so difficult or dangerous.

Bridgette

On the practical side, it is natural to want to avoid controversy and confrontation - and we fear that (though it has become rare). On the emotional side, we face the common false belief that all CDs are gay and probably child molesters - labels to be avoided at all costs. Going public in the face of this requires both self-acceptance and self-confidence in who you really are. It's not guilt or shame at all; merely survival instinct.

Sometimes, it is that simple.

Whether it's true or not, I am not offended by anyone thinking that I am gay. That is nothing to be ashamed of. I think you are on to something with the survival instinct. Because, when I'm dressed alone, or out in an environment that I feel safe in, I feel no shame or guilt. And, I've found that I find strength in numbers, if I'm with another CD, I don't feel as threatened being around others. That's why I really appreciate Sandy walking with me at the park. I doubt she realizes how much those simple walks help me build my confidence and make me comfortable progressing my dressing.

Birel

Yes, people fear change. It's much more comfortable for them if society would just stay the way that it always has been for them. I think that's the same reason people stay in bad jobs, because they are familiar, therefore somehow less fearful than having to change.

Birel

Shame is very common in our society. My parents used to reprimand us kids with " shame on you!"

It is also common for others who feel shame to project it onto others. That way they can blame others for feeling crappy about themselves. It's easier for them that way, just unfair to us recieving their abuse.

Ignorance breeds contempt. People have been programmed for years that different is wrong. Boys wear blue pants and a shirt with short straight hair and girls wear dresses with ponytails and any deviation from this is wrong and should be scorned and shamed so when we dress it's in our minds this is wrong and I should be embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

The younger generations are growing up much more tolerant as the LGBTQ lifestyle has become more open and acceptable but I've got a couple of friends my age who are completely intolerant and look at us as mentally ill, sick deviants.

It's going to take a long time, it won't be in my lifetime but things are a lot better than they used to be. I was raped in a motel room and the cop told me what did you expect, look at how your dressed. I gave them the one guys name, phone number and address and I never heard a thing about it. If that doesn't install shame what will.

So you were right at the start, the correct answer is you shouldn't feel shame or guilt, they go hand in hand. You are doing nothing wrong it's just what society has lead people to believe.

Hi Birel;
The Gay tag doesn't bother me either (I'm not), but being a suspected predatory child molester - as some folks believe - is too much to ignore. Still, I go out Dressed regularly, I'm sure I get tagged, and it doesn't upset me any longer.

Hugs,
Bettylou