Wicked put downs

I work better "in the moment" as it were, I love your question though. My mind's just a blank...

Bridgette

I like the famous Churchill quote.

When accused by a female guest of being drunk, Winnie responded "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Connie

xxx

My usual snappy comeback is  "I can tell your Village is really missing it's Idiot."

hehehe

Hi Celeste,

Lol, I'm guessing that in America the following just doesn't work:

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Marti xxx

For all you Seinfeld fans, the best, or maybe the dumbest put-down: “Oh yeah? The Jerk Store called. They’re running out of you!”

Clara Costanza

Marti,

I think "My bra size is probably bigger than your I.Q"  is a great crossdresser comeback  with rednecks, tho' if they are intelligent enough to get the insult, they may get pissed off  😆

Stevie

Terence Stamp, in The Adventures of Prescilla, Queen of the Desert, after being put down in an outback pub by a local lady when he was in drag, replied: Why don't you just light your tampon and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get sweetheart!

Not very nice, but a cracker 🤭

Zsazsa

"Is that ye... or moo ?..." delicate sniff of the air in medieval pose, head raised slightly, wrinkling nose, looking behind etc.

" Thank you, point well made. I'll go change before I dissolve from laughter " ( stern look recommended ).

" Thank you, yes I probably do look good for my age. My great-grandmother said the same about you".

" Killing me softly, yes, you are dependable ".

" Here borrow my mirror - yours has cracked".

"Lovely nails.... the claw hammer suits you".

"And toes too... best since my car broke down".

BUT THE PRIZE GOES TO Winstone Churchill ....

Lady Aster was an arch critic of Winstone .... " Mr Churchill, if I were your wife, I'd poison your coffee".
Winstone replied...
"Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it"

cheers - !!!

To lady Aster ( in parliament )

"You're looking tired, but the tread suits you".

Bridgette - that is clever .... i think it sounds better this way???
" I work better "in the moment" as it were ( darling ), but I love your question. Your mind's just gone blank". A little twist .... that leave you thinking..... ( is that getting at me??? )

If anyone ever gives you a lewd comment or a hard-time, you could try this:

"Oh, Honey. I'd never drop to my knees for you cause small objects are a choking hazard!"

Can't remember when I heard that one, but it's been stuck in my brain for a few years.

Barb :B

Q - 'You are ugly'

' And yours is the face that launched a thousand ships'

'And yours is suited for radio'

' Could be worse - I could be you'

' You haven't been near a mirror lately'

'At least I try to look good, what's your excuse'.........

Hi Marti....

"I would take you on in a battle of wits ....but I would hate to fight an unarmed man"!!!!

Grace xx

For dating sites - "you look lovely. What face app do you use?"

Barb.....as long as it was just your brain it was stuck in!!!...yikes